Chapter 102: [Chapter 102] The Situation of Noevian Trovika (2)
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"So, that was the first time you saw me. Oh, for heaven's sake."
"..."
"It wasn't just a little forest that only 'An' and I knew. You knew about it too."
"I didn't. The crown prince told me, I didn't know."
Noevian replied hastily. The crown prince, who had been listening to our story with a dazed expression, chuckled.
I thought back to that moment. The sound of my heart pounding clearly in my ears as I entered the small forest with "An".
I remembered looking at his dark hair, shimmering in the moonlight, while thinking about how much I had been looking forward to seeing his grown-up self.
And indeed, when "An" took off his mask and smiled, he was exactly as I had imagined.
Long black hair like the night sky, and deep blue eyes that had been hidden. Everything captivated me.
'Noevian Trovika.'
Too busy taking care of myself, I didn't know the weight of the name Noevian Trovika.
'So the name "An"... was short for "Noevian".'
'It's so strange that you're exactly as I've always dreamed of and imagined "An" to be.'
I was simply happy that it was "An".
I had misinterpreted the royal academy's system, which had no concept of graduation, and the mana stones that could change one's hair and eye color.
In my naive and foolish youth, I had opened my heart to love Noevian, dreaming of my first love.
Little did I know that it would be the beginning of my misfortune.
"Please, please don't cry, Adrien. I have more to say. You need to know how much, how much I've come to love you."
Noevian continued, as if he couldn't say it any other day.
****
A Match Made in Heaven
That's what people called them.
Publicly, there were rumors that the iron-fisted Duke Noevian Trovika had fallen head over heels for the Countess of Pireta.
What a romantic tale!
It was easy to deceive such a naive and young lady.
Adrien, who accepted him without any suspicion, blinked her big eyes in surprise at the proposal and was genuinely happy.
And whenever Adrien reacted that way, Noevian felt a strange sensation in his heart.
It wasn't love at first sight.
Noevian Trovika wasn't that kind of man.
But when he first met Adrien Pireta without his mask in that 'little forest', he felt a shiver down his spine.
He didn't know why.
The woman's innocent, blind trust made him feel strange.
It was the first time he had been looked at with such warm, human affection.
And on their wedding day, when Noevian saw Adrien's expression as she appeared in a pure white wedding dress, he found himself smiling faintly.
He thought that a loveless marriage wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
On their wedding night, he gave Adrien some wine to prevent them from consummating their marriage. He thought she would fall asleep quickly after drinking because she was frail.
But unlike her weak body, she was quite a drinker.
With her eyes slightly unfocused, she smiled, her eyes curving up at the corners. His heart pounded strangely.
In her disheveled nightgown, she talked about their "memories" he didn't know about, covering her mouth and laughing.
"Remember that time, An?"
"..."
"That name 'An'."
"Yes?"
"It's such an old nickname. I think we should change it."
Noevian regretted saying it as soon as the words left his mouth.
Her bright face, which had been smiling, turned slightly stiff as she tilted her head. He fidgeted with his empty glass and fell silent. For some reason, his throat was dry.
"Hmm."
After a moment of thought, Adrien smiled brightly and stood up, hugging Noevian tightly.
He held his breath and moved away to avoid her soft skin touching his face. But Adrien hugged him tighter and smiled.
"What about 'Noah'?"
"..."
Adrien naturally wrapped her arms around his neck and sat on his lap.
Oh, goodness. This frail lady, unaware of her disheveled state, leaned against his shoulder and whispered against his cheek.
"Noah. I'll call you a new, pretty nickname."
Adrien slowly raised her head to meet his eyes.
"Noah."
Her eyes, the color of a light turquoise gem, shimmered softly.
"Noah, my love. My ocean. My everything."
Noevian had never experienced such a complete, sweet, and loving gaze in his life.
"From now on, I'll call you Noah. Don't tell anyone. I'll be the only one to call you that."
Oh.
Why does a nickname matter so much?
Why does the affection of someone who isn't entirely his own feel so foreign?
"I love you, Noah."
It felt like the center of his heart was crumbling.
****
"I couldn't possess you, who couldn't belong to anyone. I loved that woman who blindly waited for me, someone who was destined to serve others... I..."
Noevian's bloodshot eyes, dry from tears, looked even more painful.
"...I couldn't help but love her."
"I don't want to hear your love story anymore."
Adrien's head throbbed as if her eyeballs would pop out from the lack of tears.
"I don't know when it started. I wanted you. I just... I couldn't help but fall for you, like water flowing downward or the sun rising after night."
Adrien trembled, cursing Noevian for reopening her wounds.
"The more I loved you, the more I wanted you."
One of Noevian's legs slowly bent. Tears fell onto the cold floor.
"But I couldn't have you. You... you weren't mine."
"Stop."
Finally, the man on his knees began to plead.
"The crown prince, who claimed to be your master, noticed my feelings and always kept me away. He always sent me wherever he needed to go. I was grateful just that he didn't approach you directly, and I couldn't even return to the capital. And whenever I did return..."
His hands, scarred from a recent fight, scratched the floor desperately.
"I wanted to hold you, love you, and have you. Holding you in my arms, staying awake all night... with you, who belonged to Bardenaldo in body but to Roardnes in heart... I wondered how I could make you mine."
"Stop!"
"But there was no way! Your health was deteriorating, deteriorating... every time the doctor shook his head, I despaired endlessly, but I held onto the last hope that even if Bardenaldo had you while you were alive, he couldn't take you away from me when you were dead."
Noevian didn't stop talking.
****
"Your uncle seems pleased."
"..."
Noevian, who had unconsciously softened his expression, immediately hardened his face.
He remembered his wife, who had pouted, asking if she had to enter the palace as soon as they arrived in the capital.
Although the voice was light, as if casually inquiring about someone's well-being, Noevian immediately straightened up and faced Bardenaldo.
"How is the Grand Duchess?"
Since their marriage, the crown prince had never inquired about Adrien. Although he seemed trapped beside the cold-hearted Doris, the crown prince always mocked her.
He would call her "a stupid, greedy woman who is easy to manipulate."
Noevian was instantly pulled out of his daydream of Adrien by the crown prince's usual casual tone.
"...She's not doing well."
"I heard she's on her deathbed?"
The indifferent look on Bardenaldo's face made Noevian want to punch him. Noevian barely managed to suppress his emotions, but Bardenaldo, who never missed a chance, noticed.
"Uncle. It's good to be lost in the dream of newlyweds. But as long as I am the master of Countess Pireta, I will never give her up."
A year ago, Noevian would have simply nodded in agreement. After all, everything given to him was like a bone thrown to a dog on a leash, every hour.
It wasn't a gift.
It was like a dog bone that the master would take away whenever he wanted and give back when the dog was hungry and wagged its tail.
Things he could never get unless the master came back and loved him.
Never before had he felt so keenly aware of his own situation as he did today.
Oh.
'What a waste of my life.'
For the first time, he regretted his choices.
He should have killed the emperor when he had the chance. He should have killed them all and made it impossible for anyone to say such things to him, to take Adrien away from him.
But as always, a dog tamed by its master would whine and wag its tail even when it was hungry.
"Even if Adrien Pireta dies, her resting place will not be the tomb of the Duke of Trovika... but by my side. Do you understand?"
It was because he realized every moment that even if the bone rotted, he couldn't keep it if the master took it away.
****
"So, you gave my corpse to your noble master?"
I asked in disbelief.
Noevian, unable to look up, continued to shake his head as if he couldn't hear me.
"My corpse and my mother's necklace. You gave all of me to that monster? You said you loved me?"
"The necklace..."
His voice exploded.
Noevian, his face drenched in tears, pointed at my dead body, shuddering.
"That necklace is the key to that coffin. Bardenaldo knows that. I had no choice but to give it to him."
Ha.
This is ridiculous.
My head felt like it was going to melt, and I lifted my head for a moment.
I had the urge to wish that the unrealistically beautiful chandelier would fall and crush me.
"You can't even have my corpse," I spat out, my voice filled with anger and self-loathing.
"Adrien, who I could never have, not even now, not ever..."
Thud, thud. The sound of something hitting the floor echoed.
Noevian was banging his head on the floor, still kneeling.
"I can't even bury you in my family's tomb, you who I desperately wanted for the first time in my life..."
I heard a loud crack as Noevian's forehead hit the floor.
A streak of blood ran down his forehead.
Noevian's eyes were no longer normal. Seeing his crazed eyes, different from the crown prince's, I felt myself falter.
Noevian opened his eyes wide and tried to get up.
"No."
But I wouldn't let him.
"...Don't you remember?"
I whispered, my fists clenched tightly.
"I told you to never appear in front of me without my mother's necklace."
No matter how plausible his excuses and circumstances were, the truth that he had deceived and betrayed me remained unchanged. So his shameless plea for my love only fueled my anger.
"If you want to see me so badly..."
A strange light flickered in his deep blue eyes. It was like the eyes of a dog looking at its master who was ready to throw a disc.
It was clear that he had caught a glimmer of hope at my condition, "if you want to see me."
I could see his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.
"Bring it. No, take it."
My lips twitched, not sure if I was smiling or crying.
Noevian, who had been kneeling, suddenly stood up as if he was about to spring.
"Take my mother's necklace from your master, you bastard."
It was an order, gritted through my teeth.
A large tear rolled down my cheek, mixed with anger.
Noevian immediately ran towards his master, who was lounging lazily.
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