Chapter 292: Different Reaction II
"Well..." I pursed my lips and considered Damon’s question carefully, while Damon’s eyes continued to bore into my head, waiting impatiently for an answer. There was no point in lying since Damon could sense my emotions. "I can’t say I would be as displeased. But I would still be upset."
After all, Blaise was better at diplomacy, and would probably have more ideas on how to deal with this internal turmoil within the pack. As a beta, not an Alpha, he wouldn’t raise as many hackles.
It also helped that Blaise was relatively charming, and could put people at ease. There was no denying that he had that advantage over Damon, who glowered and scowled like he was born to do it.
Something must have reflected in my face, or in the bond, for Damon suddenly flinched as though I had struck him with a silver glove. There was no denying the hurt that laced through him so viscerally that I nearly bowed over in surprise.
Crap. I accidentally made things worse! That wasn’t my intention at all, but my words were taken the wrong way. Before I could explain, Damon opened his mouth.
"So... in the end, you would still prefer him," he said, his voice hollow and wooden.
He took a step back and I hurriedly grabbed his sleeve to stop him. If I hadn’t, I had a feeling he might turn away forever for good.
"What does Blaise have that I do not possess?" Damon asked brokenly, staring down at my fingers clenched in the fabric of his shirt. In that moment, he was less like the mighty alpha werewolf, the harbinger of destruction for many a pack.
Instead, now he seemed to be a drowning man trying his best to reach the shoreline, only for the waves to buffet him, sending him crashing back into the watery embrace of the ocean.
And only I had the means to give him a lifebuoy, after being the one to push him off the boat to begin with.
"Wait, let me explain, it came out wrong," I said quickly. "I just wanted to say―"
"I’m perfectly capable of understanding simple English," Damon said, prying my fingers away from his shirt, with the pride of an innocent man walking to the gallows. "My presence gives you more displeasure than my brother’s. I should never have come."
"Damon, please, you have to understand, it’s not about you as a person. My displeasure comes from worry, and that stems from the difference in your positions," I said.
Damon paused, his confusion palpable through the bond. I continued since he didn’t seem to be ready to take off into the wilderness in his hurt.
"Blaise is not an alpha," I began, and Damon scoffed.
"Is that it?"
"Damon, are you being obtuse on purpose? If it was you in Darach’s position, would you be happy if an alpha from another pack casually strode into your pack uninvited?"
Let alone one with as thorny a history as those two. It was tantamount to spitting in Darach’s face.
"You have to think about how it would affect other people! Not to mention the entire pack would have had some knowledge of how you ill-treated Darach as a youth― I wouldn’t put it past Thorton Elrod to come up with some sad sob story to justify his actions. And don’t forget, Dahlia is still here, and seeing you might cause that last bit of sanity to leave her."
"Harper, that’s all the more reason you should be returning with me," Damon declared. "Leave them behind. This isn’t even your battle. "
"But I care about Thunderstrike’s wolves," I retorted easily. "I want to do a good job for them. Do you know what I’ve done in these few days?"
"Other than putting yourself in danger?"
"I saved a pup! Kyle didn’t tell you about how I won an argument against Dahlia Elrod and a fight against a wendigo. I comforted the injured and began investigations. I made a difference!" Pride suffused my words as I recalled the day’s events. Me, a mere wolfless hybrid, did all that on my second day.
I could feel proud of myself. I could stand on my own two feet.
And I knew I could be capable of a lot more if only Damon gave me that chance to prove it.
"Damon, I know you are worried about me, but you can’t keep me sheltered forever. How can I learn to be a good luna if you’re not going to give me a chance to learn? It’s not as though there’s anyone to teach me back in Fangborne!" I demanded.
Damon opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
"What’s more, leaving here would ruin my reputation among neighboring packs. Do you want your future luna to be a laughingstock? Even if you’re willing to take this risk, I’m not!"
"No one would dare to laugh at you with me there," Damon protested, but I could sense that he was wavering. Someone like Damon who had the world at his feet would never have to deal with the mocking of others in their circle. Clearly, I had pointed out something he had failed to take note of.
"I just barely managed to salvage my reputation among Fangborne after so much effort," I said bitterly, recalling all the disdain I had endured thus far. "Have you forgotten, Damon? Not even you and Blaise managed to change their minds― the only reason why Kyle is now on my side and not spitting curses at me was because I saved him. Because I changed his mind, with my own two hands. Because I didn’t run from danger and leave him to his own devices."
Because I wasn’t a quitter.
Of course, Kyle’s first loyalties were to Damon, which was why I was even in this mess to begin with.
"Damon, I cannot be hiding behind you and Blaise all the time," I said firmly. "I know you’re worried, but I’m not budging on this."
Damon’s face was pinched in distaste as he registered my words.
"No wonder Blaise said this was a fool’s errand, and told me not to get my hopes up," Damon said grimly. "He must really know you better than I do."
"And he’s right," I said, meeting Damon’s stormy blue eyes.
A wellspring of hurt was brewing inside him, and part of me felt terribly guilty to have been the one to cause it. But another part of me knew that this was the best decision for myself.
"I’m glad to see you, but I’m sorry― if you want to bring me back, you’re wasting your time."
