Chapter 834: Chapter 834. Choosing Commitment
"My goodness! Young lord, your hands are bleeding!" The maid exclaimed after noticing Hai Xuang’s hands. She hurriedly took out bandages and recovery salve. "Come, let me patch them up."
"It’s fine. No need to worry about it," Hai Xuang said.
"I can’t do that. Now, give me those hands!" The maid demanded.
Hai Xuang wanted to argue, but decided it was easier to just comply. He placed his bloodied hands on the table for the maid to examine.
"They are only flesh wounds, but it is still not good to leave them bleeding like this." The maid used clean water to wash the blood before rubbing the salve. She then wrapped the wounds using the bandage.
While wrapping the bandage, she asked, "I can see these are self-inflicted. Care to tell me what ailed Young Lord to do such a thing?"
"I would rather not," Hai Xuang answered.
The maid sighed. "We all have problems that weigh heavily on us. Some are heavier than others. Nevertheless, whatever the problem is, it will feel lighter if you share it with somebody, even if that somebody can’t help. I cannot begin to imagine the problem Young Lord is facing. It must be matters concerning the welfare of many. I’m sure it is not something a simple maid like me can help with. Even so, I will be glad to lend an ear if Young Lord is willing to share."
Hai Xuang shook his head and smiled softly. "Thank you for your kindness. My problem is not that grand. I can even call it selfish. It is not something worth sharing."
"A personal problem? Could it have something to do with Young Lord’s dream?"
"Dream...? I guess you can call it that... in a way."
"Everyone must have a dream. It is not something to be ashamed of. For Young Lord to feel so troubled. Could it be that this dream is getting harder to achieve?"
Hai Xuang’s face returned to being gloomy again. "It... It is an impossible dream," he said.
The maid smiled gently. She held his bandaged hands and squeezed them lightly. "Nothing is impossible. A dream might appear difficult to realize, but you must not give up on it. If you do, you will regret it for the rest of your life. I’m sure if you keep working on it, you will someday make that dream a reality."
"But... What if that dream causes others suffering?" Hai Xuang asked.
"Young lord, your dream is your own. Others have nothing to do with it. Your priority should be your own dream. Others have their own dreams and happiness. They must work on those dreams themselves. You owe them nothing. You owe no one anything. If they prevent you from fulfilling your dream, they are the ones at fault, not you. You shouldn’t be bound by what others think. They are responsible for their own fates. You must not give up on yours for anyone’s sake."
Hai Xuang’s tormented expression slowly gave way to a steely determination. "I... should not give up on my dream...? Is that the right thing to do...?"
"Chasing one’s dream is never wrong. Young Lord should never second-guess yourself like this."
"Thank you... I don’t know why, but talking with you is always soothing. I’m glad we talked. Sorry, ma’am. Even after all this time, I’ve never asked your name."
The maid smiled. "That’s okay, young lord. I’m always glad to be of help. You can call me Lin."
"Ma’am Lin, thank you for everything. I’m good now."
"Do you want me to bring you tea?" The maid asked.
"That will be nice," Hai Xuang replied.
*
That night, Lan Mei was standing on one of the balconies overlooking the lake. Lang Man was in her chamber, sleeping on her bed, content after many rounds of lovemaking.
Normally, at this time, she would have been in the room where she secretly met Hai Xuang. She didn’t know if he was there waiting for her. She didn’t plan to go there to find out. After what happened, she didn’t think she deserved his touch. She dreaded what she would say to him when she met him, or what he would say to her.
Hence, she stood there on the balcony, alone, feeling ashamed and dirty. She cursed her fate. Why did she have to find love when she had given up on it? Why did one of the most powerful men in the world have to take an interest in her? Causing her to be shackled like this? She might be free to roam around, but she was far from being free.
While she stood there lamenting her life, a kind voice greeted her.
"My Lady, perhaps a cup of wine can alleviate whatever trouble ails your mind?"
She turned to the voice and saw a middle-aged maid holding a tray with a cup and a bottle of wine. She forced a smile and said, "Madam Lin, how do you find me here?"
Out of all the maids in Peace Estate, Lan Mei favored Maid Lin the most. Maid Lin had always been there for her whenever she felt down, and she always gave the best advice. She liked her so much that she offered Maid Lin to be her personal aide, but Maid Lin refused. She preferred to stay at Peace Estate and served only when the summit took place. Lan Mei didn’t force her otherwise.
"Please, My Lady, don’t call me madam. It sounds inappropriate. It will be bad if others hear it," Maid Lin uttered. She poured the wine into the cup and handed it to Lan Mei.
Lan Mei accepted the cup. "There is no one else around."
"I still prefer us to be prudent. Now, enough about me. What troubles My Lady?"
Lan Mei sighed heavily. "It’s a problem you can’t help with... No offense, it is a problem no one in this world can do anything about."
"There is never a problem too big."
Lan Mei chuckled. "I wish things were that simple."
"Things are only complicated if we let them. I’m sure if there is a will, there is a way. My Lady shouldn’t feel that hopeless."
Lan Mei smiled weakly. "Thank you for trying to lift my spirits, but I’m afraid this problem is too difficult to solve."
"If you can’t solve it, why not just run from it?"
"Run...? No, I can’t do that. There will be a disaster if I do."
"How can My Lady be sure there is no disaster if you stay? In my opinion, if a disaster struck, it struck. There is nothing we humans can do about it. We, however, can control our personal fate. Why do we have to sacrifice our own happiness for an illusion that might not even be real?"
Maid Lin’s words caused Lan Mei to think. She knew she couldn’t chase her happiness because that would doom the relationship between the Devotion and Commitment Factions. She had been hosting these summits to mend this relationship. Letting it go now would mean abandoning everything she had been striving for these past months.
But then again, she thought about what had brought out the results many thought to be detrimental to the cooperation between the two factions. Those results were the result of her lobbying Lang Man. Lang Man never truly cared. The domain could enter a total war, and that man’s first priority would still be about fulfilling his lust.
Even if the two factions entered peacetime through her effort, it could easily be broken since Lang Man never truly considered it important in the first place. What’s the point of her doing all this, then? Why did she have to sacrifice her happiness for people who never truly cared for her?
"Madam Lin... Thank you for your words," Lan Mei said.
"It is my pleasure," Maid Lin said. "I assume the doubts clouding your mind have slightly cleared?"
"Not entirely, but I think I know what I will do next," Lan Mei answered.
"In that case, I’m glad. Do you wish to drink more wine?" Maid Lin asked.
"No. I have somewhere else I need to be." Lan Mei drank the remaining wine and returned the empty cup. She left afterward.
Maid Lin watched her leave with a slight smile.
*
Hai Xuang was outside the room where he secretly spent time with Lan Mei. He didn’t know if she was inside. The room had words of power that blocked outsiders from sensing what was inside. That’s one of the reasons they chose this room as their secret meeting place.
He had stood outside for half an hour already. He couldn’t gather the courage to knock. Maybe she was still with her husband? Perhaps she no longer wished to be with him after today. He had acted like a coward, after all, letting the woman he loved get carried away like that. All these depressing thoughts filled his mind, preventing him from knocking on the door.
’What am I doing?’ He slapped his face. He thought he had found his resolve. Was he willing to quit now?
He took a deep breath and was about to knock, but sensed an approaching aura he was familiar with. He turned and saw Lan Mei appear from the corner at the far end of the corridor. She was running.
He saw her face. Her eyes were staring straight at his. His body moved by itself. He ran toward her as well. They met midway and embraced one another. They no longer cared if someone saw them.
After the embrace, they spoke at the same time, "Let’s elope!"
