The Alpha Who Regrets Losing Me

Chapter 92: Chapter 92 – The Forgotten Road

The World Government’s gray road stretched through the forest like an unnatural wound. Its stones were too smooth, its edges too sharp, its silence too conscious. As Elara walked, she understood that this road had not been built only for vehicles to pass. It had also been designed not to leave traces. The soil did not sink, no leaves broke, and footsteps did not travel as far as they should have. It was as if the road swallowed those who crossed over it and remained as though it had never been touched.

Kael was walking on her left. Rowan was on her right. Talon was a little behind, watching the surroundings with the two remaining wolves from Blackthorn. The young guard had stayed behind Rowan. Lucien’s blue-marked man moved a little farther from everyone, but still close enough not to leave the road. No one trusted one another. Despite that, they were walking in the same rhythm. When Elara noticed this, she did not like the thought that crossed her mind. Sometimes war could imitate the place of trust.

The fourth line was still beating inside her chest like a dark compass. The direction of Black Moon Archive remained steady, but as the road continued, the air around them began to change. The scent of the forest faded. Wet leaves, moss, and soil gave way to old metal, cold stone, and the air of rooms that had been closed for far too long. Elara had never smelled this scent before. And yet, it felt familiar. That familiarity did not belong to her, but to the thing inside her.

The Moon Spirit did not speak for a long time. This silence no longer frightened Elara immediately, but it did not comfort her either. Because when the Moon Spirit went silent, the emptiness inside her grew. Sometimes old Elara’s warmth stirred in that emptiness, and sometimes the cold sense of direction from the fourth line became heavier. Elara was no longer walking with a single voice inside herself. This crowd sometimes felt as if it would tear her apart, and sometimes, strangely, as if it was keeping her standing.

After a while, Kael’s voice was heard. "The road is too clean."

Elara looked at him. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Things that stay clean in nature are either new or deliberately kept clean."

Rowan spoke without taking his eyes off the road. "Or everyone who passes over it is being recorded."

Talon grunted from behind. "This conversation did not comfort me at all."

Elara answered in a dry voice. "No one here is assigned to comfort you."

The corner of Kael’s lips moved faintly. Rowan said nothing, but Elara felt that he had heard her answer and calmly placed it somewhere inside himself. She would not have noticed such small things before. Now even people’s silences had separate textures. Kael’s silence was usually the waiting state of fire. Rowan’s stood like a door that had not been closed. Talon’s was distrust, the young guard’s was respect and unease, and Lucien’s man’s was the shadow of someone used to carrying another person’s orders.

When the road sloped slightly downward, the forest began to thin. The trees opened, and a wide, empty stony area appeared before them. At first glance, it looked like the remains of a bridge. The gray road came to the middle of the stony ground, then suddenly ended. There was no continuation on the other side. Only mist. Not smoke, not morning fog either. It was denser, duller, a mist that refused to show itself.

Rowan stopped. "This area was not on the maps."

For the first time, Lucien’s man whispered as if speaking to himself. "It should not be."

Kael turned to him. "Sentences like that usually end with something bad."

The man did not answer.

Elara took one step forward. The mist felt as if it was looking at her. It was not moving, but it was not still either. There was a very thin vibration inside it. The fourth line slowed in her chest. Then it deepened. The direction of Black Moon Archive passed directly through the mist.

The Moon Spirit finally spoke. "The forgotten road."

Elara asked inwardly, "What does that mean?"

"Some places are not hidden," said the Moon Spirit. "They are removed from memory. Not only erased from maps. They are taken from those who know them too."

Elara’s gaze fixed on the mist. "Then who remembers this place?"

The Moon Spirit’s answer came lower. "Vessels."

That word chilled Elara from within. Other vessels. The first failed attempt. The memory stone. Black Moon Archive. Everything was curving toward the same dark center. In that moment, Elara understood that this road would not only take them to the archive. It would also measure whether the archive would recognize them.

Rowan came beside her. "What do you feel?"

"This road was made forgotten."

Kael stepped to her other side. "Then do we have to pass through it?"

Before Elara could answer, a very thin sound came from inside the mist. Like a whisper. But it was not a word. It was more like the creaking of the hinge of a very old door. The young guard instinctively stepped back. One of the wolves behind Talon growled.

Lucien’s man said, "We cannot enter here."

Elara looked at him. "Why?"

This time, the man’s voice came harsher. "Because Lucien’s border ends here. Beyond this point, no family line, no pack right, no old agreement works."

Kael’s eyes narrowed. "So for the first time, you gave good news."

"No," said the man. "It means no one inside can claim you. But it also means no one can protect you."

When Elara heard this sentence, she felt a strange calm. Not being claimed and not being protected. Neither looked like freedom. Both resembled loneliness. But maybe the thing called choice began exactly in the place between the two.

Kael looked at Elara. "If we go in, I may not feel the pack bond."

Rowan added, "And I may not feel the border line."

Elara looked at them one by one. "So inside, you will be alone."

Kael’s answer did not delay. "No. We will only be away from old powers."

Rowan’s voice came quieter. "Sometimes those two can be the same thing."

Elara understood that he was saying this for himself too. Who was Rowan without Lucien’s line? Who was Kael without the Blackthorn call? Who was Elara without being trapped between the Moon Spirit and old Elara? Maybe Black Moon Archive was not an answer, but a larger darkness opening into those questions.

The mist rippled for a moment, and three shadows appeared inside it. They were not human. Not exactly animals either. Their shapes changed as if one moment they were wolves, one moment women, and one moment only long traces of moonlight. Talon reached for his sword. Kael lifted his hand. "Wait."

One of the shadow beings bowed toward Elara. It had no face, but Elara felt that it was looking at her. Then a voice came from within the mist. It was not the woman’s voice. Not the Moon Spirit’s either. It was older, more scattered, as if many women were speaking from very far away at the same time.

"The vessel has come."

Elara’s breath caught in her throat. Kael immediately turned to her, but did not touch her. Rowan’s gaze remained on the shadows.

The voice continued. "Fire walks beside her. The path walks beside her. The scent of packs remains behind her."

Talon spoke sharply. "Who are you?"

The shadow did not even turn to him.

Elara took one step. "We are going to Black Moon Archive."

The mist grew a little thicker. "The archive does not record the one who arrives. It opens what is remembered."

Rowan asked in a low voice, "What does it want?"

Elara could not answer. Because the fourth line in her chest had suddenly begun to beat faster. The Moon Spirit stirred inside her. "Do not say its name."

Elara paused inwardly. "Whose name?"

The Moon Spirit did not answer.

The shadow came a little closer to Elara. "What is the name of the moon inside you?"

Kael’s body tensed all at once. The silence on Rowan’s face sharpened. Talon and the young guard looked at each other. Elara did not understand why the question was dangerous, but she felt her body react as if it did. The dark line in her chest went cold. The Moon Spirit fell completely silent.

Elara spoke slowly. "I do not know its name."

The shadow remained still for a long time. Then another whisper spread from the mist. "Not yet."

That answer cut through all the exhaustion inside Elara. Not yet. So the Moon Spirit had a name. And if that name was known, something would change. Maybe control. Maybe a call. Maybe annihilation.

Kael spoke very low. "I don’t like this conversation."

Elara did not take her eyes off the shadow. "Neither do I."

Rowan took one step forward. "What do you want in exchange for passage?"

For the first time, the shadow turned to Rowan. "The road opens to those who know themselves. Not to those who hide themselves."

Rowan received that sentence silently. Elara felt the invisible weight on his shoulders shift for a moment. This mist was reading not only Elara, but all of them.

Kael’s voice came dark. "We need a road, not riddles."

This time, the shadow turned to Kael. "You do not seek a road. You seek a return."

Kael’s jaw tightened. Elara felt something old move inside him. Blackthorn. Old Elara. Regret. All of them stirred at the same time. But Kael did not step back. "Not anymore."

"Are you certain?"

Kael’s gaze did not shift to Elara. That mattered. He did not say the answer to draw strength from her. He said it from within himself. "No," he said. "But I will not return to the same place anyway."

The mist went silent for a moment. Then the shadow turned to Rowan. "And you?"

Rowan’s voice remained calm. "I keep the path open."

"And if the path calls you back?"

Rowan’s answer did not come immediately. Elara felt him weighing Lucien, the family line, his own pack, the border house, and his old decisions all at once. Then Rowan spoke. "Then I will first ask why it is calling."

The shadow inclined slightly, as if pleased. "Those who learn to ask can sometimes return before they are too late."

Elara saw that this touched Rowan. Because being too late was not only Kael’s story. Rowan had also closed some doors too late with his own silence.

At last, the shadow turned to Elara. "What are you searching for?"

Elara’s answer was not ready. She wanted to say Black Moon Archive. She wanted to say finding the woman. She wanted to say learning about the other vessels. She wanted to say understanding what was happening to herself. But none of those were the full answer. The mist would not accept them. Because the mist could hear the emptiness behind words too.

Elara slowly breathed in. "I no longer want to only answer whoever is calling me."

The shadow waited. Elara continued. "I do not want to learn who I am from their mouths. Not from the World Government, not from Lucien, not from the packs, and not from the voice inside me. I am looking for the truth."

"Truth hurts."

Elara’s voice came lower. "Lies and things kept hidden already hurt."

This time, a very faint sound spread through the mist. It was not crying. It was not laughter either. It was more like the air that comes from inside when the door of a forgotten room is opened. The shadow pulled back. The mist before them parted to both sides, and a narrow passage appeared within it.

Lucien’s man tensed. "I will not go beyond this point."

Talon looked at him. "I’m not surprised."

The man turned to Rowan. "I must report this to Lucien."

Rowan’s answer was calm. "Report it."

The young guard took one step forward. "Alpha, I am coming."

Rowan looked at him. "You do not know what this is."

"Neither do you."

Rowan was silent for a brief moment. Then he inclined his head very slightly. "Then keep your eyes open."

Talon looked at Kael. "We continue as two from Blackthorn. I will send the rest to the northern line."

Kael nodded. "We need speed. Not a crowd."

Talon’s gaze shifted to Elara. "Is walking with her always like this?"

Kael looked at Elara for a moment. Then he turned back to Talon. "No. It gets worse."

Elara turned her head slightly. "I can hear you."

Kael’s voice came low but warm. "I know."

That small moment created a strange warmth between them even at the edge of the mist. Rowan watched it. This time, he did not try to hide his jealousy, but he did not act on it either. Elara felt the controlled burn in his gaze. This burn was not as open as Kael’s fire. It was quieter, more determined, and maybe because of that, it felt like it would last longer.

When Elara walked into the mist, Kael moved to her left and Rowan to her right. But at the very first step, the mist pushed both of them a little away from her. Not physically. In a stranger way. Their voices became muted, their presence blurred. Elara could see them, but their feelings remained farther away. The red line weakened. The blue line thinned. The fourth line, on the other hand, grew stronger.

Elara stopped.

Kael noticed immediately. "What happened?"

His voice came from far away. Elara’s throat went dry. "I feel you less."

A very brief panic flashed across Kael’s face. Rowan’s eyes immediately followed the movement of the mist. "This place is suppressing the bonds."

The Moon Spirit whispered inside her. "No. It is not suppressing the bonds. It is separating which ones are yours and which ones belong to them."

When Elara heard this, she could not answer. Because all at once, she had moved slightly away from Kael’s warmth, Rowan’s coolness, the pressure of the packs, the World Government’s trace, and Lucien’s border. For the first time, she heard the emptiness inside herself more clearly. It did not feel like freedom. It felt like nakedness.

Kael took one step toward Elara. The mist moved between them. Elara instinctively raised her hand. "Don’t come."

Kael stopped. This time, his stopping hurt Elara more. Because in the past, Kael not coming would have hurt her. Now his stopping showed that he had truly changed. And change was sometimes heavier than an apology.

Rowan’s voice came. "Elara, can you keep going?"

Elara followed his voice. "Yes."

Kael spoke lower. "Are you sure?"

Elara looked at him. "No," Then she turned to the narrow passage inside the mist. "But if I stop, this road will decide for me."

Kael said nothing. Neither did Rowan. Both of them continued walking beside her, but this time they could not be as close to her as before. The mist did not allow it. Or maybe the road wanted this specifically. Elara’s choice, in this space, was not measured by holding someone’s hand, but by walking on her own feet even when a hand was offered.

As the road continued, the surroundings changed. Long black stones appeared on both sides. On every stone, there were erased faces. Some had their eyes carved out. Some had no mouths. Some had marks around their necks that resembled the memory stone worn by the woman. As Elara passed between them, she felt not that the stones were looking at her, but that they were trying to remember her.

She stopped before one stone. The face on it had been completely erased. But beneath it, there was an old inscription. Elara could not read it. The Moon Spirit read it. "Third vessel. Bond completed. Body did not endure."

Elara’s breath stopped.

From a distance, Kael asked, "What does it say?"

Elara did not want to answer. But she did not lie either. "One of the vessels before me."

Rowan came closer, but the mist held him at a certain distance. "How many are there?"

Elara looked around. The stones stretched on into the mist. They were not too many to count. But knowing there was more than one was enough.

"Many," she said.

The Moon Spirit read another stone. "Fifth vessel. Moon awakened. Name spoken. Body remained empty."

Elara’s insides turned to ice. The part about "name spoken" reminded her of the shadow’s question. What is the name of the moon inside you?

Kael saw the change on her face. "Elara."

"I am not supposed to know its name," Elara said.

Rowan understood immediately. "The Moon Spirit’s?"

Elara nodded. "If the name is spoken, something happens."

The Moon Spirit spoke sharply inside her. "Not every name is a door. Some are locks. Some are knives."

Elara wanted to close her eyes, but she did not. Because the faceless women on the stones felt as if they were looking at her even without eyes. Other vessels. Failed attempts. Bodies, bonds, names, seals. This story had not begun with her. Maybe it had been planned to end with her.

At the end of the road, the mist did not thin. On the contrary, it became more orderly. As she passed between the black stones lined on both sides, Elara felt that she was no longer walking through a road, but through a memory that resembled an old graveyard. On every stone, there were erased faces, broken inscriptions, and unfinished stories. Some had been completely forgotten. Some had been meant to be forgotten.

Then Kael suddenly stopped.

Elara felt the warmth on her left cut off. Kael’s breathing had changed. This time it was not anger. It was not tension before battle either. It was something older, more personal, and torn from somewhere deeper. When Elara turned her head toward him, she saw that Kael’s eyes were fixed on one of the stones ahead of them.

The stone was larger than the others. The face on it had not been completely erased. Time and mist had worn it down, but its features could still be made out. A fine face. Long hair. A stone around the neck that looked like darkened moonlight. And beneath the face, several lines carved in the old script.

Rowan stopped at the same time.

This time, his silence changed too. Normally, when Rowan wanted to hide something, his face would close. Now it did not. On the contrary, he looked as if a door locked for years had been broken open from the inside. Elara understood that both of them recognized the same stone. But not from the same place. There was blood in Kael’s gaze. In Rowan’s, there was loss.

"Who is this?" Elara asked.

Kael did not answer. Rowan did not speak immediately either. The Moon Spirit stirred heavily and coldly inside Elara. "Read."

Elara looked at the inscription on the stone. She did not know the words, but when the fourth line moved in her chest, the meaning slowly opened inside her mind.

Vessel from the Blackthorn Pack.

Moon bond completed.

Protected by fire.

Body did not return.

Elara’s throat went dry. Kael’s voice finally came. It was very low. "That is impossible."

There was an expression on Rowan’s face Elara had never seen before. Not completely pain, not completely fear. More like someone seeing, for the first time, the gravestone of a memory he had buried for years.

Elara asked slowly, "Did you know her?"

Kael’s jaw tightened. "She was the woman my brother tried to protect before he disappeared."

Rowan’s voice came quieter than Kael’s. But it was heavier. "And she was the woman I loved."

With that sentence, the mist thickened a little more around them. The erased face on the stone seemed, for an instant, to look at Elara. The darkened stone around her neck shone with a pale light. 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝘦𝓌𝑒𝑏𝑛𝑜𝘷𝑒𝘭.𝒸𝘰𝑚

The Moon Spirit whispered inside Elara. "Now you are beginning to understand why you were called to the archive."

Elara fixed her eyes on the face carved into the stone. Black Moon Archive was not only the place where the enemy hid its secrets. It was also the grave of Kael’s family, Rowan’s past, and the vessels destroyed before Elara.