Chapter 87: [Chapter 087] So I did it, a kiss
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His intense determination to hear it felt strangely erotic. Was I going crazy? To be so affected by a man who couldn't even properly say the word 'kiss'...
"It's true, Your Highness. When you asked me to copy Elaconian characters and fell asleep, your mask slipped slightly and I saw your lips."
Roardnes' tightly sealed lips were imprinted in my mind. Thump, thump, thump. My heart, which I hadn't realized was racing, pounded in my ears.
"...And then?"
His voice, slow and dreamlike, tickled my ears along with the sound of my heart. The lips that uttered those low, pleasant sounds were full and beautifully colored. They had been that day too. His lips, glistening in the sunlight, were too sensual for a boy my age. I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly feeling parched.
"And then I did it."
I said it as if it were nothing, a casual mistake from my younger days. In a way, it was a mistake. Or rather, a minor fender bender. His lips were just so beautiful. With his mask slightly askew, revealing those lips, I couldn't help myself. I leaned in, and when he stirred because my hair tickled his chin, our lips touched, very, very briefly, like a feather. If you asked me why I was so close to him in the first place, the only answer I could give would be that I wanted to get a closer look at his lips. It would be too embarrassing to say that, so I omitted the explanation.
"And then I kissed you."
As soon as I pronounced the word "kiss" correctly, his displeased face turned beet red. It was as if someone had slapped him dozens of times.
"...Earlier."
Roardnes' Adam's apple bobbed noticeably. Time seemed to slow down, and I felt breathless.
"Earlier, you did the same with that pink-haired guy."
"Yes, so what? It's a common greeting among friends."
I tried to sound as casual as possible.
"You call me a friend too."
I was speechless for a moment. His persistent gaze felt like it was clinging to my whole body. I tightened my grip on the front of my cloak. I didn't know why, but I felt like I had to. It was as if I was being pressed down by an unknown, intense heat, and I felt a primal sense of danger, as if I was about to be devoured. As I cowered against the door, Roardnes came closer. His dark, burning eyes were right in front of me.
"Then do it with me too."
"!"
"You did it so well with that kid, and you did it well with a stranger too. Do it with me."
His dark eyes blinked slowly, and then his face was right next to my ear.
"Wh-what are you doing?"
My whole body felt like it had been plunged into hot water when his firm cheek touched mine.
"Greeting."
"Aaah!"
As his slow, hot breath brushed against my ear, I could no longer bear it and pushed him away. If it had been Adriel, his strength wouldn't have fazed me, but Bliere's was different. I managed to push him back with a force that made Roardnes' eyes widen in surprise. Yes, it was a success, but...
"Adriel!"
Before I could even scream, I was thrown out of the carriage. Someone had flung open the carriage door! The problem was that as a chilling winter wind whipped at my back, I had instinctively grabbed Roardnes by the collar and fallen out with him.
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"Madam!"
Gaspal's panicked voice pierced my ears. I closed my eyes tightly... but why? Instead of landing on the cold, hard ground, I landed with a thud on something else hard.
"Oof."
The groan that escaped my lips was deep and gravelly. I braced myself on my trembling hands and opened my eyes. My vision was a bit blurry, but instead of seeing the sky or other people's legs, I was looking straight ahead. But that was even worse. Gaspal, who had flung open the carriage door, stood there with his mouth agape. Yona and Nil, who had come running from a distance at the sound of the carriage, were covering their mouths with their hands.
"...Madam."
A rough, muffled voice came from below me.
"Your Highness!"
I was sitting on top of Roardnes. When I had tried to fall, Roardnes had grabbed my collar and desperately pulled himself down so that he would land first.
"Goodness! Have you two finally had a fight?"
Nil exclaimed excitedly as he ran towards us.
"Madam, Madam! Did you really use force?!"
Yona, who was used to Bliere's unusual strength, scolded me as she ran up. I immediately got off Roardnes and, using the stunned butler as a crutch, I stumbled to my feet. Roardnes was also shocked by the sudden turn of events, but he seemed unharmed. He shook his head slightly and stood up, but Nil had already wedged himself between us and was fussing over him.
"Wow! That's hot! Madam! You even grabbed his collar!"
"Your habit of grabbing collars is still there."
Nil's voice was excited even though his master was injured, and Yona chuckled quietly to herself. I guess instinctively grabbing someone's collar was a habit of Bliere's. But wait, how did he know I grabbed his collar? Nil picked up two gold buttons engraved with roses from the ground and showed them to me.
"Ah!"
"You're quite skilled, Madam. You even ripped off two sturdy coat buttons... Oof!"
With a heavy thud, Nil grabbed his Achilles tendon and hopped on one foot. Clearly, Roardnes had kicked him. Roardnes took the buttons from Nil's hand and immediately began to unbutton his coat, taking off both his fur coat and his jacket. Or rather, he handed me the jacket with the missing buttons and draped the overwhelming black fur coat over my shoulders, carefully zipping it up. It happened so naturally and quickly that I couldn't even see what expression he had on his face. As he finished adjusting my clothes, he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me close. I tried to pull away, but his grip was too strong.
"I'll be back, friend."
His warm cheek touched my cold one. I saw the upturn of his lips, the languid gleam in his beautiful eyes, and even the slight disarray of his blond hair that shone like stars on a bright day. But by the time I noticed these details, time had slowed down for me, and he had already gotten into the carriage. A vague sense of the complaints he'd been muttering, similar to what he'd said earlier, reached my ears, but I couldn't hear them clearly. I cupped my cheek with my hand, as if it had been slapped. Gaspal, speechless, and Nil, looking amused, were a blur to me. Yona's voice, scolding me, turned into a monochrome sound, and only the color of the jacket he had given me stood out vividly. It wasn't until the carriage had become a dot in the distance that I began to perceive the voices and figures around me again. I realized then that I had been holding my breath.
"I've never seen Your Highness give his jacket to someone after they've grabbed his collar."
"Don't worry, Madam. He doesn't seem like the type to get angry just because you grabbed his collar."
In Ronta, there's a tradition where knights, before a duel, would take off their coats and give them to their beloved. 'To their beloved.' Of course, he might have just given me the jacket because I had ripped two buttons off and it was no longer wearable. And yet, the black fur coat he had draped over me carried the faint scent of lavender, the same scent that surrounded him. I buried my face in the fur, as if I were wrapped in a large blanket, and held the jacket he had given me tightly. Oh, it itched. It itched so much it was almost painful. An itch I couldn't quite pinpoint.
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Roardnes, still in the carriage, clutched his cheek where he had just been in contact with Adriel. Even though the imperial carriage was hardly jolting, his heart was pounding as he replayed the events of the day in his mind. The heat that had flushed his face had faded, leaving him cold. His hand, which had carefully cradled his cheek, now roughly raked through his hair. As he thought of the people he had met in the imperial palace, he furrowed his brow. His heart pounded with anxiety. Although his desire to be by Adriel's side as a friend seemed as calm as a still lake, it was actually seething beneath the surface. Seeing someone else so casually approach Adriel under the guise of friendship had ignited a fire within him.
"What a childish thing I've done."
It seemed like only moments ago he had been begging Adriel not to abandon him. And now, to see someone else ask for the same simple greeting he had yearned for, he was filled with a sense of betrayal. He buried his face in his hands and sank into despair. Ever since he was young, he had acted older around Adriel. He hadn't been as tall, nor had his voice been as deep. He could have allowed himself to call her by her name, but he had chosen to communicate with her only in writing. It was his cowardice. Whenever he saw Adriel's bright, innocent eyes, his heart would pound, but when she didn't seem to see him as a man, he would fall into despair and retreat further into himself. He chuckled bitterly as he recalled the days when he had trained his body relentlessly and had done everything he could to grow taller, hoping to become the man she dreamed of. In hindsight, it was no wonder Adriel had thought he was Noebian Trovika. Because he had grown so much during that time, his voice had deepened, and he had become the man she had imagined. And yet, even then, they had been unable to meet face-to-face. Adriel had fallen ill and had to leave the academy, and he had desperately tried to explain his transformation to her. He remembered the joy he had felt when she had told him she was looking forward to it.
"'And then I kissed you.'"
His face burned as if it had been set on fire. To think that when he was younger, Adriel had kissed him! She hadn't said it outright, but she had admitted to stealing a kiss from him while his mask was askew. Roardnes unconsciously brought his hand to his lips. The heat that had flushed his face had spread to his lips, making them feel on fire.
"...I'm going crazy."
He was going crazy. The fact that he couldn't remember it, the petty joy of thinking that he might have had Adriel's first kiss... Roardnes banged his head against the carriage wall repeatedly.
"'And then I kissed you.' 'And then I kissed you.'"
With one final, hard bang, Roardnes ran his hands through his hair.
"What the hell is wrong with me?"
He had been the one to define their relationship as friends, but now Roardnes felt as if he had fallen into a trap of his own making.
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