Chapter 73: Inner Struggle
The blue screen flickered in front of Kyle’s eyes.
[Name: Darian]
[Strength: ? | Intelligence: ? | Endurance: ? | Agility: ? | Mana: ?]
[Affection: ?%]
Kyle stared at it for a long moment.
Then he dismissed the screen and let out a slow breath.
`Another one.`
Every single stat is hidden. Just like Lilian. Just like the guildmaster back in Stonehelm, but worse — because with the guildmaster, at least some stats showed.
With Darian? Nothing.
Kyle leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms.
`So either I’m too weak... or everyone around me is just that strong.`
He wasn’t sure which answer was worse.
Still, he couldn’t deny the gnawing feeling in his gut. Being surrounded by people who could crush him without trying wasn’t exactly comforting.
***
Upstairs, in the library.
Lilian closed the door behind her.
Darian sat on the edge of the desk, taking another drink.
"So," he said, "the Zodiac. They are getting closer."
Lilian’s jaw tightened.
"How close?"
"Close enough that I had to take the long way here. Avoided two patrols on the way in." He set down the waterskin. "They’re searching the area near the entrance. They don’t know about the Realm yet. But they know something is there."
Lilian was quiet.
"How long until they figure it out?"
Darian shrugged. "Months. Maybe less if they get lucky."
He took another long drink, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "The problem is, once they know there’s a Realm, they won’t stop looking. They have got resources. People who specialize in this sort of thing."
He looked at her. "You need to be ready to move."
"I know."
"The kids?"
"I’ll handle it."
Darian nodded. "I can take some of them. Not all. It is too risky."
Lilian didn’t answer.
Darian stood up. "I will stay here a few days."
She nodded. "Be careful."
"Always."
***
The children had scattered across the courtyard. Some were playing. Some were arguing. Some were just... there.
Leo was chasing Scorpio around a dead oak. She was faster, but he was louder. Every time she dodged, he screamed something like "I will get you!" and she laughed.
Capricorn and Taurus were arm-wrestling on a flat rock. Taurus was winning. Again. Capricorn’s face was red.
Gemini sat on a low wall, talking to herself. Or maybe to both of her selves. Hard to tell.
Pisces lay on the grass, staring at the sky. The three moons weren’t out yet — just pale gray clouds. But he stared anyway.
Cancer helped Virgo organize a pile of firewood. Virgo had arranged the logs by size, from thickest to thinnest.
Libra sat apart from the others, on a bench near the garden wall. His white hair caught the fading light. His golden eyes were fixed on something in the distance — or maybe nothing at all.
Aries leaned against the mansion wall, arms crossed. His ram eyes scanned the courtyard like a guard watching for threats.
Aquarius threw a ball in the air and caught it. Alone. Didn’t seem to mind.
And Sagittarius — the elf girl — sat under a tree, drawing on a piece of parchment. Her green hair fell over her face. She never looked up.
Kyle sat on the stone steps outside the mansion’s entrance, watching them.
But his mind wasn’t on the children.
`Darian coming here means something changed.`
Kyle was not stupid. A strong person like Darian knows the way in here and knows Lilian and the children. He must have helped her in betraying the organization.
And his coming here means that something is happening, especially after he asked to speak with Lilian immediately.
He thought about what Lilian had said. The Zodiac was looking for them. But entering the Realm wasn’t easy. Months, she’d said. Maybe longer.
So why is he here now?
The answer sat heavy in his chest. Either the Zodiac had found clues. Gotten closer. Or Darian had his own reasons.
Kyle looked at the children. Laughing. Playing. Unaware.
`If the Zodiac finds this place...`
He thought about leaving.
It was simple, really. He wasn’t a hero. Lilian had healed him, trained him, and given him a place to stay. But that didn’t mean he had to die for her.
`I could leave tonight. Disappear. No one would stop me.`
He had Nightmare. He could fly anywhere.
`But...`
He looked at Leo. The boy was laughing, chasing Scorpio around the trees.
`What about them...?`
Kyle almost laughed at himself.
Since when do I care about that?
He’d been alone in his old world. He did not remember the faces, yes, but he remembered the feeling.
His parents were always on business trips. He would meet them once or twice every six months.
In his childhood, he always traveled from one place to another because of his parents, so he did not make any friends.
And even those who know them at their university, it cannot say that they are close.
He’d learned to rely on himself because no one else was there.
It wasn’t that he hated being alone. He just never knew any different. Loneliness was his default setting.
But these kids... they were different. They weren’t his responsibility. He hadn’t been forced to be here.
But in the end, he stayed.
He could have left days ago. Before training. Before getting to know them.
He didn’t.
Why?
Because Lilian was strong. Because training with her made him stronger. Because staying was logical.
That is what he told himself.
But now, thinking about leaving, something in his chest felt tight.
`No.`
He wasn’t going to let emotions cloud his judgment. That was how people died.
He could use his skill. Command himself to stop caring. Remove the attachment. Make leaving easy.
His hand touched his temple.
`One command. That is all it would take.`
He’d be free. No guilt. No hesitation. Just survival.
But—
`Would I still be me?`
He lowered his hand.
If he started changing his own feelings every time something got hard, where would it end? Fear? Remove it. Sadness? Remove it. Attachment? Remove it.
Eventually, there would be nothing left. Just a shell. A programmed machine wearing his face.
That’s not strength. That’s cowardice.
Kyle wanted his skill to help him grow. To push him further. Not to replace him.
He wanted to build his will — not replace it.
He wanted to make his own choices, feel his own feelings, even the bad ones. Because that’s what made him him.
`I would rather die as Kyle than live as someone else.`
He looked at the children again.
They weren’t his responsibility. But they weren’t strangers anymore, either.
He didn’t know what he’d do if the Zodiac came.
But he knows that he will do his best to protect the kids. This is his choice, and he will bear it. Even if it means death.
After a while, the sun started to set. The three moons began to appear, faint at first, then brighter.
The children went inside. One by one.
Virgo was the last. She paused at the door and looked back at Kyle.
"You are still here," she said.
"Still here," Kyle said.
She nodded once. Then disappeared inside.
Kyle sat alone in the dark.
The three moons hung overhead, pale and cold. The mist crawled across the courtyard like something alive.
He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there. Minutes. Maybe longer.
Then he stood up.
His legs were stiff. His shoulder ached. But he stood.
He picked up his sword from where he’d left it on the steps. The leather grip was cold against his palm. He tightened his fingers around it.
`I’m weak.`
That was the problem. Not the Zodiac. Not Darian’s visit. Not Lilian’s secrets.
Him.
If he were stronger, he wouldn’t be sitting here wondering whether to stay or run. He’d already know the answer.
`So get stronger.`
He looked at the mark on the back of his hand.
"Nightmare," he said.
Golden sparks burst from the tattoo. They swirled in the air, gathered, and formed the creature.
Nightmare materialized beside him. Its four wings folded tight. Its three golden eyes blinked slowly. The smaller eyeballs along its wing roots stared into the dark.
Kyle climbed onto its back.
"Fly," he said. "Into the forest."
Nightmare tilted its head. Then it spread its wings and launched.
The cold air hit Kyle’s face. The mist parted around them. The three moons grew brighter as they rose above the treeline.
Below, the forest stretched like a dark ocean. The mist moved in slow waves between the trees. Somewhere down there, Wendigos were waking up.
Kyle didn’t know what he was looking for. A Wendigo. A challenge. A way to push himself further.
`Anything.`
He was tired of feeling helpless. Tired of looking at status screens full of question marks.
`I need to be stronger. Not for them, but for me.`
Nightmare flew low over the trees, weaving between the mist.
Kyle scanned the darkness below. His crimson eyes started glowing.
