Chapter 20: [Chapter 20] With the utmost cruelty and misery
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"AAAAAAAH!"
The diary, having slipped from my grasp, rolled wildly across the carpet. I glared at it as if it were my sworn enemy. If there had been a fire in the fireplace, I would have thrown it in without a second thought!
"Madam! What's wrong?"
"Madam!!"
The maids began to pound on the door at the sudden scream. The increasing vibration was like kicks, directly transmitted to my heart, as if it were being trampled.
"Noah Trovika!"
I couldn't help but shout. I raised my trembling hand and stared at it intently. This hand must have written those disgusting words. Planning to kill me with my husband!
"Noah Trovika, Noah Trovika!!"
It felt like my throat was tearing and blood was welling up. It wasn't just about having a lover. Noah Trovika, the man I loved and who claimed to love me. The gentle man who had cried so much at the funeral. ...He had tried to kill me! He knew better than anyone how much I wanted to live, how much I wanted to be healthy!
'I want to get better soon too, so I can be your strength.'
'Adriene, your very existence is a strength to me.'
How dare he say such things...!
"Madam! Madam!!"
"Noah, Noah, Noah!!"
Overwhelmed by betrayal, I threw whatever I could grab. It was the first time I had ever behaved so violently. If I didn't do something like this, I felt like my heart would burst. The vase filled with pink roses, Blier's favorite, shattered without mercy. The maids outside pounded harder on the door. The sound was like a drumbeat, fueling my emotions. I stomped on the shattered pieces of the vase with my shoe. Over and over until the pieces were ground into powder.
"Noah, Noah, how could you! How could you!!"
Even the maids in this house, who didn't know much about society, and the Count of Acacia, whose territory was only a small piece of land on the outskirts, knew. That Blier Acacia was your mistress. That I was your secret love.
'Until you told me yourself, I wouldn't believe anyone else. This is the price I paid for trusting you?'
Grasping the pink rose stems scattered all over the bedroom, I pounded on the door that the maids were pounding on.
"All of you, get away! Away from me! Don't come near me!"
"Madam! What on earth is happening!"
"Go! All of you get out!! Don't come near me!!"
Bang! Bang! Bang! The rose petals scattered everywhere and were crushed under my feet. I felt a destructive urge to do the same to anyone who opened the door. The sound of the maids retreating gradually faded. I leaned against the door and slowly sank to the ground. The door felt so cold against my back that I shivered. At the same time, my hand, which had been tightly gripping the rose stem, ached.
"Ugh...흑..."
Tears poured out like a flood, and I clutched the scattered roses even tighter. My palm, deeply pierced by the sharp thorns, began to bleed.
"Ughh..."
With the healthy body of Blier's mistress, I hurt myself as much as I could. My heart was boiling, and my mind was a complete mess, but I crawled on my bleeding hands and knees to the full-length mirror. Blier Acacia was reflected in the clean mirror. Her curly, sensual black hair was a mess, and her makeup was smeared from all the crying. It was the same face, but it was clearly a woman who wasn't me, and she was looking at me like a wounded beast.
"Blier."
Naturally, this body didn't answer. She just looked at me and howled like a wounded beast.
"Blier. What are you? What are you, what are you...!"
I cried madly again, looking at her distorted face. It was a cry that felt like vomiting out my insides. Only after I had wept until my healthy body was completely exhausted, and only after I heard the sound of the maids searching for the key to open the bedroom door out of concern, did I realize that I had lost even the last shred of pity for her.
"...You'll never return to this body."
It was separate from Noah. I had no more guilt about possessing this healthy physical body. It wasn't something I had planned, and I didn't know how my soul ended up in this body, but I had vaguely thought about the real Blier. Where would her soul be now? Was she in a body like the old Adriene, in a poisonous pain, having lost this healthy body? But I decided to give up those foolish worries.
"Even if you come back... there won't be a vessel to hold your soul anymore. Understand?"
I spoke the harsh words to her face without hesitation, more harshly than I ever thought I could. My emerald green eyes, filled with malice, stared straight at me in the mirror, completely disheveled.
"Now you are... the real me."
I'm not possessed like those people in books, those sorcerers who deceive people. God must have been sorry for me, who died without knowing this crappy situation, and punished Blier. I was reborn in my familiar form. So this is reincarnation. It's an opportunity.
"This is reincarnation."
I muttered, chewing on the words. Blier Acacia looked at me with demonic eyes.
"Now this body is really mine."
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Now I am Blier. No matter how she looked at me, I spat out whatever came to my mind. And I smiled, letting the tears flow like an open faucet. Even if no one thought it was a smile, I hoped that even a shred of Blier Acacia's soul would go mad seeing me like this. The time of useless wandering and confusion was over. I still couldn't believe Noah's betrayal, and my whole body trembled, but at the same time, I thought about how I could betray and hurt him too. I wanted him to hurt as much as I did. I wanted him to despair like I did. I wanted him to cry until he vomited his guts out like I did. Even though I had dropped out of the academy halfway through. Even though my grades weren't that good. If the professors had asked, "Write an essay about how you feel after being reincarnated as your husband's mistress (10 points)," I think I would have gotten a pretty good score.
***
Much earlier than their agreed-upon time, Roardnes was leaning against the door of "Restaurante Zendica." When the carriage from the Count of Acacia's estate, which always arrived on time, appeared much earlier than usual, he blinked in surprise and opened the carriage door. But even though he reached out his hand, she didn't get out of the carriage. Perhaps because they were meeting at a later time due to work. The inside of the carriage was as dark as the outside.
"Madame."
He called out, his brow slightly furrowed, but Blier Acacia didn't answer. Roardnes peered a little further into the carriage. Countess Blier Acacia, sitting quietly with her hands on her knees, was trembling.
"Madame?"
Surprised by the strange atmosphere, he looked around and jumped into the carriage. As soon as he closed the carriage door, Vicente, his subordinate who had been standing far away, stood in front of the carriage door. Blier, who had been looking down, finally lifted her face slightly. Her face looked the same as usual, but her bright green eyes were as black as death. Roardnes was captivated by the unfamiliar feeling and couldn't even speak. And as the chilling silence continued, he began to scrutinize her with narrowed eyes, sensing something unusual. Her hair seemed to have been hastily tidied up. Her clothes were slightly disheveled. Her thin hand, which was trembling intermittently, was slowly soaking the part of her knee she was touching with blood. Without even thinking that he needed permission, he grabbed her hand. Knowing that Blier Acacia couldn't win against his strength, she finally showed him her palm.
"What is this?"
He asked in a slightly angry voice. Blier's face, which was tinged with the glow of the setting sun, was completely wet when looked at closely. Her hand, which seemed to have been pricked by something sharp and cut by something sharp, was bleeding without any basic treatment.
"What happened? What happened at the manor?"
Perhaps the aged Count of Acacia had changed his mind about wanting a divorce and was treating his wife so cruelly? Or perhaps Noah Trovika had sent someone because he knew Blier was trying to get a divorce? Or maybe the hateful maids at the manor were bullying Blier, who was of common birth. All sorts of thoughts were running through his head, but the person in question simply handed her hand to Roardnes and looked down at it as if it were someone else's.
"Do you need my help? Please say something."
Seeing Blier, who had the same face as Adriene, with a pale complexion, he felt a sense of urgency. Roardnes quickly took out the handkerchief he had been carrying and wrapped it around her injured little hand. Soon, a name came out of Blier's thick, pale lips.
"Noah..."
"...Did he do this?"
Suddenly, Blier Acacia's eyes stared straight into his bright red eyes.
"I want to kill Noah Trovika."
"!"
For some reason, Roardnes saw despair in those eyes.
"How can I..."
And then, a large tear fell from Blier Acacia's eyes, like a lie.
"...Can I kill him in the most cruel and miserable way?"
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