Chapter 24: Torn Between
One hour before arrival to the St. Marie Hotel.
Now let me tell you what was going on in my head before I even got to Paul.
Emily had just picked up the girls and I was nervous in a way that surprised me. There was something about Paul that radiated control and what I wanted was to be the one to get under that control. Psychologists will tell you that people who need to control everything were not loved properly as children or have something missing somewhere inside them. The day I saw him at the park I picked up on something that made me want to heal him. I saw the love he had for Tara, pure and uncomplicated, but when I asked why he did not have a girlfriend he became defensive immediately and I recognized a sore spot when I saw one. He gave me the short version of his last relationship but the hurt behind it was unmistakable even through the wall he kept up.
I wondered if anyone had ever given him what he actually needed. He was playful but underneath it I sensed a man who wanted to be met somewhere real. And knowing I was still finding my footing in the experience department I decided I needed to approach this differently. Get into his head first. The body would follow.
He was a player. Lilly had made that clear at the party. I even entertained the thought that if Lilly were a little younger she might have wanted a turn herself and I had to laugh at that mental image. So I did my homework. I researched the art of seduction, took notes on the useful things and shook my head at some of what people actually put on the internet freely and without shame.
The dream with Jacob and Garrett had opened something in me. I was not ready for those two, not by a long stretch, but the dream had unlocked a door inside myself that I was genuinely curious to walk through. I had chosen this life and like my mother always said before the needle took over her better judgment, whatever you decide to do you need to be the absolute best at it.
I had called Marci and asked to look at the men’s profiles more thoroughly. Not just the surface information but what each of them actually craved versus what they actually needed. Two different things entirely. I was not trying to fall in love. I was not looking for anything permanent. But I wanted to leave a lasting impression. I wanted to stand apart.
So I studied until I had headaches. I did more research on these men than on my actual coursework, which was acceptable only because classes had just started and assignments were still light.
Paul’s favorite fruit was apricots. I found an apricot body wash and shampoo that was subtle and not overpowering. Foreplay starts before you are even in the same room. That was one of the things I had learned.
He had sent me a red nightie that could generously be described as a piece of floss. It covered the nipples and the front with semi-transparent panels sewn in while the back left my entire backside completely exposed. I put it on after my shower and the feel of the material against my freshly washed skin actually turned me on before I had gone anywhere. I dismissed the feeling firmly and kept getting dressed.
Over it I wore a tight fitting red dress. Classy. Just above the knee with a small split in the back. Red stilettos that crisscrossed and tied at the ankle. Appropriate enough for daytime, seductive enough for everything I had planned for tonight. Soft red lipstick. When I looked in the mirror a wave of something moved through me that I can only describe as sensual understanding.
Tonight I would play Suga. It was time for her to come out fully. Cadence was the softer side of me, the one who worried and planned and held everything together. Suga was the one who wanted to let go of every last inhibition. The goal tonight was to find the balance between them.
I had thirty minutes to spare. I finished getting ready and headed out just as Ben pulled up.
"Well well well," he said, looking me over as I came down the steps. "Where is sweet little Cadence I was supposed to pick up?"
"She is right here," I said, giving him a small twirl. "Just a little more grown up."
I got in and he closed the door still smiling.
On the drive over I told him about my research and my plan for the evening. He listened with the attention of a man who took me seriously and that meant everything.
"I do not want you breaking any hearts," he said finally. "You are a very attractive woman and men can lose control. Just make sure you can handle them and play by your own rules. Nobody ever said you had to do this job a certain way. You own whatever you decide is best for you."
I smiled at him as he pulled up to the hotel. It was elegant without trying too hard. A doorman stood at the entrance and walked over to my door the moment Ben stopped.
"Good evening Miss."
"Good evening," I said as he looked me over with a very barely concealed appreciation.
"Any luggage?"
"No. I am here to see Mr. Captiville."
A devilish smirk crossed his face. He walked me inside and placed a quiet call. The hotel had been recently renovated from top to bottom and the old world New Orleans character had been preserved throughout. Huge chandeliers. Ornate wall trim. Massive pedestals. The dining room was enormous with china plates on every table and custom wine glasses catching the candlelight. No expense had been spared anywhere.
My father had actually worked on the elevator renovation here years ago. He had told me about a special glass elevator that looked out over the river, controlled entirely by the owner from his suite above. He said the owner was young for someone with that kind of money. Standing here now it occurred to me for the first time that it had been Paul.
"Mr. Captiville will send the elevator down for you," the doorman said. "Down this hall, make a left. It should be waiting."
"Thank you," I said, and began the walk.
The hallway was dark. I made the left. The elevator dinged and opened.
I stood at the entrance and closed my eyes. Took one full slow breath. Let Suga settle into her shoulders.
Then I opened my eyes and stepped in.
The door closed. Nothing happened. I looked around and found myself inside the glass elevator my father had told me about, river view on every side, and in the corner a small screen. The sound was on. I could feel him watching me before I even confirmed it.
Now. It was time.
"Hello stranger," I said, looking directly into the camera. "You look really nice. Did you actually cook me dinner tonight?" I could see the table through the monitor, candlelit, food set out in the middle, looking like something from the hotel dining room downstairs transported upstairs just for us. He turned on the monitor and his face appeared.
And let me tell you, Paul Captiville looking at me through a screen with that particular expression on his face was not something I had entirely prepared for.
But Suga had.
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