Chapter 1271: Just A Quick Moment To Think
Renna PoV
The slightly ’hurt’ expression that Astra gave me when I asked her to give me a few moments alone was rather comical since I could see that the only thing she really wanted from this current situation was even more physical contact...
The way her hand twitched as she looked me over or how her eyes were gleaming with the all too familiar shine of someone who was about to suggest yet another round of raunchy sex in the bath made that abundantly clear, and while I will admit I was very horny right now... I wanted a quiet moment to myself.
So I watched as she stepped out of ’my’ chambers with the same indulgent, soft smile I always wore whenever we separated, because she looked back three separate times hoping that I would change my mind upon seeing her hips sway hypnotically.
And like always I just had to smile at her and let her know that I very much appreciated seeing her hips move like that, but I wasn’t particularly in the mood to have her hips rolling against mine in this particular moment... but definitely in like... five minutes or so.
No, what I really needed right now was to think about what she had said without having said woman here influencing my thoughts, because that was another thing that Astra was insanely talented at doing; just existing in the same room as you made you think of nothing but her and what would make her happiest, and that wasn’t what I needed right this moment.
So I slowly rose from the bath and moved towards the countertop, staring into the mirror and watching the water slowly drip down from my impeccable curves as I admired myself, taking this moment to just... sort out how I felt.
How I felt about what I had with Astra, how it had gradually evolved into something confusing, how I felt about what it was that she was suggesting... and why my thoughts were as jumbled as they were...
I could understand why to an extent that this idea of hers was getting to me, but I wasn’t... I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so... completely open to this idea, to the point that there was even a part of me that was almost yearning for her to get this figured out.
I should be completely loyal to her and yet already we were exploring this ’new’ idea - for me, anyways - of openly sleeping with other people even though we were meant to be wives; on top of that, I shouldn’t want to have someone else’s children other than hers, and yet...
There wasn’t even a need for me to look down to know that my pussy was just dripping at the thought of carrying Fenkar’s pups, Leonisa’s cubs, or bearing a child for someone like Lady Merneith.
In fact, the entire thing regarding Lady Merneith was honestly completely and utterly unfair; she was just playing card after card that made my heart throb in ways only Astra had truly managed so far - with a few ’honorable mentions’ from Leonisa, of course - in how sincere she was.
Her method of showing said sincerity was rather... blunt, and some could argue that she was downright ’dirty’ in what she had been offering me - things that no reasonable person would ever refuse when given by someone like herself - yet it was exactly that which made me falter.
She was almost too good at giving me what I wanted, what with an entire garden city that houses some of the rarest and most beautiful flora in the entire world - supposedly - as well as something as ’selfless’ as funding education for children and hopeful adults between out countries.
Medicine and Herbology were always things that could be useful for a country, let alone when our two different methodologies of practicing those things were allowed to mix and evolve into something even more advanced.
Lady Merneith was offering me everything I could have wanted without me ever realizing it was what I wanted, and she was doing so with a handsome visage, domineering and impressive physique, an attitude that was somewhat cold yet also endearing...
She was practically too good to be true, and if this had been before Astra had shown up I might have thought of that as a bad thing, yet Astra herself was far too perfect to be true... and she was very much true.
So when she had offered me all that just for me to become her wife, I would be lying if I said my heart hadn’t skipped a beat, and I would also be lying if I didn’t admit that I would have willingly become her wife in another life.
Even though she was another who was going to undoubtedly want children, the other things she offered were far too good to be outweighed by the likely reality of me remaining infertile, so there was a part of me that was just... still wanting to say yes.
If everything that Astra had told me was true then she was absurdly capable in bed, incredibly rich, well mannered and obviously quite informed about everything, making her someone I viewed rather highly in terms of being a potential partner.
And now I was being pestered by Astra to go ahead and partially agree to her deal simply because my wife wanted me to get impregnated by someone else, knowing full well that if that was possible then our relationship would only become even more complicated...
I was hers and she was mine, and yet if she managed to get this figured out then that entire balance we created - one where I gave her my everything and she gave me as much as she possibly could manage - suddenly became... not so balanced.
Would I be able to stop myself from asking her to let me get bred by Fenkar, or fulfil that desire Leonisa had whispered into my ears many a time?
Would I be able to prevent myself from letting someone like Taura pound a baby into me simply because the Bullkin was almost the definition of fertility, what with her massive cock and potent seed?
How would this alter what we had?
I was just... scared; scared that I might lose sight of us, scared that I might lose sight of myself, scared that I would make what we had something that no longer represented the love that I so clearly felt for her...
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