Chapter 22: Chapter 22: "I Only Want You, I Only Have You
She noticed Lu Juan, who stood to the side, his eyes glued to her older sister.
Ji Qingwu asked, "Brother-in-law, what are your thoughts on the serving girls and concubines in your chambers?"
At her words, Lu Juan turned to Ji Qingwu.
Her eyes were bright, the aggressive air from before gone. Her expression had softened, as clear and serene as a crescent moon in the night sky.
’And she was even calling him Brother-in-law so softly again.’
A helpless look flickered in Lu Juan’s eyes. ’It seems my playing deaf and dumb earlier wasn’t a complete waste.’
’He’d certainly gotten a taste of his fifth sister-in-law’s temper today.’
He spoke directly, without a hint of hesitation. "I agree with what Qingwu said. What does it matter if we have no heirs? I have Qingrong, and that is more than enough."
His words were firm and resolute.
The Grand Dowager looked as if she were about to explode. She weakly set down her brush and pounded her chest.
Ji Qingwu, like a taskmaster, wouldn’t let her slack off. "Grand Dowager, please write faster. The sun is about to set."
The veins on the Grand Dowager’s hand bulged. She was writing with such force it seemed the words, each one like a dagger, might tear through the paper.
Lu Juan’s steady, affectionate voice reached Ji Qingrong’s ears, and she jolted, snapping back to her senses completely.
The Princely Heir was an expert at seizing the moment. Seeing her expression soften, he strode over and took her hand before she could pull away.
"Ah Rong."
Ji Qingrong tried to pull away, but his large hand only gripped hers tighter.
Lu Juan had originally intended to wait for Ji Qingrong to come to her own conclusions. He had already waited for three years.
But the moment he saw his wife’s red-rimmed eyes, all his resolve crumbled.
His Adam’s apple bobbed. In a low voice, he explained, "Ah Rong, I spoke carelessly. I only misled my mother back then because I wanted to marry you as soon as possible. It caused this whole misunderstanding. I’m so sorry for making you endure all of this. I’ve wronged you."
It was such a direct explanation and apology.
As a member of the bride’s family, Ji Qingwu instantly felt her anger subside.
’But she wondered what her sister’s state of mind was.’
Ji Qingrong didn’t know whether to believe him, and she found herself staring blankly at his lips.
Seeing her dazed expression, Lu Juan pulled her hand and pressed it against his chest. "Ah Rong," he said, his voice thick with emotion, "do you remember that snowy day three years ago?"
Three years ago. A snowy day.
Ji Qingrong’s pupils trembled.
That was the day Luo Chi, the second son of the Assistant Minister of Rites, was supposed to visit the Ji Mansion to discuss their marriage. But fate intervened; due to the heavy snow, his carriage broke down on the road.
The plan was to meet with Luo Chi the next day, once the weather cleared. If both sides were satisfied, the marriage would be settled.
But the next day...
The man from her memory merged with the image of Lu Juan standing before her.
Early the next morning, a younger version of the Princely Heir of Marquis Zhongyong Mansion had appeared at the Ji Family’s main gate with a matchmaker and betrothal gifts in tow. He announced he was there to propose, stunning the entire household.
Lu Juan gently squeezed her hand. "Ah Rong, I know my recklessness scared you back then. But you still agreed, because I said—"
He gazed at Ji Qingrong, his eyes full of emotion.
He repeated the words: "I want only you. I will have only you."
It was that promise that had moved Ji Qingrong’s heart.
She, who had grown up pampered by her mother, had married into the Marquis Mansion to become a wife of the Lu Family. All the hardships and grievances of the past few years flashed before her eyes.
They gazed at each other, saying nothing. The atmosphere was so thick with emotion that Ji Qingwu wished she had a handful of flower petals to toss over them.
She turned to the Grand Dowager with a broad smile. "Grand Dowager, if you haven’t finished writing, we can move to the study next door. We shouldn’t disturb them."
The Grand Dowager’s face was a livid shade of purple. Having heard her son lay his heart bare, she was chilled to the bone.
She snorted, tossed the written agreement at Ji Qingwu, and stormed out of Ninghua Hall.
Ji Qingwu, seeming to have an idea, also called for Xin’er and left.
The husband and wife were left alone in the room.
Lu Juan lowered his head and stroked her dark hair.
"Ah Rong."
His sigh was so gentle it brought an instant mist to Ji Qingrong’s eyes.
Like a deeply wronged child, she threw herself into Lu Juan’s arms and sobbed, soaking the front of his brocade robe with her tears.
She wept and accused him, "You said you would have only me, but you didn’t do it! You have concubines and serving girls! You lied to me!"
This was the first time Lu Juan had ever seen Ji Qingrong so fiercely unrestrained.
"Mother forced them on me," he said, his tone full of innocence. "I swear I haven’t laid a single finger on any of them."
Lu Juan cupped her face, his expression serious. "Ah Rong, if you were unhappy, you should have said something. When Mother sent those women over, you were the one who insisted on acting magnanimous and accepting them. Do you have any idea how I felt when I came home to that news?"
At the time, his expression had been blacker than the bottom of a pot.
She had so easily broken the promise he made to her, and his resentment had festered for a long time.
After she finished crying, a belated sense of shame crept in. She replied in a small voice, "What was I supposed to say? I still haven’t conceived, and the entire mansion is watching. You can’t imagine the pressure I’m under."
"Ah Rong, what do you take me for?"
Lu Juan squeezed her soft cheek and finally said the words he had kept buried in his heart for so long.
"I am your husband. When you face trouble, I want you to rely on me, to trust me. But you’ve never once spoken up."
Lu Juan’s men reported the daily events of Ninghua Hall to him. He knew every difficulty Ji Qingrong encountered in the mansion and had even prepared solutions for her.
But she was too stubborn; she never mentioned a single thing to him.
Ji Qingrong was beginning to understand why Lu Juan was so moody at times.
’So it was because I never confided in him? Does he really care that much about my every word and action?’
Her heart felt as if a jar of honey had just overturned within it.
But she still put on a brave face. "The first time you got angry with me, you stayed mad for a very long time. I was afraid that if I said too much, I’d just anger you again and damage our marriage."
Hearing her turn the tables on him, Lu Juan remembered what had made him so angry that time.
Lu Yun and Ji Qingrong had argued over a hairpin. Lu Yun was young, but her temper was not. She was thoroughly spoiled by the Grand Dowager and insisted on getting everything she wanted.
But the hairpin was part of Ji Qingrong’s dowry and held special meaning for her, so she refused to give it up.
Lu Yun had pushed her, then ran to the Grand Dowager to complain, completely twisting the truth and getting Ji Qingrong reprimanded.
Before Lu Juan had even reached home, one of his men had reported the entire incident to him. The first thing he did upon his return was go to Lu Yun’s courtyard and give his sister a harsh lecture, threatening to send her to a convent for a few years if she ever disrespected her sister-in-law again.
When he returned to Ninghua Hall, Ji Qingrong greeted him with a beaming smile. If it weren’t for her red, swollen eyes, her facade would have been perfect.
All the comforting words Lu Juan had prepared were rendered useless.
Husband and wife: the closest of kin, yet the furthest of strangers.
’She had never once treated him as someone she could rely on.’
From that day on, Lu Juan and Ji Qingrong had been locked in a battle of wills. He was determined to wait for her to be the one to yield, and so they had spent three awkward, frustrating years.
"Ah Rong."
"I regret it."
