Chapter 23: I Don’t Feel Strong
The estate looked different in morning light. Still imposing, still dark and Gothic, but less nightmarish somehow. She could see details she’d missed before, expensive artwork on the walls, ornate light fixtures, the kind of craftsmanship that spoke of old money and older power.
She walked slowly, trying to remember the path Mrs. Hallowell had taken last night. The corridors all looked similar, dark wood, plush carpets that muffled footsteps, windows that looked out over grounds she hadn’t seen yet.
Voices echoed from somewhere below.
Pack members, she guessed. Going about their morning routines. Living their lives completely separate from the nightmare happening in the guest wing.
She found a staircase and descended carefully, her hand on the polished bannister for support.
The ground floor was more active. She caught glimpses of wolves moving through distant corridors, warriors, by the look of them. Pack business happening all around her.
She needed to find the kitchens. Or Mrs. Hallowell. Or anyone who could tell her what she was supposed to do with herself today.
Because lying in that room waiting for the next time they wanted to use her felt impossible. She’d go insane. She needed purpose, even if that purpose was just finding work to do.
Her father had drilled that into her: Idle hands make weak minds. Always find something useful to do, even in the worst situations.
She turned a corner and nearly collided with someone.
"Oh...." Lilith stumbled back. "I’m sorry, I didn’t....."
"Miss Thorne." Mrs. Hallowell stood there with a tray in her hands, looking completely unsurprised to find Lilith wandering the halls. "You’re awake."
"Yes. I was looking for..." She paused. "Actually, I’m not sure what I was looking for."
Mrs. Hallowell’s sharp eyes moved over her, taking in the careful way she was standing, the stiffness in her movements. "You should be resting."
"I’ve rested enough." Lilith straightened despite the pain. "I was hoping....is there anything I can do? Any work that needs doing? I’m not...." She struggled to find the words. "I can’t just sit in that room all day waiting."
Something shifted in the older woman’s expression. Not quite approval, but close.
"The Alphas have pack business today," Mrs. Hallowell said. "Meetings with the council, territory disputes to resolve. They won’t be requiring your presence until this evening."
This evening.
Which meant she had hours of freedom.
"Then let me work," Lilith said. "Please. Whatever needs doing....cleaning, organizing, anything. I’m not above any task."
Mrs. Hallowell studied her for a long moment.
"Two months of omega work in Shadowmere," she said quietly. "Garbage duty. Manual labor. They tried to break you with degradation."
Lilith’s throat tightened. "Yes."
"And now you’re here offering to work rather than hide in your room." The housekeeper’s expression softened almost imperceptibly. "You’re stronger than they think you are."
"I don’t feel strong."
"Strength isn’t about feeling. It’s about what you do despite the feeling." Mrs. Hallowell adjusted the tray in her hands. "Come with me. I was bringing you breakfast anyway. You’ll eat first, then we’ll find something for those idle hands."
***
The staff dining area was smaller than Lilith expected. Tucked away in the back of the estate, it was warm and comfortable....completely different from the cold grandeur of the main house.
Mrs. Hallowell set the tray on a small table. "Sit. Eat. You look half-starved."
Lilith sat and looked at the food. Toast, eggs, fruit, tea. Simple but more than she’d had in months.
She ate slowly, her stomach protesting the sudden influx of food after going so long on scraps.
Mrs. Hallowell busied herself with something at the counter, giving Lilith space but remaining present.
"How long have you worked here?" Lilith asked between bites.
"Forty-two years." The older woman didn’t turn around. "I started when the old Alpha....the brothers’ father....was just a young man taking over from his own father. I’ve served this house through three generations."
"You knew him. The Alpha who died."
"Yes." Mrs. Hallowell’s voice was careful. Measured. "He was a good man. A strong leader. His death was a great loss to this pack."
Lilith’s hands tightened on her fork. "And you believe my father was responsible."
Mrs. Hallowell turned then, her sharp eyes meeting Lilith’s directly.
"I believe," she said slowly, "that things are rarely as simple as they appear. I believe powerful men make choices that serve their interests. And I believe you’ve been caught in the middle of something much larger than yourself."
The words hung in the air between them.
Before Lilith could respond, the door opened.
A young woman entered....maybe early twenties, with dark hair pulled back in a practical braid and the bearing of a warrior. She stopped when she saw Lilith.
"Mrs. Hallowell...." she started.
"Sera." The housekeeper’s voice was firm. "This is Miss Thorne. She’ll be staying with us for the month."
Sera’s eyes widened slightly. "The...." She caught herself. "I see."
"Miss Thorne was just asking about finding work to occupy her time," Mrs. Hallowell continued. "Perhaps you could show her around the estate? The areas she’s permitted to access, of course."
"Of course." Sera’s expression was carefully neutral. "If you’re finished eating, Miss Thorne, I can give you a tour."
Lilith stood, ignoring her body’s protests. "Thank you. I’d appreciate that, and please call me Lilith"
Sera nodded and then led her through the estate with efficient professionalism.
"The main house is divided into four wings," she explained as they walked. "North wing is the Alphas’ private quarters. You’re already familiar with that area. South wing is guest rooms and your current quarters. East wing is administrative....offices, meeting rooms, records. West wing is communal spaces....dining hall, library, training facilities."
They passed through a large open room with high ceilings and morning light streaming through tall windows.
"This is the main hall where..." Sera paused, clearly unsure how to finish.
"Where they claimed me the first day," Lilith finished quietly. "I remember."
Sera’s expression flickered with something that might have been sympathy. "Yes."
They continued walking. Sera pointed out the formal dining room, the library, the pack gathering spaces.
