Chapter 46: [Chapter 046] Your sadness worries me
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Roardnes's profile, turned towards me against the light, was like a work of art, even in the darkness. My heart pounded in my chest. The tension, clear beneath my arms wrapped around his neck, sent shivers down my spine. Just as a cold sweat began to trickle down my back, I heard people approaching. I closed my eyes tightly and pulled Roardnes's neck closer with both arms. I distinctly remembered reading about how to handle such a crisis in a romance novel. Our noses brushed, and the scent of his medicine mixed with his natural cologne filled my nostrils. We both must have heard each other's racing hearts, but no matter how hard I pulled, Roardnes remained firm, refusing to come any closer.
"Oops, I'm so sorry!"
"Carry on with your work, please!"
As the sound of the city guards' footsteps faded, I opened my eyes. The muscles in Roardnes's arms were tense. He had been so close to my lips, but he had pressed his arm against the wall, using all his strength to keep from touching me. Even after the people had left, we stood there, looking at each other.
"They're gone."
"Don't do that."
"!"
Roardnes gently removed my arms and straightened his posture. His voice was low.
"Don't be so informal."
"Y-yes."
I was so flustered that I could only manage a small reply. Roardnes adjusted his clothes. In between, he muttered to himself about how the city guards were doing such a poor job. Despite his annoyance, his elegant movements were like a beautiful painting, and I couldn't help but stare. The Roardnes I remembered was much smaller. In my imagination, he was a bit more shy. I felt strangely unfamiliar with him.
"You know there have been a lot of strange incidents in the city lately?"
"Yes..."
"It's irresponsible of you to go out without guards."
Roardnes looked at me with a stern expression.
"I have guards."
"?"
Roardnes raised an eyebrow and looked down at me. He must have thought I was alone. I had no idea he had come to protect me. He could have sent someone else. As I imagined him rushing here after we parted earlier this morning, my heart felt strangely full.
"Because of the Duke of Acacia's worry, I promised to always have at least 20 guards with me. They were all hiding, waiting for my signal."
His face, which had seemed to be suppressing something, turned red and then pale, and he looked at me with a bewildered expression.
...
*After a long time, when we returned, the city guards were nowhere to be found. When I asked around, I was told that they had only caught the human traffickers. As Roardnes had said, the city's security had deteriorated significantly. *
"I think you should fire all your guards."
"What?"
"If they can get this close to you, who knows what else they might do."
"They weren't trying to kill me."
"You'll only know if you're dead."
"..."
Roardnes brazenly got into my carriage with me and started to scold me all the way back to the Duke's mansion. I stared at him, wondering if this was really the same 'Second Prince' I knew. Suddenly, Roardnes's face turned pale, and he started to glance at me nervously.
"I shouldn't have said that."
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"What?"
"Saying things like 'death' to you... damn it, I..."
While I was fine, Roardnes was the one who seemed troubled. I wanted to reassure him, but when I looked closely, his face was paler than usual, for reasons other than his own words. Beads of sweat dotted his smooth, handsome forehead. The scent of medicine I had smelled earlier was undoubtedly a sign that he had been treated at the palace.
"Roardnes."
It was the first time I had called his name properly. My lips tingled, and my face flushed. Roardnes, who had been lost in self-reproach, looked up blankly.
"I'm fine, but you don't seem to be."
"I'm fine."
His response was so firm, as if he didn't understand what I was saying.
"I'm not fine."
"...Why?"
His eyes were so innocent, as if he really didn't know. I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
"Of course not. You got hurt because of me, how could I not be worried?"
"...It's not because of you, it's just because of my bad temper, so don't think about it."
Roardnes wiped his forehead with one hand, and his face turned a strange shade of red.
"Your bad temper? You're so kind, how can you say that?"
This time, it was Roardnes who chuckled. As the light and shadow from outside the speeding carriage danced across his upturned lips, he seemed to glow.
"As long as I'm kind to you."
"?"
He chuckled throughout the entire journey to the Duke's mansion. It was the first time I had seen Roardnes like this, and I was so mesmerized that I lost track of time.
***
When we arrived at the entrance to the Duke's mansion, we argued again about whether or not he should come in with me. I had to persuade him several times that the Crown Prince was visiting today. Finally, unable to win against me, Roardnes got out of the carriage with a heavy sigh, and I finally felt relieved and got back into the carriage. As soon as I got out of the carriage, Yona came running towards me with a flushed face.
"Madam! Madam! You're back!"
"Yes, what is it?"
"The Crown Prince has arrived!"
"Already?"
"He came very quietly! All the servants have gone to attend to him! I sent a message to you, but I guess we crossed paths."
*Indeed, there was no sign of the usual grand ceremony. There was no huge, ornate carriage from the palace, nor dozens of knights. *
"I've committed a great offense to His Highness."
"The butler said you had gone to visit the cemetery early in the morning."
"...That bastard, Gaspard?"
"Kukuk, yes!"
Yona, who always made a disgusted face at Gaspard's slimy eyes, laughed with me. With Yona's help, I took off my outer coat and quickly headed towards the guest house where Crown Prince Bardenal was staying. As expected, the guest house, which was usually empty, was bustling with servants. The entire lobby was filled with the aroma of various rare teas.
"Oh, the stewardess has arrived."
"Welcome, Madam."
Bardenal, who was sitting on the sofa enjoying his tea, and the butler who was fawning over him, greeted me in turn. I approached him with a strange feeling, as he seemed to be quite amused by me. Roardnes's older brother. The lord of Noebian. Bardenal was known to be as gentle as a saint of Ronta, but I wondered if that was really true.
"I greet the greatest star of the empire. I am Brielle Acacia, wife of the Count of Acacia. Your Highness."
"Ah, haha."
Bardenal, who was about to greet me casually, smiled awkwardly and invited me to sit opposite him when I greeted him so formally.
"Since you have become a maid of honor, you are practically family. You can greet me casually from now on."
Bardenal spoke warmly to me as I sat down nervously.
His deep blue eyes and fiery red hair were the hallmark of the Rontanian royal family. But despite the intensity of his colors, his eyes were slightly downcast and his features were generally soft, giving him a much kinder impression than the typical Noebian or Roardnes.
"Even so, how could I possibly..."
"I am not so difficult a person."
Indeed, Bardenaldo was as gentle as rumored. He spoke politely to everyone and was highly respected, a true treasure of Rontania.
"Thank you, Your Highness."
"Is there anything difficult? The number of servants is small compared to the scale, but the Duke's residence is so vast that there must be a lot of difficult work."
"Yes, but the butler is helping a lot and I'm only staying for a short time."
No sooner had I finished speaking than Gaspal gave me a meaningful smile. I managed to smooth out my distorted expression and looked at Bardenaldo. He was very carefully writing in the guestbook for visitors. Remembering that we were once family made me feel strange. If I had been alive, Bardenaldo would have called me 'aunt' and been just as polite to me, who was younger than him.
"You don't have to stay by my side just because I've come, my lady. In the Duke's residence, I'm more like a... a relative who lives here permanently. It's not a lie."
"Yes? Oh... I heard you visit the Duke's residence often. Is there a special reason?"
"I'm not much older than my uncle and we're on the same path, so we're like brothers."
"Oh..."
"It's no different from another home outside the palace."
I thought he was answering my short question quite sincerely. When I was just chatting about things like sightseeing the garden and sharing information about the rebels, the crown prince, who had been nodding diligently, suddenly said this to me.
"Is the crown princess curious about these things?"
"!"
"I don't think Your Highness would be satisfied with this."
Seeing me stiffen and hesitate over what to say, the crown prince soon wore a bitter expression.
"The reason I'm close to my uncle is because he's capable, not just because we're personally close."
"Yes, of course I thought so."
"My lady, I am someone who can sacrifice my life for this country."
A slight heat flared in Bardenaldo's gentle eyes.
"I simply hope that Duke Castagna and the Duke get along well and work hard for this country."
Perhaps the crown prince knows why Doris sent me here. So even though he knows there's no Noebian, he keeps visiting the Duke's residence, doing the condolence visits he's done many times. Whether it's a warning to me or an excuse to Doris, only the crown prince would know. His resolute eyes, which said he could do anything for the country, impressed me greatly.
***
After that, the crown prince continued to tell me light stories about various state affairs, encouraging me and then leaving. Feeling a sense of debt for not being able to properly greet him when he came, I walked all the way to the entrance of the Duke's residence to see him off. As I stood watching him and his escort grow distant, I heard someone clearing their throat. Startled, I turned around, and...
"... Roardnes?"
"Roardnes appeared out of nowhere. I was amazed at how he managed to evade the guards monitoring the outside of the Duke's residence and hide."
"Didn't you just go back to the palace?"
"I was worried."
Roardnes, who had briefly watched Bardenaldo's procession go away, came closer to me. He looked a little uneasy.
"What is it?"
"Just... everything."
I could see Roardnes' hands trembling. It was the same hand that wanted to hold me tightly, afraid that I would disappear like last time.
"It's okay, go back to the palace quickly...! Your face is pale right now."
"..."
"Didn't they already put a lot of guards around here? So you knew I went out without an escort."
Seeing his surprised face, I had no choice but to soften my stern expression. It was strange. His face, which made everyone feel intimidated, looked cute to me, as if he was two heads taller than me. Unable to resist the tingling feeling in my heart, I impulsively opened my mouth.
"I'm just curious..."
Roardnes' flustered face turned serious at once.
"Why didn't you use me properly just now?"
"What?"
"If you had just come closer to me, you could have chased away the capital guards a little faster."
Oh my goodness. Am I crazy? What did I just ask? Was it because his desperate face and arms kept lingering in my head? As I looked at Roardnes' bewildered face, I tried to make an excuse for blurting out words without thinking... Roardnes, with a serious face, opened his mouth heavily.
"We said we were friends until the job was done. I think you're not ready to accept me yet."
"!"
"And..."
The corners of Roardnes' lips slowly rose. He was smiling, but he looked a little sad too.
"...I'm afraid you'll be sad if I kiss Blie Acacia's lips."
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