Chapter 207: Not On The Mailing List
"Fine," replied Jun Li, still in my head. "Then shit has not hit the fan yet, everything is fine, but the head of the Uugazt fleet is trying to get a hold of you. I’ll have two cups of coffee waiting for you at the captain’s chair. Chop chop, time to get a move on."
I moaned and buried myself under GA, not caring if he was uncomfortable. I was not in the mood to deal with anything today. My period was still kicking my ass; I was cranky, bloated, and probably incapable of pleasant conversation. All I wanted to do was stay in my nest, put on something to watch, and veg.
Why was it that living in space, with no work or obligations of any kind, was busier and more stressful than having a full-time job at the university? This was bullshit.
"We can deal with whatever is upsetting you," said Da’kea, rising up onto one elbow and looking at me. "Just let us know."
"Jun Li said that the orc is calling, and that shit has hit the fan," I grumbled, not at all caring if I was making sense or not. It was too early in the morning to deal with the end of the world crap.
There was a pause, and four men turned to Midnight to see if he could offer up an explanation.
"Raguk, the head of the Uugazt pirates, has called, and apparently, things aren’t going well," translated Midnight, but I was pretty sure that was what I had said.
Letting out another moan and promising myself that I could climb right back into the nest as soon as I was done with the orc, I got up and threw on a long skirt and sweater. There was no way in hell I was getting into my uniform for this meeting.
The men were already on the command bridge by the time I had made it out of my quarters; I could hear the low drone of their voices as they talked to each other. I couldn’t make out their words, but there was something comforting just knowing that they were there.
I had made it a few steps down the hallway when I was stopped by one of the cute little bots. It held up a travel mug in both of its hands and looked up at me. Taking the cup, I brought it to my nose. Coffee. The fucker had actually had one of the bots get me a cup of coffee. I couldn’t decide if I was pissed about it or happy.
The bot spun around and disappeared into the wall, but not before waving to me.
In a much better mood, I entered the bridge and went to sit down in my chair. GA was quick to put one of the furs over my legs as I curled them under me. Taking a sip of my coffee, I looked up at the camera in the corner.
"This is only one," I said, holding up my cup.
"Ah, but I discovered that it is after 1pm in almost half of Earth right now, so right now, it is after 1pm, and you have a cup of coffee. Enjoy!" laughed the AI, not at all hiding the fact that he was having fun at my expense.
I narrowed my eyes before turning my attention to the screen in front of me. "Fine, let’s get this over and done with." Within seconds, the video feed was linked, and I was staring at the same orc as last time. What did Midnight call him? Raguk?
"Who are you?" demanded the orc, staring at me like he had never seen a female in his life.
"It’s early, and business hours aren’t for a while," I joked, taking a sip of my coffee. "What do you need?"
"You are Merciless?" he asked softly, his eyes widened as he looked me up and down.
"I am," I assured him. "But I am going to assume that you called me this early in the morning for a reason?"
"We have been contacted by the Alliance. In fact, everyone has been contacted by the Alliance. They have let it known that you are an unclaimed female, capable of creating offspring with every known species in the universe. Up to 400."
I sat there and stared at the Uugazt pirate, trying to figure out what he just said. I mean, the words sounded familiar, but for the life of me, I couldn’t understand them.
"The Alliance has told everyone that I am unclaimed and can give them up to 400 offspring, is that what I am hearing?" I asked to clarify.
There was a beep as something was transferred, and Jun Li split the screen between Raguk and the notice from the Alliance. The woman speaking had one of those calming voices. Where even if she was announcing a massacre, people would still smile while she was saying it.
"It has been brought to our attention that the arms dealer known as Merciless, the female responsible for the death of thousands of Sisalik, is a universal breeder and is capable of producing around 400 offspring, depending on how the eggs are fertilized. Since she is unclaimed and has rejected the Alliance on numerous occasions to be claimed, the Alliance is allowing anyone that captures her a chance to access her eggs."
The broadcast then went on to describe how to either fertilize my eggs through intercourse, which hole to enter (because that is important), and how long the gestation time would be based on their research. They have also said that my eggs could be extracted and then provided a link to a video on how to do that. It was stressed that if my captors chose that route, then they would only be given ten eggs. The rest would need to be returned so that the following species could also take their fair share.
I listened to the ten-minute report on me and my body, sipping my coffee the entire time. When it was done, I turned my attention back to the Uugazt. "Thank you for letting me know; apparently, I was not on the mailing list."
