Chapter 94: [Chapter 094] I'm angry, and I'm not going to die
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"Me too."
'Me too, I'm not your friend...'
I needed to tell him I wanted a future with him, but it felt like my throat was closing up. I weakly tapped Roardnes's shoulder, who was mumbling like a madman while holding me, and managed to break free. But before I could get any distance, he pulled me back, and I coughed up a mouthful of blood. Roardnes froze as if he had forgotten to breathe. I groped at my side, feeling a terrible pain that I hadn't noticed in the chaos.
"Adrien!"
"Ugh..."
There was a dagger embedded in my side. Magi and Yona, who had been cowering in a corner, screamed.
"That woman, that woman did this! That damn bitch!"
As soon as Magi's scream echoed through the warehouse, a figure who had been unconscious in the corner stirred and got up. Neil, who had returned from dealing with the situation outside, went over to where Yona was pointing and tied up the old woman. The old woman, with bloodshot eyes, checked on Roardnes and then smiled at me, trembling. It was clear that she had stabbed me while I was distracted by Roardnes's arrival. The pain I hadn't felt before washed over me. Roardnes quickly held me again.
"Roa, Roardnes..."
"Adrien, Adrien..."
My pale face, contrasting with the blood I had coughed up, must have looked grotesque. Roardnes's eyes widened in panic as he examined me, and his large hands went to my side where the dagger was still lodged. I screamed in pain, experiencing a level of agony I had never felt before.
"It hurts, it hurts..."
"Just a moment, just wait, please. Please don't die."
Seeing Roardnes's desperate face, pale as a sheet, I suddenly realized something. Ah, I love him. As the unbearable pain washed over me and blood soaked half of my dress, I realized that even when I had faced Sophie with a dagger, even when I couldn't see anything despite being alive, the first face that came to mind was Roardnes'. And the fact that I only wanted Roardnes not to be sad or upset when he saw me like this... How could I not love this man?
'I've fallen in love with Roardnes that much.'
And so, I smiled. Just before I lost consciousness. Even if I died like this, I thought I would be a little okay. I had completely erased Noah from my mind. Just thinking about Roardnes being alone made my heart ache, but I couldn't understand why I felt so happy.
Roardnes's shock was beyond imagination. He shuddered at the thought of going to the duke's residence, and instead, he brought the blood-soaked Adrien to his manor, a place that was almost like an abandoned ruin. He was informed by the hastily summoned doctor that he could not leave the manor until Adrien regained consciousness. Since the one who gave the order was 'that' Second Prince, he naturally couldn't say a word.
For three days straight, Roardnes stayed by Adrien's bedside without sleep. Then, on the fourth day since Adrien collapsed, he started harassing the people around him like a madman. Neil thought it was Roardnes's way of expressing his anxiety. Unable to bear to touch Adrien's pale hand, Roardnes would stare at it intently, and if she let out even a groan, he would wake up all the servants, no matter if it was midnight or dawn, and drag the doctor in front of her.
And from the fifth day, as if a new wind had blown, he spread rumors that Blier Acacia, Countess and aide to the Crown Princess, had been attacked by a strange man. Although he had tried to move quietly, as Adrien had done, he decided that it would be difficult to secretly bring in a renowned doctor without spreading the news. Immediately moving Adrien to the Acacia Count's manor, Roardnes was constantly harassing the doctors. Adrien's face, which was sweating and seemed to be suffering from nightmares, was completely bloodless. Roardnes naturally recalled the moment he had encountered Adrien's corpse in the underground of the duke's residence.
"...Don't die."
He cursed himself for being able to utter only those words.
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The dream was cruel. After showing me a glorious childhood, it relentlessly dragged me into the moment when I realized the truth stained with betrayal and deceit. My image, sitting affectionately to draw a portrait of Noah and me as a couple, while knowing nothing. And the back of young Roardnes, who was about to jump into the battlefield, saying he would propose to that foolishly innocent and naive woman. The newspaper that was buzzing about the couple of the century. The cruel fantasy showed me without filter the despairing look of Roardnes as he looked at my shyly smiling image. I watched from afar as he collapsed with a face marred by distrust, despair, and finally anger and resignation. "Don't leave me. Please, don't run away." The voice I had been hearing for some time grew louder and louder in my ears. "Don't leave me, please. Don't die." As the voice grew louder, I shook my eyes open and broke free from the vague fantasy. The sunlight that had been warming my face earlier was now a pain as it seeped into my eyes. I slowly blinked my eyes, which still couldn't focus properly, trying to see the figure in front of me. Roardnes, with a face far more broken than the one in my fantasy, was standing in front of me.
"I'm not dead... I, I'm not dead."
It might have seemed crazy to say something like that right after regaining consciousness, but as soon as I saw Roardnes's face, those words just came out. His eyes, which looked like they were watching a corpse come back to life, grew wider and wider at my words, then crumpled. With difficulty, he closed his mouth, the veins in his neck standing out, and swallowed a sob like a madman. He frantically waved his hand, and five well-trained knights rushed in. I answered their questions honestly, glancing at Roardnes who was staring at me from afar. He stood there, looking at me like someone in a dream. Even after the doctors concluded that there was nothing wrong with my body and said they would give me medicine, Roardnes didn't say a word. However, when I reached out with a glass of water to quench my parched throat, he came up to me and held the glass to my lips. Like a baby bird, I drank the water and then looked up at Roardnes, who had come closer to me. His face, which had always shone smoothly, was now haggard, and a thick beard had sprouted on his cleanly shaven chin. His lips, which had always troubled my heart, were rough and chapped, as if he hadn't had a sip of water. I gently grabbed the arm holding the glass and pulled it towards me. He obediently followed and sat on the edge of the bed. But his face was as stiff as a board. With trembling hands, I stroked his bearded chin. That's when he flinched.
"Why is your face so messed up..."
Roardnes, who had slightly distorted his face, snorted lowly. But his face was still stiff.
"Your face is more messed up."
"Ah."
"Do you even know how many days you've been unconscious?"
It was a reproachful remark, but his voice trembled terribly. When I flinched at the dramatic change in emotion coming from his stiff face, Roardnes grabbed my finger that was stroking his chin and pulled me into his arms. I could smell his familiar scent and a faint smell of medicine. He must have been pouring medicine into my mouth all this time in this room.
"I wouldn't have forgiven you if you had died."
"!"
"Not you, me."
I didn't know a person could sob without tears. His voice was as damp as water drawn from a deep well. He wasn't crying, but my eyes welled up. It felt like I had finally come back to reality, completely out of the fantasy. But the pitiful and huge back of Roardnes in the fantasy kept coming to mind, making my nose tingle.
"If you had died, I would have followed you."
Even if he didn't say it, I knew. He was the man who had mercilessly held a cold, sharp blade to his own neck when he saw Adrien's corpse. Roardnes told me that I had been unconscious for a week and that it wouldn't have been strange if I had died. I had also hit my head hard in a carriage accident and lost consciousness before that. Or maybe, since my soul and body had different owners, I was weak against such a shock. When I said that, Roardnes, with a pale face, told me to always be escorted by at least 50 guards. And he even said that he would personally escort me whenever possible.
"I'm glad you've recovered, madam."
Neil also looked a little pale, as if he had been suffering mentally. And for good reason, because Roardnes's gaze was cold when he looked at Neil, who had opened the door and stood there.
"Why are you still here when I told you to go back home?"
"I'm sorry. I was worried about my wife..."
I looked at him with slightly surprised eyes. Neil glanced at my pale face, bowed his head deeply, and apologized sincerely.
"I should have taken my wife back first and then taken care of the matter. I apologize."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not."
Since I had rushed to the duke's residence without waiting for Neil, I was about to forgive him, but Roardnes interjected. Neil sighed deeply as if he had expected this.
"...The criminal asked to see his wife."
"I guess he deserves that much torture. Finish off the others before they open their mouths. Don't let him spout nonsense about wanting to see his wife. Just shut his mouth."
"...He needs a mouth to talk."
"I'll go."
Before Roardnes's anger reached Neil, who had a face full of apology but didn't forget to retort correctly, I took the lead. As I staggered to my feet, Neil turned around in surprise. I only then realized that I was wearing only a thin negligee. Roardnes mercilessly kicked Neil's Achilles tendon, and as he hurriedly left the room, Yona entered with tears in her eyes. She seemed to have grasped the situation from the open door, as she already had a housecoat draped over her arm. Although my side still ached, I smiled at Roardnes, who was looking at me with disapproval as Yona helped me put on the housecoat.
"Don't smile like that, I won't be fooled anymore."
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"Can't you be fooled a little?"
When I said it as if I was complaining, Roardnes, who had a dumbfounded expression, pressed his temples and rubbed his face roughly. He got up from the sofa armrest where he had been lounging carelessly and picked me up in his arms. I was so surprised that my side ached, but I could clearly see Roardnes's tightly closed lips loosen slightly.
"Even if you deliberately deceive me, I'm a guy who can't help but be fooled."
It meant he would be fooled.
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