Chapter 100: Chains Of Yesterday
Eve pursed her lips, "The only thing that is different from the academy’s version is that the Dark Lord was sealed deep within some land. But nothing about the celestial beings....or what happened in the duration of their stay on this planet. I wonder...why won’t they want people to know about their saviours?"
"I also wonder why...when they had already mentioned the powerful souls created by the god of fire and goddess of light to protect the land," Ivan murmured.
They both fell silent as their mind circled to the same questions, until Eve thought out loud, "Did they do something forbidden? Is that why people removed them from our history?"
"I would still say it is far too cruel to erase the existence of the very beings who saved this planet from burning until it was nothing but another hell," Ivan scoffed.
"I feel the same," Eve mumbled. Suddenly, she felt her heart react as if she felt an unsettling sense of foreboding wash over her. She lifted her hand to her chest, and Ivan, who clearly heard the change in her heartbeat, shifted his full attention to her.
"What happened?" he asked.
He cupped her cheeks, studying her expression for any sign of distress. She frowned and licked her lips, "I..I don’t know. Suddenly, I had a bad feeling...like something terrible is about to happen."
Ivan was surprised by her words and then softened his gaze, "Nothing bad is going to happen, Eve. I’m here with you," he reassured her while caressing her cheeks with his thumb.
She gulped lightly and gave him a small nod.
"I think you’re just tired. It’s been a long day, and not to forget that you’re still recovering. Why don’t we call it a night?" he asked gently.
"Maybe that’s it," she replied as her eyes darted anxiously from one of his to the other.
"You know...you worry too much." A small smile touched his lips as he gazed into her anxious eyes. "Why don’t you close your eyes and take a deep breath?"
She did as he told her, listening to his deep velvety voice, "Now release it slowly...let the tension leave your body."
As she did, she found herself beginning to relax and wondered if it was because of a simple exercise or was it because Ivan was the one instructing her. Though the unpleasant feeling still troubled her, she chose to push it away, wanting to believe in Ivan’s words that nothing would happen when he was with her.
She opened her blue orbs to meet his red ones, "Better?" he asked her softly.
She gave him a slight nod and murmured, "Thank you."
"Hm." With that, he lay back on the bed and pulled her with him. She sank into the pillow beside him, only for him to wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her incredibly close.
With the flick of his fingers, the lamps next to the bedside snuffed out, leaving a trail of white smoke before mixing into nothingness. Eve gazed deeply into his molten red eyes that silently stared back at her. Her hand which rested on his shoulders moved on its own, tracing the firm lines of his chest muscles as she asked, "Do you...remember us meeting in the past?"
He tightened his grip around her, one hand gliding along the curve of her robed back before he answered, "Unfortunately, no...Do you?"
She shook her head lightly in response, then gave him a small smile, "Though I would have liked to remember a five-year-old Ivan...you must have been a cute child."
"Hm.." he replied absentmindedly, his mind already taken by her gentle smile, with moonlight highlighting her features, through the still un-drawn curtains.
She looked so alluring, and before he knew it, he felt a similar call from her, slowly getting lost in her presence. Yet, he also wanted to learn more about her, so he asked, "Did your parents ever mention me and my family?"
Eve suddenly stiffened at the question; her wandering hands, that were busy exploring the chest, came to an abrupt halt.
But this time, Ivan couldn’t ignore it, "Eve...why do I get a feeling that every time I ask about your family...you.." he paused and asked carefully, "Is it not a good subject for you?"
He saw her vibrant blue eyes start to dull down little by little as she averted her gaze downward, her small smile fading as thought all the energy had been drained from her.
When silence stretched between them, Ivan spoke, "Shall I take your silence as you do not trust me enough to share things with me?"
She shook her head immediately and replied, "No! That’s not it." She slowly dragged her gaze back up to him and parted her lips, "Ivan, I think....if there’s anyone I trust my life with right now...it’s you." Her eyes darted between his as she continued, "However...I-I don’t have a pleasant past to share. You may not want to hear it, and rightly so. And I don’t want you to look at me differently..."
"Differently how?" Ivan asked softly.
She lowered her eyes again and whispered, "With pity....or any of those kinds of emotions."
Ivan’s brows pulled together. "Look at me," he said firmly.
She bit her lower lip, refusing to meet his eyes, until he commanded in a low and unyielding voice, "Look at me, Evelyn."
Slowly, she raised her eyes to him and heard him say, "Do you think of me as someone so shallow to judge someone on the basis of their pasts? Things happen in people’s lives...things that are in no one’s control. But what matters is that those experiences shape you into who you are today, that you still surpassed it and made it to the present."
He sighed, his tone softened, "It’s alright if you’re not ready to tell me, I won’t push you, okay? But you have to know...I will never judge you. I’m definitely the last person who has any right to judge someone’s past."
A cynical smile appeared on his lips as his eyes suddenly became cold and distant, as if he were lost in his own darkness. Eve’s heart squeezed at watching him grow a little more distant..a little more colder, and she wondered what made him say things like that.
Eve wanted to tell Ivan about her past, but the very concept of confiding in someone felt so foreign to her, as she had always been so alone in her life. On top of that, a deeper fear stirred within her; she didn’t want Ivan, of all the people, to look at her with pity.
She couldn’t bear the thought of him seeing her as a disgraceful princess who was abandoned and abused by her own family and lived her entire life in a gilded cage. The fear of being deemed imperfect, broken and unworthy princess in front of this man, who was the very embodiment of strength and an epitome of perfection.
Even though he said he won’t judge her, she still couldn’t bear the possibility of that happening. She liked Ivan...his presence in her life, and she didn’t want to ruin anything or risk ending things too quickly, even if the chance of that happening loomed in the near future. All she wanted was to live freely, to feel free in the moment of freedom she had, away from her caged life. And she wasn’t ready to risk that for anything.
She knew that he must have his very own past, one she knew nothing about, especially with the way he spoke so cynically with that hollow look in his eyes. She was dying to know what it was....to ask him, but she bit her tongue. After all, it would be hypocritical to question him when she herself had revealed nothing to him. She had no right to demand anything that she couldn’t return.
With no words to say, she saw only one way to comfort him and her aching heart. So she leaned towards him, her hands traveling from his chest all the way to his neck before she wrapped around his neck.
"Forgive me, Ivan..." she brought her lips close to his and whispered, "forgive me for not having enough courage to talk about this one subject right now. But I will....maybe one day...just not today."
Ivan wanted to know more about her, to get to know her better, but if she wasn’t ready, then he could only wait until she was. Similar to Eve, he too felt like a hypocrite for asking her about her past when he himself had no intention of revealing his own, a past far too horrible to share.
Ivan, who was lost in his own thoughts, snapped back to the present with a single soothing touch from the woman in his arms. He was left utterly speechless at her attempt to reach out and mend the distance between them. He had to commend her for her way of doing it because it was absolutely working. As she whispered against his lips, he felt that siren’s call once again... the one he simply couldn’t ignore.
He heard her erratic pulse, as her anxious eyes stared at him to respond, and felt her slowly pulling his heart’s strings towards her beautiful, innocent face. So without any further delay he slid his hand around her delicate neck and leaned in to kiss her ever so softly. He closed his eyes, savouring the feel of her petal-soft lips moving against his in slow rhythm.
