Boom. Somewhere, a thunder-like sound went off. He craned his neck and looked around, then realized the deafening crash had exploded from his own chest. His heart slammed, pumping blood and spewing heat. His cheeks burned, the skin under his eyes felt hot and prickly, and his ears rang dully, like they did after getting slapped hard across the face.
“......You said you don’t like romance movies.”
“Yes.”
Then how could someone like that say something like that. Haejun tried hard to hide his pounding chest and pretended to be tired, pressing his forehead to the table for no reason. His nape felt like it might split open. Lee Kangjoo seemed to have a god-given talent for seducing people. More than him, who’d made a living doing exactly that his whole life.
“Can I borrow that line you just used? I think it’d work really well on customers.”
“We agreed you wouldn’t take other customers when you’re with me.”
“Later. Much later.”
The heat wouldn’t go down, so he pressed the PET bottle to his face. Even then, he couldn’t bring himself to meet Lee Kangjoo’s eyes. This had never ◈ Nоvеlіgһт ◈ (Continue reading) happened with customers. Even when he took his first client—sure, he’d been nervous in bed, but his heart hadn’t raced like this.
This felt closer to fear. Like looking down from an impossibly high place—his vision swam, his heart went cold.
“Were you flustered?”
At the ambush question, Haejun jolted. The face he’d finally managed to cool heated right back up. He covered his mouth with one hand and turned his head. Not knowing where to put his gaze, his eyes darted everywhere like the blanket tumbling inside the washing machine.
“No.”
He finally answered. Even though his expression was saying something else. Feeling that mismatch himself, Haejun scrubbed at his face with both hands like he was about to peel the skin off.
“I was just caught off guard.”
“Ah.”
He fanned his face to chase away the residual heat. He wanted to change the subject, but that one line—calling him a hobby—kept his thoughts stuck. Deciding it was better to keep his mouth shut until he calmed down, Haejun stared at the washer. The blanket that had been rolling around was now thoroughly soaked.
When the conversation cut off, the shop filled only with the mechanical hum of the washer and the steady thump of fabric hitting its ridges. The regular noise was like a lullaby.
Standing there all wound up, Haejun’s head began to bob. He’d grabbed some shut-eye at Yohan’s place, but it hadn’t been anywhere near enough to shake the fatigue. At some point, his eyes closed completely.
Then his head tipped toward the table with a dull thud. Just before impact, Lee Kangjoo reached out. Haejun’s small head settled into his large palm.
Startled, Haejun straightened his upper body. With eyes half-lidded from sleep, he looked down.
“Thank you.”
If it hadn’t been Lee Kangjoo, he would’ve ended up with a lump on his forehead. He sat up straight, but within minutes he slid again.
This time, he leaned his head into Lee Kangjoo’s palm on his own. Like finding a comfortable spot, he rubbed his cheek against the fixed palm, then rested there. If he’d been fully awake, he would’ve jumped up immediately, but right now, with sleep weighing him down, finding somewhere to doze off came first.
“I’m just really sleepy. I’ll borrow it for a bit. Thank you.”
An incredulous laugh dropped from above his head. Even so, Haejun’s eyelids wouldn’t lift. The palm cradling his cheek was impossibly warm and soft.
* * *
He was getting through each day on energy drinks, but with his sleep wrecked every night, how could the fatigue ever recover. Shadows deepened under Haejun’s eyes, and his head kept drooping like a sick chick.
On days it got unbearable, he’d steal a blissful nap at Yohan’s place, but that was only ever a temporary fix. As someone who’d always made sure to get proper sleep even while working as a host, it was nothing short of torture.
He hadn’t even logged ten hours of sleep over the past week. Every dawn, the sounds of walls being pounded or the doorbell ringing never stopped. If he ignored it, the guy would keep pressing it until he answered. Even when someone came out into the hallway yelling for him to knock it off and a fight broke out, the crazy bastard next door stayed laser-focused on Haejun.
“Why don’t you just fuck him up.”
Easy to say. With eyes half-closed, Haejun looked at Yohan. Deciding even those few seconds of staying awake were a waste, he shut his eyes fully and drifted into a light doze—while still answering diligently.
“I want to. But I don’t want to cause trouble. The place isn’t even in my name. What if the cops show up?”
“So what. You’re the victim. If it really bothers you, want me to go help?”
“No. I’m not sending you to jail.”
“I won’t kill him. I’ll just pretend to get hit a few times and lie down like ‘fuck it.’”
He waved his hand at Yohan, who was seriously contemplating self-harm blackmail. This was something Haejun had to deal with himself.
A couple days ago, the building manager had come by. He’d cleared his throat awkwardly in front of Haejun, saying they kept getting complaints about noise.
“Noise.”
Haejun muttered in disbelief. The manager looked uncomfortable too.
“I hate having to say this, but if the complaints keep coming in, what can I do. Please try to be mindful.”
“Maybe.”
Careful not to let the psycho hear, Haejun quietly pointed toward the next door with his finger. The manager glanced over and nodded. Taking in Haejun, who clearly hadn’t slept, and the neighboring unit piled high with trash like empty boxes, he seemed to grasp the situation and looked at Haejun with pity.
“Yes. I understand.”
After seeing the manager off, Haejun tiptoed back in, sat on the sofa, making sure not to make any noise. His insides boiled. It was enough to drive anyone insane.
The crazy bastard had sharp instincts—when Lee Kangjoo was around, he stayed dead quiet, then the moment he left, somehow knowing, he’d start pounding the walls without warning. The fact that he picked his targets made it even more infuriating.
He was doing his best to avoid confrontation, but—
Just as drowsiness washed over him and he slipped for a second, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Startled, he opened his eyes. Delivery calls were set to ring, so this notification was from someone else.
“.......”
When he checked the sender, a flush bloomed on Haejun’s pale cheeks. Yohan cracked one eye open and looked at him like that was interesting. Even so, Haejun couldn’t stop the grin spreading across his face.
“What’s with you.”
“What?”
“Why’s your face like that.”
“What’s wrong with my face.”
He checked his reflection in the side mirror. His skin was a bit rough from lack of sleep these past few days, but it was still passable. Not totally satisfied, he fussed with his messy hair, trying to look at least a little better.
“You look like shit. That idiot grin pisses me off.”
“Why’re you picking a fight.”
Yohan tilted his head, sucked in a breath. Before he could say anything else, Haejun cut in first.
“I’m gonna rest at your place for a bit.”
“Why bother saying that. Just go.”
“Still, I should let the homeowner know.”
He clasped his hands politely at his navel and bowed. Yohan snorted, saying he was unbelievable. After dropping a bit of fake charm, Haejun slipped his head into his helmet. As he put his foot on the pedal, Yohan called out from behind him.
“Cha Haejun.”
He turned around. Yohan had his hands in his pockets, looking Haejun straight in the eyes, serious.
“Just in case—don’t catch feelings for a customer.”
“What bullshit are you talking about.”
“Keep customers as customers. Don’t cross the line.”
“You hungry or something? You’re saying weird shit.”
“You don’t seem in the headspace to talk right now. Go sleep. Let’s grab a drink later.”
Yohan waved him off, telling him to get lost. Haejun gave a flat smile and twisted the handlebars. Yohan had definitely skipped a meal—otherwise there was no way he’d be spouting nonsense like that.
Feelings for a customer, my ass. That had never happened. And yet, strangely, his grip tightened. An anxiety he couldn’t name crept up, little by little.
“No way.”
He forced out a laugh and let the thought slip away with it. If he got distracted and had an accident, a massive sinkhole would open up in his bank account. Better to focus on driving.
* * *
It was a night he was finally spending with Lee Kangjoo again. He’d stopped by the house a few times lately, but it’d mostly been wholesome meetups—eating a meal, going to the coin laundry.
This time would be different. Or rather, he hoped it wouldn’t. Haejun hadn’t forgotten his role. Give his body, get paid. Lee Kangjoo wasn’t running a charity, and slacking off while taking these material benefits went against even Haejun’s shallow sense of professionalism.
Everything was for Lee Kangjoo. Not for indulging some unresolved sexual desire of his own.
Looking haggard from lack of sleep, Haejun went home early, washed himself thoroughly, and put real effort into getting ready. He put his hair up, then down; threw on a shirt, then changed into a clean T-shirt, wrestling with his reflection for a long time. The way he busied his hands was no different from a male bird desperately trying to get chosen by a female.
But nothing satisfied him. For just a moment, he missed the days he went to work wearing a suit like a uniform.
