Chapter 86: Heart Flutter
Raven
By the time I returned to my room and the door shut firmly behind me, I had to pinch myself just to make sure I wasn’t trapped inside some impossible dream.
A dream my mind had created as an escape from the prison I lived in.
Slowly, I sat down on the edge of the bed, replaying every single word Alpha Thor had spoken to me.
"It’s unthinkable," I whispered under my breath.
My hands folded tightly in my lap while I stared blankly ahead, wondering if the entire thing had been some elaborate joke.
Would I wake up tomorrow only for him to laugh at me?
The thought alone twisted painfully in my stomach.
Everything he had offered sounded perfect.
Too perfect.
That was the problem.
The reasons behind his offer felt weak and impossible to believe, yet no matter how much I tried to dismiss it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Closing my eyes, I leaned back slowly against the bed.
We would leave the pack.
I would never have to complete another ritual again.
The thought alone felt unreal enough to make my chest ache.
I didn’t truly know what kind of man Thor was. He was cold, distant, and difficult to understand.
But goddess willing, I didn’t care.
He was an alpha.
He was powerful enough to protect me.
And if a mate bond truly formed between us, then I wouldn’t mind giving him children and quietly spending the rest of my life beside him.
A normal life.
A quiet life.
I would dedicate myself completely to serving him if that was what it took. I would cook for him, obey him, place him first in everything.
Anywhere was better than here.
Anywhere was better than being surrounded by people who looked at me like something disgusting.
The fantasy was comforting.
Beautiful even.
But every single time I allowed myself to sink into it, reality came crashing down on me again.
The voices started almost immediately.
"Do you really think you deserve happiness after what you did?"
My breathing slowed.
"People died because of you."
I squeezed my eyes shut harder.
"A good life? Children? Peace? You truly think you deserve any of that?"
The knot in my throat tightened painfully.
"You’re selfish," the voice continued mercilessly. "You should spend your entire life making up for your sins."
I gritted my teeth together so hard it hurt.
"You think your suffering matters more than the people who died because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut?"
My chest tightened violently.
I grabbed my head with both hands, shaking it hard as if I could physically throw the thoughts away.
But they only grew louder.
Stronger.
Tears burned painfully behind my eyes.
I knew what I had done.
I knew.
But hadn’t I already paid enough?
"Fucking parasite," the voice hissed viciously inside my head.
"That’s all you are."
Fresh tears slipped down my face.
"What could you possibly offer an alpha that another woman—a better werewolf—couldn’t?"
I curled slightly inward on the bed.
"You want children?" the voice mocked cruelly. "Children like you? Weak. Worthless. Without a wolf."
The words sank deep inside me because they were true.
"With a better woman, his offspring would be strong."
More tears spilled down my cheeks as I finally stopped trying to fight the thoughts.
Instead, I simply stared blankly at the ceiling while tears streamed endlessly down my face.
What use could I possibly be to Thor?
At best, I could escape this place and remain useful to him until he eventually no longer needed me.
At worst...
Everything he told me had been a lie from the beginning.
A carefully crafted trap to make me lower my guard so he could become my only captor.
Sleep eventually came, but barely.
Even then, it felt shallow and restless.
The next thing I knew, loud knocks pounded aggressively against my door.
I jerked awake.
"Dress up and get ready!" the guard barked as he pushed the door open slightly. "The alphas insist you attend a meeting."
Then he shut the door again before I could respond.
Groggily, I turned my head toward the window.
The skies had already brightened considerably.
From outside the room, I could hear distant voices and the clatter of plates.
Breakfast had already started.
I overslept.
Yet somehow, it felt like I hadn’t slept at all.
Exhaustion weighed heavily on my body as I forced myself out of bed and began preparing quickly.
I carefully built a calm expression I didn’t actually feel.
Inside, my heart was pounding violently.
I slipped into one of the only two gray outdoor gowns I owned before tying my hair tightly into a bun.
Leaving it down only attracted more attention than I wanted.
By the time I finished dressing, hunger twisted painfully inside my stomach.
But since breakfast had never arrived at my room, the meeting was obviously happening during the meal itself.
Which meant more talking.
More watching.
More pretending.
When I finally entered the main hall downstairs, all of them were already seated.
Including Gessia.
Rex barely acknowledged my existence.
Ever since the ritual, he had begun acting similarly to Thor—deliberately ignoring me as though I wasn’t there at all.
Axel was different.
The disgust and fury in his glare looked deeply rooted inside him, like hatred carved directly into his bones.
I also felt Thor watching me.
But this time, I couldn’t bring myself to look back at him.
Not after last night.
Not after everything he had said.
Instead, I quietly moved toward a corner while servants continued placing food across the massive table.
I remained standing silently, waiting for someone to hand me a plate before I would inevitably be dragged back to my room afterward.
But despite myself, I hated the growing urge to look at Thor.
To truly look at him.
My heart didn’t care whether his promises were lies or not.
It only cared that he had spoken them.
In some strange way, part of me had heard forgiveness in his words.
Or at least something close to it.
"Today," Rex began firmly, "we’ll finalize which women Axel will be taking and determine how long he’ll remain in the human village."
But before he could continue further, Thor suddenly spoke.
His deep voice rumbled through the room effortlessly.
"Before we start," he said calmly, "Raven should sit. We should treat her better if she’s going to continue being useful to us."
Shock instantly flooded the room.
Including me.
My eyes widened before I quickly lowered my head even further, my pulse thundering loudly in my ears.
