Chapter 81: [Chapter 081] I want to know more about you
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My heart pounded rapidly.
"I was... blonde?"
"Yes, why?"
Without realizing it, I pulled my hand away from Yona. Despite the warm bath, a chill ran through my body. Yona looked down at her empty hand and tilted her head in confusion.
"...Ma'am?"
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That's right. When I first entered Blié's body, I was amazed at how even the color of our eyelashes was the same. Come to think of it, since my hair was blonde, my eyelashes would have been golden too.
"Yona, you... what do you know? What else did I say?"
Yona, who had been silently watching my strange behavior, furrowed her brow slightly. It wasn't that she didn't like what I was saying, but her face was recalling past memories.
"About your hair?"
"You had to apply a mixture of medicine and charcoal powder to your hair every two weeks, even if I didn't specifically tell you to... and if you didn't, on the first day, the roots would turn golden, and on the second day, the color would magically change as soon as you got it wet..."
Why did Blié trust Yona so much?
"...Yona, why do you follow me so well?"
Yona, who blinked her big eyes at my sudden question, blushed.
"Because Lady Blié is my benefactor."
Ah, one piece of the puzzle I didn't know existed was falling into place.
"Since you were in Elacon?"
"Ma'am!"
Yona opened her eyes wide and glanced at the tightly closed bathroom door, lowering her voice.
"You told me never to mention that!"
I couldn't control the goosebumps that were rising all over my body, and I rubbed my arms. Yona thought I was cold because I had gotten out of the bath and quickly helped me back in.
"Why would you say that all of a sudden... You must have had a hard time, haven't you? How frustrating it must have been for Lady Blié, who used to live freely, to be confined to this mansion. If you need anything, just tell me. Yona will go to the ends of the earth to do whatever Lady Blié asks."
Her young and sweet voice was filled with loyalty towards me. I gently stroked Yona's chubby cheek where there was a red mark. Yona lowered her eyes shyly, then took my hand and rubbed it against her cheek.
"Don't worry about it. If it weren't for Lady Blié, I would have died anyway. Getting slapped like this is nothing."
A maid who would even throw herself in front of me to protect me. Why did I think it was so natural for a young maid to be so blindly loyal? I had always thought of Yona, like Maji and the other maids, as just a maid of the Earl's mansion, and never once thought of her as a maid that Blié had brought in. Thinking about it, even when everyone else was afraid of Blié, Yona had always stayed by my side and chattered. She had always followed me wherever I went and did whatever I told her without question. That loyalty wasn't the innocent admiration of a young maid, but a sincerity that began in Elacon. To think that I didn't know there was someone so close to me who knew so much about Blié.
"Yona, is there anyone else who knows my natural hair color is blonde?"
"No one else but me, Lady Blié. I'll never tell anyone else Lady Blié's secret. I promise. How could I tell His Highness the Duke when you haven't even told him?"
I wanted to retrieve Blié's diary, which I had left with Roardnes.
"...Alright, then dye it back. Before Maji comes."
"Yes!"
Yona quickly slathered the potion onto my hair. I turned my gaze to the mirror and watched as my blonde hair gradually turned black. The face of Blié in the mirror was flushed.
'Who are you?'
I continued to ask the useless question of her face, which didn't answer no matter how closely I stared at the distant mirror.
'Why did you hide your hair color, even from Noebian, who was in on this?'
I heard Maji enter and say, "Yona, you're so dedicated. You don't have to go to such lengths, ma'am's hair always shines," and Yona awkwardly laughed, saying it was something she enjoyed doing.
'Blié, I want to know more about you.'
I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by fatigue.
****
The Duke's mansion was eerily quiet after so many servants had left. I didn't mind being alone in this damaged mansion anymore. As I wandered through the house, recalling old memories, I realized that the anger and sadness I used to feel didn't surge up as strongly as before.
Walking down the dimly lit corridor, I returned to my bedroom and reminisced about the conversation I had with Yona. According to Yona, Blié was a sorceress who had been active in Elacon. She wasn't actually a practicing sorceress but had lived by imitating what she had learned from wandering sorcerers before coming to the empire and becoming Countess of Acacia. Yona, an orphan who had wandered around the border between Elacon and the empire with other children, had met Blié when she was starving in the winter. Most of the orphans, who were mostly from Elacon, had stayed there for money, but Yona, being from the empire, had followed Blié to the Earl's mansion and served her. So, it seemed she had heard about Blié's past as a wandering sorceress from Blié herself, rather than witnessing it firsthand.
Although there was nothing more to learn from Yona, it was a great achievement to have learned this much about the veiled Blié. It was definitely a great achievement. But why did I feel so sad?
The trauma I had suffered from Annie's group in the capital was naturally healing in the Earl's mansion. Since I was no longer physically ill, I had nothing to hinder me, and I treated Yona and Maji as well as I had wanted to treat my maids as the Duchess. When I thought that Yona's loyalty was directed at the original Blié rather than my recent changes, sadness overwhelmed me.
Blié had received a fitting punishment by losing her physical body, and Noebian had his lifelong reputation ruined. So why did I feel this way? Was it because I had nothing to gain on my own? Was it because of the faded resentment that I could only fulfill my desires by entering Blié's body?
The thought of Roardnes, who appeared again, helped me to end my foolish thoughts.
"Ah..."
I was crying. As I wiped the tears from my cheeks, my face contorted naturally. I realized the reason for this sadness. Everything I had gained was through Blié's body, but there was one thing. There was a huge heart that the dying Adriene didn't know about. Roardnes' heart, which never changed, neither in life nor in death. A man who, despite my countless mistakes and the many times I had hurt him, had only hoped that I would not run away. I suddenly sank to the ground. A huge wave of sadness washed over me. The thought that I might lose even the only person who had brought me back to life as Adriene and loved me as Adriene, because of the truth I had just learned, filled me with both sadness and fear.
From the moment Noebian mentioned the Crown Prince's name, my anger had lost direction. If the Crown Prince was involved in my death, it would be for his 'cause', not because he had personal feelings for me. That's why I felt so empty. But at the same time, because of that, I could more coldly consider how to get the truth from the Crown Prince. It was fortunate that I could hold him accountable for my death, even if I didn't despair every moment like I did when thinking about Noebian. But if the one to witness it was Roardnes, his only blood brother whom he had protected and loved all his life... The fantasy that I could recover the lost time with Roardnes and be happy after 'everything' was over was becoming blurred.
It was clear that the gods were not on my side. If they were, I wouldn't be tormented by the thought that the person who had harmed me might not be the culprit after all, even after punishing him. I shook my head violently.
'I should just focus on what's in front of me.'
The water had already been spilled. And I don't know if Roardnes knows about it. A strange selfishness arose. Since I was so used to Noebian's lies, couldn't his words be untrue? Were there only one or two suspicious parts about my death? Maybe he could have killed me himself and lied about it, and there was no guarantee that the Duke of Castagna and Doris were not involved.
'So I have to check it out more.'
After much deliberation, I wiped my wet face and steeled myself. Before Roardnes noticed my suspicions about Bardenaldo, I had to find out and judge for myself. My hazy mind became clear.
"...What are you doing here, madam?"
And what became clear was not only my hazy mind but also my dim vision. Butler Gaspal, who had come from the end of the corridor with a candlestick, stopped in front of me. His eyes were filled with a mixture of confusion and slight surprise.
****
Gaspal had lost count of how many letters he'd sent to the Crown Prince's palace. Despite asking repeatedly what he should do now, he had yet to receive a reply. The Crown Prince and his men had taken over the task of finalizing the Grand Duke's funeral and soon after, followed the Grand Duke's procession. Gaspal had been left with no explanation. Feeling as if he had suddenly lost two masters, Gaspal was uneasy.
Though he was of noble blood on his grandmother's side, his opportunities had been limited. Despite moving from one noble household to another as a young man and eventually becoming the Grand Duke's butler, he had always felt like he was starting from behind compared to those who had been born into nobility. He had yearned to climb the social ladder, to become a newly risen noble and be granted a provincial estate by the Crown Prince. Of course, he knew his own limitations, but he hoped that his descendants would attend the academy from a young age, obtain higher-ranking positions, and establish a public record. But one of the people who could help him on this path had suddenly been exiled, and the other was nowhere to be found. How could he simply sit idly by?
Feeling troubled, he wandered around the mansion and discovered a woman sitting and weeping in a second-floor corridor. Gaspal's eyes lit up quickly. Yes, she was a woman of loose morals with many affairs, but she was also a woman who had fallen on hard times. Now that the Grand Duke was gone, there was essentially no position of a future Grand Duchess. Wouldn't he be the perfect match for a young widow in need of a new husband? Moreover, Blié Acacia still had some authority over the Acacia Earl's mansion and was also a maid to the Crown Princess. Was this not a golden opportunity?
"...What are you doing here, madam?"
He was a pro at seducing women, and he was sure this woman had been waiting for him here. The woman's disheveled face was slightly damp, as if she had been crying. He felt it was time for him to make a move. This was his chance. He could make this woman his and secure another connection. He had been relying solely on the Crown Prince, but now he needed a backup plan. Without hesitation, Gaspal extended his hand. The woman had no choice but to take his hand. There were no noblemen who would accept a woman of unknown origin, a widow who would soon be divorced. Perhaps he was the best she could do. As he held out his hand, waiting for her to take it, Gaspal felt strange when she simply stared at his hand without responding.
"I knew we would have a deep conversation someday."
The woman's slightly muffled voice sounded like a pleasant song. Gaspal felt his blood rush and swallowed hard. But her next words were contrary to his expectations.
"I know about your sins."
The candle was in his hand, but it was the woman's eyes that were shining brightly. Her flickering eyes held not the excitement of attraction to an appealing man, nor the low desire of a lowly person to seize an opportunity. They were the eyes of a ruler commanding submission.
"...Let's talk about your tricks, shall we?"
Her eyes, which spoke of his 'sins' and wanted to talk about his tricks, were the eyes of a dominant who commanded obedience.
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