Chapter 36: You’re Doing So Fucking Good For Us
He couldn’t even finish the sentence.
"I can see that," Nicholas said from his chair. His voice was almost amused. Almost proud. "She’s learning her place. She understands what she is now."
Lucian groaned and pushed deeper, his free hand moving down to her breast through her sweater, squeezing with enough force to make her cry out around his cock.
But then he was leaning down, his mouth against her ear while his cock was still buried in her throat. His breath was hot against her skin.
"I know this is hard," he whispered roughly. His voice was different now, almost tender underneath the intensity. "I know this hurts. I know you’re scared. But you’re doing so good. You’re doing so fucking good for us."
It was almost kind. Brutal and kind all at once. The most dangerous thing he could have said.
She made a sound around him....something between a gag and a sob....and he continued fucking her with intensity, but his hand on her breast gentled. His other hand stroked her hair even as he drove into her throat.
The contradiction was almost worse than pure cruelty would have been. This care mixed with use. This attention to her suffering mixed with the perpetuation of it.
"That’s right," he said. "Make noise. Let us hear you. Let us know what you feel."
His pace became even more frantic. Feral. Like his wolf was right there at the surface, barely contained by skin and will.
He came down her throat with a groan that sounded almost pained, held her head down, forcing her to swallow everything, but his hand in her hair was stroking, almost petting her like she was something precious.
When he finally released her, she collapsed forward on shaking arms, gasping for breath like she’d been drowning.
Which she had been.
"Stand up," Nicholas commanded.
It took her a moment to find her balance. Her legs were shaking. Her throat was raw....she could taste blood mixed with cum and humiliation and the bitter knowledge of what she’d become.
She forced herself to stand, swaying slightly.
Nicholas looked at her...at the cum on her face, the tears streaking down her cheeks, the way she was struggling to remain upright, the marks from previous days still visible on her neck, with those silver eyes that held something complicated. Something that looked almost like conflict.
"Come here," he said.
She moved toward him slowly, not sure what was coming next. Was there more? Would he demand she kneel again? Would he add his own use to what Sebastian and Lucian had already taken?
But when she reached the desk, he pulled her down onto his lap. Not for sex. Just to sit. His arm wrapped around her waist, holding her against him, and the gesture was so unexpected that she nearly broke.
His other hand came up to her face, and he used his thumb to gently wipe away some of the tears. The tenderness of it....after everything, made something inside her shatter.
"Your visit is tomorrow at noon," he said quietly. His voice was almost soft. Almost kind in a way that felt more dangerous than all the brutality combined. "A car will come for you at eleven-thirty. You’ll have four hours with Your mother. You’ll have time to hold her hand, to talk to her, to see that she’s being cared for properly. And you’ll be back here by sunset."
She nodded, not trusting her voice. Not sure she could speak without completely falling apart.
"While you’re there," he continued, his hand stroking her hair now with the same gentleness Sebastian and Lucian had shown, "you won’t speak of what happens here. You won’t tell her about us. You won’t tell her about the arrangement. You won’t tell her about this."
His thumb brushed her cheek.
"You’ll tell her you’re being treated well. That you’re safe. That we’re keeping our agreement. That everything is fine."
"Yes, Alpha," she managed to whisper.
"Good." He was quiet for a moment, just holding her there against his chest, and she could feel his heartbeat....steady and controlled while hers was chaos. "Cassandra is strong. Stronger than most. But she needs to believe you’re okay. She needs to believe her daughter is surviving this. Can you do that?"
The fact that he knew her mother’s name. The fact that he understood her mother’s emotional state well enough to know what she needed to hear. The fact that he cared enough about her mother to consider her wellbeing while using her daughter on her knees.
It was calculated cruelty wrapped in genuine care, and it was the most dangerous thing any of them could have done.
"Yes," Lilith said.
"Good." He held her there for another moment, his hand stroking her hair with almost paternal care. Then he released her. "Get cleaned up. Sera will bring you breakfast and fresh clothes. Rest today. You need to be presentable tomorrow. You need to look like someone your mother would believe is being treated well."
Sebastian and Lucian were both watching her with expressions she couldn’t quite read. Not cold. Not predatory. Just complicated. Like they were men caught between want and conflict, between the pleasure of using her and the pain of knowing what it cost her.
"Go," Nicholas said quietly.
She stood on shaking legs and left the office without another word.
But as she walked back through the corridors, her mind was spinning.
This wasn’t what she’d expected. The brutality, yes. She’d come to anticipate that. But also the gentleness. The way Sebastian’s hand had stroked her hair while fucking her throat. The way Lucian had whispered that she was doing so good. The way Nicholas had wiped her tears and held her and asked about her mother.
They weren’t monsters.
And that somehow made it all worse.
Because monsters were easier to hate. Monsters were easier to resist. You could build walls against monsters. You could harden yourself against pure cruelty.
But men who were affected by you, men who showed you gentleness even while they were using you, who cared about your mother even while owning your body, who whispered encouragement while degrading you, those were harder to resist.
Those were dangerous in ways she wasn’t sure how to protect herself against.
