Surviving the Apocalypse With My Yandere Ex-Girlfriend

Chapter 237: You can’t save anyone , can you?

The courtyard had quieted.

Not completely.

The baseline infected still writhed against the reinforced fencing, laughing without rhythm, jaws snapping at empty air while ropes and hooked restraints kept them from throwing themselves forward.

The echoes of the earlier struggle still lingered.

Blood darkened the frozen dirt.

Carl stood in the middle of it.

His hands were stained crimson.

The hoe he had used lay several feet away where someone had kicked it aside.

Nobody spoke.

Not immediately.

Miriam’s eyes rested on Carl with an expression that somehow unsettled me more than rage ever could.

She looked...

Disappointed.

Around her, the intelligent infected shifted.

Some folded their arms.

Others stared openly.

One woman clicked her tongue beneath her breath.

Another shook his head.

There wasn’t satisfaction on their faces.

There wasn’t excitement.

There was disgust.

Hatred.

My stomach twisted.

...

Hatred?

For him?

No.

No, that wasn’t right.

If anyone had earned the right to hate...

It was us.

It was the people who’d watched cities burn.

Who’d buried friends.

Who’d spent years sleeping with one eye open because of things like them.

Carl hadn’t done anything except survive.

Before I could even process another thought, one of the infected stepped forward and seized Carl by the shoulder.

Carl flinched.

Not because it hurt.

Because instinct told him to.

That was enough.

I moved.

Or at least—

I tried to.

Reta caught me before I’d taken a full step.

One arm hooked beneath mine.

The other wrapped around my chest.

She locked my elbows against my ribs with practiced ease.

"Oh..."

Her lips brushed the side of my ear.

"Bad doggy."

My jaw clenched so hard it hurt.

I drove my weight backward.

She slid half a step through the dirt but didn’t let go.

Strong.

Far stronger than she looked.

"LET HIM GO!"

My voice ripped across the compound.

Every head turned.

"YOU FUCKING MANIACS!"

Carl looked toward me.

His breathing had become shallow.

His face looked almost gray beneath the grime coating it.

"He didn’t do anything wrong!"

I shoved against Reta again.

Nothing.

She only laughed quietly behind me.

"I liked you better unconscious."

Miriam finally turned.

Not hurriedly.

Not angrily.

Simply...

turned.

Her eyes settled on mine.

"Adrian."

Her voice remained almost conversational.

"What do you think keeps a society together?"

I stared at her.

For a second, I honestly thought I’d misheard.

"What?"

"What," she repeated softly, "keeps civilization from collapsing?"

Silence settled over the yard.

Even the infected seemed quieter.

She folded her hands neatly behind her back.

"Is it architecture?"

She slowly looked toward the walls surrounding the compound.

"The buildings?"

"No."

Her gaze shifted toward the machinery stacked near the barns.

"The technology?"

Again...

"No."

She looked back at me.

"It is restraint."

Her words were measured.

"It is rules."

"It is the willingness to deny one’s own impulses for something greater than oneself."

I barked a laugh.

Short.

Bitter.

"That’s fucking rich."

I jerked violently against Reta again.

She only tightened her grip.

"Coming from people like you."

Miriam didn’t react.

Not even a flicker.

Instead...

She asked quietly,

"Have you seen a single intelligent infected kill one of the baseline?"

The question caught me off guard.

I frowned.

My eyes drifted around the courtyard almost against my own will.

The baseline infected...

They were restrained.

Pinned.

Dragged away.

Some still laughed.

Some screamed.

Some chewed uselessly against leather restraints around their mouths.

One slammed his forehead repeatedly against a fence post while two intelligent infected calmly held him still.

Another had both wrists tied together behind his back while someone wrapped fresh bandages around a bite wound he’d given himself.

None of them...

Were dead.

Not one.

Miriam watched me realize it.

"We feed them."

She spoke quietly enough that everyone had to listen.

"We shelter them."

"We protect them from people who would butcher them simply because they are inconvenient."

Her eyes shifted toward Carl.

"They cannot help what they are."

"They are sick."

"They are frightened."

"They are ours."

I felt something hot rise inside my chest.

"You enslaved them."

The words came out before I could stop them.

"You’ve got people working until they collapse."

"You’ve got children converting because they’re starving."

"You’ve built a prison and painted it like paradise."

Several infected glared at me.

One took a step forward.

Miriam lifted a single finger.

He stopped immediately.

"I had one rule."

She ignored everything I’d said.

Only one.

"Do not kill our brothers and sisters."

She slowly walked toward Carl.

Not threateningly.

Almost...

Sadly.

"And dear Carl..."

She stopped only a few feet from him.

"...has broken that rule."

She glanced down.

Blood still covered his hands.

"Twice."

Carl couldn’t meet her eyes.

His shoulders had begun trembling.

Not dramatically.

Not enough for anyone else to notice.

Enough for me.

Cold sweat slid down the side of his face despite the freezing air.

He swallowed.

Nothing came out.

Miriam turned back toward me.

"You know what happens now."

It wasn’t a question.

Something inside me snapped.

"No."

My voice cracked.

I didn’t care.

"No."

The word came out louder.

"You don’t get to touch him."

"You don’t get to decide—"

Reta wrenched my arms farther behind my back.

Pain shot through both shoulders.

I barely noticed.

"Miriam."

My breathing had become uneven.

"Don’t."

For the first time since I’d met her...

Miriam smiled.

It wasn’t cruel.

It wasn’t triumphant.

Somehow...

That made it worse.

"I was hoping," she said softly, "that you would understand why justice must be seen."

She looked back toward Carl.

"So everyone remembers..."

"...that compassion without order..."

Her smile disappeared.

"...is only another road to extinction."

My panic only grew when I saw Miriam walk toward one of the infected.

She didn’t reach for a blade.

She didn’t reach for restraints.

She reached for a pistol.

A heavy, matte-black handgun resting inside the holster of one of the intelligent infected standing nearby.

The infected immediately offered it to her with both hands.

Almost reverently.

My stomach dropped.

No.

No...

She wasn’t—

You couldn’t cut fingers off with a gun.

This wasn’t punishment.

This was—

I snapped.

Every muscle in my body exploded at once.

"What are you doing?!"

Miriam never looked at me.

She calmly checked the chamber.

A metallic click echoed through the room.

Behind me, Reta tightened her grip.

I drove my elbow backward as hard as I could.

Bone cracked against bone.

She grunted.

For the first time—

Her grip loosened.

I tore free.

"Adrian—"

Someone shouted.

I didn’t care who.

I lunged.

Three steps.

That was all I managed.

A body slammed into my side.

The floor disappeared beneath me.

The ground smashed into my shoulder.

Air exploded from my lungs.

Before I could recover, another weight crashed onto my back.

Then another.

Hands.

Everywhere.

Holding my wrists.

My legs.

My neck.

"No!"

I bucked violently.

My forehead scraped against the concrete.

Warm blood immediately ran into my eyebrow.

Still—

I kept fighting.

A hand grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head backward.

Reta.

She leaned close enough that I could feel her breath against my ear.

"That hurt, you know."

She almost sounded offended.

I threw my head backward.

The back of my skull caught her square in the nose.

A crunch.

She hissed.

Blood splashed across my shoulder.

"Fucking—"

She drove my face into the concrete.

Hard.

Stars burst across my vision.

My teeth slammed together.

I tasted blood immediately.

Still—

I screamed.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

My voice cracked so violently it barely sounded human.

Across the field—

Carl was forced onto his knees.

One infected held each arm.

He didn’t fight.

He simply looked down at the floor.

Like the strength had quietly left him.

Miriam stepped in front of him.

Raised the pistol.

Placed the barrel gently against the center of his forehead.

Not aggressively.

Not dramatically.

Almost...

Mercifully.

Something inside me shattered.

"No..."

The word came out broken.

"Miriam..."

She didn’t answer.

"Miriam!"

I slammed both knees beneath me.

The infected holding me nearly lost their balance.

I kept pushing.

Kept clawing.

Kept trying.

"I’ll do it!"

The words tore themselves out of my throat before I even thought about them.

"I’ll do whatever the fuck you want!"

Nothing.

"I’ll stay!"

Still nothing.

"I’ll help you!"

Miriam’s expression never changed.

"I’ll help you with whatever the fuck your plan is!"

She remained perfectly still.

"Just—"

My voice collapsed.

"Please..."

The room blurred.

"Please don’t..."

I couldn’t breathe.

White-hot tears burned the corners of my eyes.

Not sadness.

Pain.

The kind that squeezed every organ inside your body until breathing became work.

"I’ll kill infected."

"I’ll hunt for you."

"I’ll never run again."

"I’ll never fight you."

"I’ll..."

I swallowed hard.

"...I’ll even hate him if that’s what you want."

Carl looked up.

Slowly.

Our eyes met.

His face was pale.

Sweat rolled down his temple despite the cold.

But somehow—

He smiled.

Not because he was happy.

Because he saw what I was doing.

Because he knew I was bargaining.

Trying to trade pieces of myself for him.

His smile trembled.

"Adrian..."

His voice barely carried.

"...Stop."

"No!"

My scream echoed through the compound.

"No!"

Reta shoved my face harder into the floor.

Concrete bit into my cheek.

My left eye was crushed sideways against the ground until it almost refused to open.

It hurt to cry.

Every tear scraped across the skin beneath it like broken glass.

"I said stop."

Carl’s voice came again.

Calm.

Almost...

Comforting.

"You’ve always..."

He laughed once through his nose.

"...been too damn stubborn."

I shook my head violently.

"No."

"You don’t get to..."

Another breath.

"...carry everybody."

"No!"

"You couldn’t save Lila."

My body froze.

"You couldn’t save Texas."

My throat closed.

"You couldn’t save Canada."

Every word landed like another bullet.

"And that..."

He looked directly at me.

"...was never your fault."

Silence swallowed the room.

Carl inhaled one final time.

Then turned his head slightly toward Miriam.

"I’m ready."

My entire body convulsed.

"No!"

I screamed so hard my throat tore.

"CARL!"

The pistol never wavered.

The infected around us stood perfectly still.

Even the baseline infected beyond the barricades had gone strangely quiet.

Waiting.

Watching.

My nails clawed desperately across the concrete until they bent backward.

Blood pooled beneath my fingertips.

I couldn’t reach him.

Couldn’t move.

Couldn’t save him.

Not again.

Not another person.

Not another—

Miriam squeezed the trigger.

The gunshot exploded through the field.