Maybe my body still hadn’t gone back to normal.
Once I fell asleep, I couldn’t drag myself back out of it. I vaguely remembered walking into some room in a half-dream, but when I opened my eyes I was lying naked on a bed.
“......!”
I’d been staring blankly at the ceiling when a memory suddenly sliced through my head. I shot upright.
The image hit me full force — wading into the sea, churning up saltwater, only to have Lee Kangjoo grab the back of my neck and yank me out. I’d tried to stay awake in the car, but the warmth must’ve knocked me out. I’d nodded off like an idiot and completely passed out.
I looked around, trying to figure out where I was first. The layout screamed hotel. Through the crack in the curtains, the sky was dim — but I couldn’t tell if it was dawn or dusk.
I had no idea why I was lying here stark naked either. I at least wanted my underwear on, but nothing was in sight. I wrapped myself in the blanket and got off the bed, opened the closet. Just a bathrobe hanging there. No sign of my clothes.
After rummaging around uselessly, I gave up, slipped the robe on, and pulled the curtain aside.
Beyond the balcony stretched an endless ocean.
But before the sea even registered, my eyes landed on Lee Kangjoo sitting in a chair.
He must’ve sensed me because he turned his head. Embarrassed, I gave him a sheepish smile and tapped lightly on the glass door. He tilted his chin once, then looked back out at the water.
Permission granted.
If I walked out there in nothing but a thin robe in this weather, I’d probably collapse again and turn into his problem. So I wrapped the thick blanket tightly around myself and carefully opened the door.
I gathered my courage and sat in the chair beside him, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak.
If I’d been drunk and blacked out, I could’ve pretended not to remember and shamelessly asked what happened. But I’d jumped into the ocean fully conscious. Even if I had ten mouths, I wouldn’t have an excuse.
So I just sat there quietly, staring in the same direction, silently wishing he’d break the tension. A bluish dawn was spreading beyond the horizon.
The quiet cracked.
“Do you want to jump in again?”
The question hit like an ambush. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I flailed both hands and the blanket started sliding off; I grabbed it in a panic.
“No! I think I just lost my mind for a second yesterday.”
“You weren’t drinking.”
“Sometimes I get swept up by impulses. I guess that was one of those times. I wasn’t trying to die. I swear.”
I mixed in a lie and scrambled to explain myself. I emphasized over and over that it wouldn’t happen again. But no matter how desperately I insisted, Lee Kangjoo looked unimpressed. Judging by his face, even if I threw myself off the balcony, he wouldn’t bother catching me.
And yet, ever since last night, a faint belief had taken root in me. On that bridge over the river, he’d just watched like it was none of his business. But this time — even roughly — he’d dragged me out of the sea.
If I was in danger again, maybe... maybe he’d choose to help.
“By the way... have you seen my clothes?”
Leaving my shoes on the sand was one thing, but my clothes disappearing too was weird. I pressed the side of my hand to my brow and scanned inside through the glass, thinking maybe I’d missed them.
Nothing.
I tilted my head, confused.
“I threw them away.”
My jaw dropped.
“Excuse me? Then what am I supposed to wear when I leave—”
“You’ve run out of a hotel naked before. What’s there to be embarrassed about?”
He brought that up like it was nothing. Technically I’d been wearing underwear, not fully naked, but I had bolted like a rat either way. My cheeks burned remembering it.
Back then, I’d been running for my life. Pride didn’t matter. But now it wasn’t like that. I couldn’t exactly wrap myself in a hotel blanket and march out. I’d have to send him away and call Yohan for help.
“Then my wallet and phone...?”
“On the table.”
At least I had something. I let out a quiet sigh of relief when he wasn’t looking.
“The sun’s about to rise.”
After checking his watch, Lee Kangjoo looked toward the horizon. The eastern sky, once a pale navy, was slowly turning orange. The sun began to lift itself over the low clouds.
“Wow...”
It wasn’t my first time seeing a sunrise.
But the cold wind cutting across my skin, the crashing waves, the sea and sky deepening in color moment by moment — it felt completely different from every other sunrise I’d seen.
It wasn’t just the scenery.
I brushed my hair out of my eyes and glanced sideways.
Lee Kangjoo was there.
The sunlight fell across his face. He narrowed his eyes slightly against the glare. I watched him for a long time.
Just looking at him made my ears ring and my heart pound. It felt like sinking into scalding water. My breath shortened. Blood rushed through my veins. Everything in my vision blurred except him.
Only Lee Kangjoo remained sharp and bright.
It was ridiculous. He tormented me with indecent toys, threw away my clothes and shoes without asking — so what the hell was it about him that I liked so much?
He forced me to wash when I said I didn’t want to. Forced food into my mouth when I refused to eat. He was overbearing.
So why?
He was indifferent. And yet, more than that, he was gentle.
If he’d treated me like an object all the time, maybe my feelings wouldn’t have sunk this deep. But every so often, he’d offer a hand. Just a little sweetness. Enough that I kept craving more until I ended up here.
If he was going to hurt me, he should’ve just hit me. If he was going to despise me, he should’ve just cursed me. If he was going to ignore me, he should’ve done that.
Why did he stroke my hair instead? Why did he say my name? Why did he take care of me when I was sick?
My reason loosened for a second, and the feelings I’d been pressing down threatened to burst out. It felt like the same impulse that had pushed me toward the river and the sea.
“I li—”
Lee Kangjoo looked at me.
I bit down hard on the tip of my tongue and swallowed the pain.
“I mean... it’s nice to look at. The sunrise.”
I said something lame and turned back to the ocean. My whole body must’ve been burning red, but it didn’t matter. The entire world was painted orange anyway. I could just blame it on that.
* * *
It was my grandmother’s memorial day.
After finishing deliveries, I headed straight to Yohan’s place. I stopped by the market and bought the foods she used to like.
Yohan must’ve finished early too; the basement window was lit. I punched in the code and stepped inside. He was just setting the table when our eyes met.
“Oh?”
He widened his eyes and scanned me up and down. Embarrassed, I tucked my chin into my scarf.
“Who are you? Where’d the scruffy Cha Haejun go?”
“I should wear something nice to see my grandma.”
“I’ve never seen that before.”
Since I’d basically lived with one set of clothes, of course he’d notice something new. I took off my scarf and hung it up. It was thick and glossy, brand new. The old one full of fuzz pills had been thrown away the day I went to the sea with Lee Kangjoo.
“I got it as a gift.”
“A giftt?”
Yohan’s mouth fell open in disbelief. When I nodded, he started pestering me about who the hell was showering me with presents and told me to spill it.
Aside from Yohan, was there anyone else in this world who’d give me gifts?
A memory flashed through my head and my ears turned hot.
It hadn’t been long after we got back from the sea. I came home from work and saw boxes piled up in front of my door. For a second, I thought of that lunatic who once used my hallway like his personal storage and felt a chill.
Then I saw my name — Cha Haejun — written clearly in the recipient line.
I hadn’t ordered anything like this. It had to be a scam or misdelivery. I ignored the tower of boxes and went inside. I stripped and flopped onto the sofa, picking up my phone.
Then suddenly — dingdong — messages started pouring in.
Maybe it was because I’d dunked it in seawater, but my phone kept acting up. It had swallowed calls from Yohan and even the Boss more than once, causing all kinds of trouble.
Repairing it would cost more than it was worth, and I didn’t have enough money to buy a new one. I had Lee Kangjoo’s card, but that was supposed to be a last resort.
And then the damn phone finally decided to load Lee Kangjoo’s text messages late.
I shot upright and checked.
[Did you receive the gift?]
That’s when I realized the boxes outside were from him.
I ran out and hauled them inside as fast as I could. Even then I wasn’t sure they were really for me, so I called him. He didn’t answer — probably busy.
I decided to trust the message and started opening boxes.
Clothes.
Not just clothes — expensive brand-name stuff I’d never even dreamed of owning.
The parade didn’t stop. Coats, padded jackets, shirts, jeans — even underwear and shoes. Every single size fit perfectly.
I stood there staring at the clothes scattered across my room, still dazed, when my phone rang. The moment I saw his name, I picked up without thinking.
“Sir! Thank you for the gifts.”
I blurted out thanks first thing. Laughter flowed softly through the receiver. I grinned like an idiot, running my fingers over the new fabric. It felt incredible.
“I gave you an old house, but you’re giving me a new one, aren’t you? No matter how I look at it, this seems like a loss for you...”
I tried to think what I’d ever given him. Nothing but worthless scraps. A drink. A cup of tea. Cold sweet-and-sour pork — he hadn’t even taken a full bite.
Even my body was the same. Sure, he was my first man, but that didn’t change the fact I was already worn and used.
“So, do you like them?”
“Even if I’d picked them myself, I wouldn’t have liked them more. I like everything. All of it.”
There wasn’t a single thing I didn’t like. And even if there had been, I would’ve changed my taste to match.
“But I don’t think I can wear these while ✪ Nоvеlіgһt ✪ (Official version) doing deliveries. I’ll save them.”
“Don’t. Wear them comfortably. You can buy more.”
“Just what I got already is...”
The call cut off mid-sentence. I pulled the phone away from my ear.
The power had completely died.
