Surviving Zombies Was Easier Than Raising Beast Cubs

Chapter 81: Chapter 81: You have been glaring at roasted meat for half the day

Content Warning: This Chapter contains mature sexual content, strong language, and emotional themes. Reader discretion is advised.

"You are doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Becoming quiet and pretending nothing is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong."

Swanly folded her arms.

"You have been glaring at roasted meat for half the day."

"I was cooking it."

"You cooked it hours ago."

Kael looked away.

Swanly stepped closer.

"Why do you treat every male from my past as if he can steal me?"

His jaw tightened.

"Nerin does not hide what he wants."

"I did not ask what Nerin wants."

"You should."

"No. I am asking what is wrong with you."

Kael’s golden eyes snapped toward her.

"Because you loved Arion before."

The words burst out of him.

"Nerin knew you before. Soren sees things inside you that I cannot. Sometimes I feel like I am the only male beside you who knows the least."

Swanly stared at him.

"You know me now."

"Do I?"

Her expression changed.

Kael dragged one hand through his black hair.

"You say you will never go back. It is easy for you to say that because you do not remember."

"So you think I will suddenly remember Arion and leave?"

"I do not know!"

His voice struck the cave walls.

Swanly flinched.

Kael’s anger cracked instantly, but the pain beneath it remained.

"You used to wait for him every day," he said more quietly. "Even after I brought you away."

Swanly said nothing.

"You asked when Arion would come for you. When I brought food, you threw it outside because it came from me."

His eyes reddened.

"You called me a filthy wandering male. You said I had trapped you. You said carrying my mark made you feel dirty."

Swanly’s hand moved unconsciously toward the mating mark on her ribs.

Kael saw it.

His voice became rougher.

"When the cubs were born, you would not look at them."

Pain twisted through her chest.

"I placed them beside you because they were crying for milk. You turned toward the wall."

"Kael..."

"You pushed Kairo away when he crawled toward you. You said his face reminded you that Arion would never take you back."

Swanly’s eyes burned.

"Nilo used to lie near your feet without making a sound because he thought if he was quiet enough, you might let him stay."

Kael swallowed.

"Miko kept licking your hand because he wanted you to touch him. You pulled away every time."

Swanly covered her mouth.

She had not done those things.

But this body had.

These cubs had felt them.

Kael had lived through every moment.

"I slept with them against my chest because they cried whenever they smelled you," he continued. "I told them you were tired. I told them one day you would love them."

His eyes shone.

"I did not know whether I was lying to them... or to myself."

Swanly felt like someone had punched her in the chest. The guilt was suffocating. This wasn’t her. But it was her body. Her cubs. Her mate who had carried all of it alone.

She stepped forward.

Kael moved back, one hand raised like he couldn’t bear her closeness right now.

"Can you at least trust me?" she asked.

"I am trying."

"It does not feel like it."

"Because trying does not erase everything!"

The words tore out of him.

Then silence fell.

Kael looked away.

When he spoke again, his voice had become small.

"I am not even frightened for myself."

Swanly’s anger disappeared.

He pressed one fist against his chest.

"I survived you hating me before. I could survive it again."

His throat tightened.

"But our cubs..."

His eyes finally spilled over.

One tear slid down his scarred cheek.

"What if you remember and look at them the way you did before?"

Swanly crossed the space between them.

She wrapped both arms around him.

Kael resisted for one heartbeat.

Then he broke.

His arms crushed around her waist.

He buried his face against her neck, breathing as if he had been holding the air inside his lungs for years.

"There is no what if," Swanly whispered.

Kael’s fingers tightened in her hair.

"It is you and me. It is our cubs. I am not going backward."

"You cannot promise what memories will do."

"I can promise what I will do."

She pulled back enough to see him.

She caught a fistful of his long black hair and pulled his head down until their foreheads touched.

His golden eyes widened.

"I chose you after I woke," she whispered fiercely. "Not Arion. Not Nerin. Not anyone standing outside Riverbone."

Kael stared at her.

"I chose the annoying black panther who burns his hands, growls at everyone, especially every male who looks at me, and pouts when another male looks at me or even breathes in my direction."

"I do not pout."

"You are ruining the moment."

His mouth almost moved.

Almost.

Then his expression became serious again.

"I chose the male who held our cubs when I couldn’t. The male who still looks at me like I’m the only thing that matters even when I’m covered in blood and screaming at him."

Kael’s breath hitched.

Her voice dropped, husky.

"So stop doubting me. I’m here. I’m yours."

Kael stared at her for one heartbeat.

"Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"What you said before everyone."

Swanly pretended to think.

Kael’s arms tightened.

"Swanly."

She smiled.

He growled.

She leaned closer until her lips brushed his.

"That you are my one and only mate?"

His breath stopped.

"Yes," she whispered. "I meant it."

Then he snapped.

Kael kissed her.

Hard.

Like he was drowning and she was air.

One arm locked around her waist, yanking her flush against him. The other slid behind her head and into her hair, fisting it tight enough to sting.

His mouth was hot, demanding, almost punishing as he devoured her, his tongue sliding against hers and his teeth nipping her lower lip until she moaned into his mouth.

Swanly stumbled backward until her back hit the sleeping furs, dragging him down with her. Her legs wrapped around his hips.

Kael growled low in his throat, the sound vibrating through her chest.

His mouth moved from her lips to her jaw, then down her neck.

"Kael..."

His hand found the edge of her clothing and shoved beneath her hide top, his palm hot and rough against her skin as he palmed her breast. His thumb circled her nipple until it hardened.

"Mine," he snarled against her mouth, breaking the kiss only to trail his lips down her throat.

He sucked hard on the sensitive spot just below her ear, his tongue flicking and teeth grazing.

Swanly arched with a broken moan, her nails digging into his shoulders.

"Kael... fuck..."

He moved lower, shoving her top up.

His voice brushed against her skin.

"Mine."

Kael lowered his head and pressed a slow kiss over the mating mark on her ribs.

Heat rushed through Swanly so quickly that the apocalypse, Riverbone, Selka, and every infected creature in the forest disappeared from her mind.

"Possessive beast."

He kissed the mark a second time.

Then his mouth closed over it, hot, wet, and possessive. He sucked hard, his tongue swirling over the sensitive skin while his hand slid down to grip her ass, pulling her tighter against the thick, hard length of him pressing between her thighs.

Swanly moaned louder, her hips rolling up against him instinctively.

Heat flooded between her legs.

She wanted him inside her.

Right now.

Deep and rough and...

"Mama!"

A tiny voice shattered the air.

Both froze.

Miko’s face appeared at the cave entrance, his golden eyes huge.

"Mama... Papa eating Mama stomach?"

Kael cursed under his breath, his voice rough with frustration.

Swanly nearly launched him across the cave.

"No!"

Kael caught himself on one hand.

Miko gasped.

"Kairo! Nilo! Papa biting Mama stomach!"

Three cubs’ heads appeared at the cave entrance, giggling wildly.

Kairo looked alarmed, then pointed.

"Papa biting Mama!"

Nilo looked thoughtful and tilted his head.

"Mama making happy noise?"

The smallest clapped.

"Again! Do again!"

Kael closed his eyes.

Swanly grabbed the nearest fur and threw it toward the entrance.

"Out!"

The three cubs vanished, still giggling wildly.

Swanly threw another fur over herself and Kael, then buried her burning face against his chest.

Kael groaned, still hard against her thigh and breathing raggedly.

"This is why I want a bigger cave," he muttered.

Then the system appeared directly above Swanly’s face.

Its pale-gold wings moved slowly.

It was not laughing.

That alone made Swanly’s smile disappear.

{Host.}

What?

{Riverbone still needs to migrate.}

Swanly went still.

Her face darkened.

The system never reminded her twice about a task unless it had become necessary.

Kael noticed immediately.

He lifted his head.

"What is wrong?"