The Alpha's Silent Bride: Seventh Time's The Charm

Chapter 75: 075: Goodbye

~ ROSELLE ~

My eyes prop open when I hear a soft knock on the door. The morning light slams into my eyes, making me squeeze them shut immediately. I slowly rise from the bed, half-blind, as I make my way to the window and shut it.

Hell, how did I end up sleeping without closing the windows?

Oh well, that’s another sign of how much I miss Ronan. He’s always right there, taking care of the little things I need before I even ask. He seems to know me better than I know myself.

My lashes flutter as my eyes finally adjust, relieving the ache from the blinding light. I yawn and stretch before my morning nature calls. My bladder reminds me that I need to relieve myself.

Another knock.

Oh hell, that’s what woke me up. Someone’s at the door.

I drag myself to the door, my hand already reaching for the knob before I even question who’s standing outside or take a second to think.

I almost feel my heart stop when I see Ronan standing there. He’s already dressed, ready to leave the pack.

My heart aches.

I know I stupidly told him I wasn’t going with him when he asked. I know. But that was because I don’t want to be the other woman. I want our situation to be clear. I don’t want to be the woman who ends up claiming a man while depriving him of the chance to have a complete family with his supposed mate... if Mara eventually gets pregnant.

Or worse... I’ll spend every day blaming myself for making such a selfish choice on someone else’s behalf.

"Hey, good morning," I drawl, trying to keep my voice neutral while convincing myself that I’m okay... that I’m doing the right thing.

"Did you sleep well?"

Those gray eyes study me for a full second, and I nod. Even with the dark circles beneath his eyes, I can tell he barely slept... and I miss him. I do. I miss knowing when something is bothering him. I miss the way he’d tell me everything going on with him and the pack after dinner.

"Yes, I did..." I say, stepping aside just in case there’s something he needs to get from the room.

Instead, he leans against the doorframe and reaches for my hand.

The moment his fingers wrap around mine, electricity buzzes through me.

Fuck.

I want to throw my arms around him, pull him close, and tell him I want to go with him... to forget every promise and every ounce of restraint I’ve worked so hard to build. I want to kiss those lips I’ve come to miss so much, breathe him in, and lose myself in his embrace... just for a moment.

The sudden creak of the door beneath my other hand snaps me back to reality.

I jerk my hand out of his grasp immediately, as though the contact burns, and he blinks twice before clearing his throat.

"I’m leaving this morning," Ronan says quietly, and the words feel like they physically compress my chest.

Of course he’s leaving. I already know that. But knowing it in my head and hearing him say it out loud are two entirely different things.

"I know," I whisper, my chest heaving.

My gaze trails after his hand as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out something—a silver pendant.

My breath catches.

"What is that?" I ask as he lifts it, bringing it closer for me to see.

"It’s a pendant. A special one." His voice drops to a near whisper. "I need you to wear it for me... and don’t take it off."

His tone is soft, reminding me of the way he speaks whenever he’s asking for my permission to kiss me.

"Ronan..." I rasp, my lashes fluttering as I blink back the tears stinging the corners of my eyes.

But he’s already lifting the pendant, silently asking for permission.

I nod.

Turning around, I lift my hair over one shoulder, and his hands come around my neck.

The moment his fingers brush the bare skin there, a shiver races through me. It’s just his hands on my neck, just the simple act of fastening a pendant, yet it feels like so much more.

Every gentle brush of his fingertips steals another breath from my lungs, my heart pounding so hard I’m certain he can hear it.

When he’s done, his hands rests for the briefest moment, and I have to fight every instinct screaming at me to lean back into his touch.

My heart is pounding so hard I’m certain he can feel it. My pulse is racing, betraying everything I’ve been trying to hide, that I don’t want him to leave. That I want to beg him to stay. That I want to tell him I was wrong to refuse to go with him.

The pendant settles against my skin, and it’s warm, warmer than it should be. It feels like it’s pulsing in sync with my heartbeat.

Kiss me, I think desperately, hoping somehow he can read my mind. Please just kiss me. Give me something to hold onto while you’re gone.

For a moment, just a moment, I think he might do it. His hands rests at the nape of my neck.

His fingers brush against my skin with a gentleness that makes my breath catch. His body is close enough that I can smell him, vanilla and wood and chocolate... and I want to turn around and bury my face in his chest and never let go.

Suddenly, he pulls back, breaking the spell between us. His hands fall away, and the loss of his touch feels like a physical blow. The warmth he’d left behind fades almost instantly, leaving the cool morning air to settle against my skin, and an ache in my chest that I know has nothing to do with the pendant.

I turn slowly to face him, and the look in his eyes breaks something inside me.

"If you need anything," he says, his voice rough, "anything at all, you can call me. I’ll come back immediately." His hooded gray eyes are on me as he speaks.

I nod, unable to form words.

"I love you, Roselle," he continues, words from the dept of his chest as he pours them out to me, his eyes still locked on mine, I could feel the emotion, the rawness and devastation and it takes everything in me not to reach for him.

I want to say it back. I want to tell him that I love him too, that I’ve never stopped loving him, that this separation is killing me. I want to tell him that I’m sorry for doubting him, that I believe him, that I trust him.

But the words stick in my throat, trapped behind the fear that if I say them, if I let myself fully acknowledge how much I love him, I won’t have the strength to let him leave.

Instead, My mouth remain shut, the words burning in my chest. I just watch as his expression falls slightly—as he realizes I’m not going to respond.

"Take care of yourself," he says finally, his voice hollow. "Please. Just... take care of yourself while I’m gone."