Chapter 1: I am a Whore
I was a whore
An expensive whore
And in this line of work, there are only three rules:
One- Have sex
Two. make money
Three. And never, ever fall in love
But guess who fell in love with not just one but two men?
I Candence "SUGA" monetgoaramy
And this is my story
I fell in love with two men who worshiped the folds within my tighs and gave me the most breathtaking orgasms.
Hung my legs above my shoulders and pounded into my cunt until I soaked the beds with my squirt and juice, one made me gag on his huge black cock until I lost my voice and then he licked and worshiped every inch of my body together
But before them, I was bent over the table by ceos who loved the fantasy of fucking their secretary but where too afraid to do so, rode on the dicks of captains till dawn and made them whimper and cry out my name, sucked and licked the bodies of presidents until their wives caught us, switched over, tied their wives and friends up in the dungeon, licked the virginas, fucked them with the cutest dildo I had, and all these for the fattest pay check. It was all a game to me and I was living in it to the fullest.
My small breasts where my greatest assets, firm and perky for the soft lips of my client, my ass was the most expensive cushion in the whole of Atlanta and my pussy was the the gold mine for the strongest men and women.
Hypocrisy was our love language,
Betrayal was normal and cruel acts was very well normalized.
We had to survive and this escort business caved us this way
And then my downfall began, I FELL IN LOVE
I was completely, embarrassingly, devastatingly in love with not one man but two.
Yes. Two.
Before you judge me, let me tell you what they did to me first.
...
The first one was Evan, all quiet and dark and steady. The kind of man who did not need to raise his voice because every room he walked into already knew to pay attention. He was tall dark and handsome and When he looked at me, really looked at me, it felt like being seen for the first time by someone who actually knew how to use their eyes.
He would pick me up slow, push me on the bathroom walls, cup my boobs, slowly massage them until I cried out his name. Just his hands learning my body like he had all the time in the world and intended to use every minute of it.
He worshipped the inside of my thighs with his mouth until my whole body was shaking and when he finally pushed inside me, deep and slow and steady, I stopped being Suga the escort and became something I had forgotten I was.
A woman.
A real one. With feelings and everything.
I know. I know. Trust me I was just as horrified as you are right now.
And the second one? Paul..
The second one hit different. He scared me most times. Looking at him alone made my folds so wet. He was a walking sex god.
Loud where the first was quiet. Fire where the first was warmth. He walked into rooms like he had personally built them and he looked at me the first night we met like I was the only interesting thing in a world full of boring options.
He was not gentle when ravishing me. He did not do slow. He grabbed my hips, bent me over the balcony of the hotel room in Monaco, facing the vast beach and plunged into me like that is what he wanted.
And somehow what he wanted was always exactly what I needed. He made me feel things in my body that I genuinely did not know were available to me. The kind of pleasure that makes your toes curl and your eyes roll back and your brain completely forget that you had rules, goals, a whole entire plan for your life.
Together those two men were the most beautiful disaster I ever walked into with my eyes wide open.
But before them there was a whole life I had to survive first.
But let me back up a little bit because non of this makes any sense without you knowing where I started
Before I was Suga I was just Cadence. A girl from New Orleans holding her whole family together with both hands and tired fingers.
Two little sisters who needed feeding, school fees, clothes, love, stability. A mother who needed saving but kept choosing the needle over everything including us. A father who left so long ago that I stopped being angry and started just being hollow in the place where he used to be.
The light bills. The groceries. The rent. The car fuel. Camp fees for the twins. Private lessons. The family therapist we saw twice and then could no longer afford. I was twenty one years old and I was everybody’s everything and I was running on empty and pretending I was not.
Have you ever been so tired that tired stopped feeling like a feeling and started feeling like just your normal? That was me. Every single day.
I was not built for the life I ended up in. I want you to know that. I was not a girl who dreamed of this. I was a girl who ran out of other options and made a decision in a moment that changed everything.
It all started with a cleaning job.
The Whitfield estate was the biggest house I had ever set foot in. I came in through the back entrance every morning in my uniform, kept my head down, did my work, and minded my business completely. My supervisor was a woman named Ms. Lilly Monroe and she scared me a little if I am being honest. Polished in a way that felt permanent. Quiet in a way that made you feel like she was always thinking three steps ahead of whatever was happening in the room.
I did not know what she did for a living beyond owning half of New Orleans. I did not ask. I just cleaned her floors and went home to my sisters.
And then one night she found me.
And nothing was ever the same again.
I am going to tell you exactly what happened that night. I am going to tell you how a woman in a purple dress and Chanel perfume sat across a mahogany desk and handed me a choice that changed the entire course of my life.
I am going to tell you about Ben, her driver, who became the closest thing to a father I ever had and who called me Suga from the very first day like he already knew who I was going to become.
I am going to tell you all of it.
The rise. The money. The power. The rooms I walked into that most women only dream about.
And then the fall.
Because here is what nobody tells you about falling in love in this business. It does not just break your heart. It breaks everything around it.
Evan and Paul did not just love me quietly and let me carry on with my life. No. These two men, with their money and their pride and their inability to share what they had decided belonged to them, turned my entire world into a battlefield.
Paul threatened to burn Ms. Lilly’s entire operation to the ground if she did not release me from my contract. Evan showed up to a client event I was working, sat down across the room and looked at the man I was entertaining until the man paid his bill, stood up and left without a single word exchanged between them.
Ms. Lilly called me into her office the morning after and told me in her quietest voice, which was always her most dangerous one, that I was the first girl in thirty years of business to make two men lose their minds simultaneously and that I needed to fix it before she fixed it for me.
I lost clients. I lost money. I almost lost my sisters their stability.
And I still could not choose.
Because choosing one meant losing the other and I had spent my whole life losing people and I was tired of it.
This is not just a love story.
This is the story of a woman who built herself from nothing, gave her body to survive and then made the catastrophic mistake of giving her heart away twice at the same time.
So, Are you ready?
Good. Let us begin
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