Chapter 33: Troubled Heart
SOPHIA
"He might not have been aware of her status," said my mother. "You two have only been married for three months. And he wasn’t here most of the time."
"But we’ve known knew each other since we were children, right? Surely Daisy accompanied me even then. He would have to know her."
"You have a point." She tapped her bottom lip. "I’ll make inquiries. You should send him a letter and ask where she is. Even if it were a mistake to fire her, there’s no reason you can’t bring her back."
"You’re right. And thank you for your help, Mother."
Mother patted my shoulder. "Of course."
"Rest well," I said. "I’ll bring you some tea cakes from the village."
"’Sophia, you remember the tea cakes!"
"I ... do?"
Mother drew me to the couch and we sat together. "The Willowmarches are the benefactors of Velvetleaf, that’s the village. They own most of the surrounding farms and woods. And nearly all of the businesses in Velvetleaf. Willowmarch men have been part of the military for the last hundred years, so the Willowmarch women have been left to run Amaranth Manor, the farms, and the village businesses. I spent practically your whole life teaching you everything from accounting to party planning so you’d be up to the task."
"But what about the tea cakes?"
"I’m getting to that. The Pagemoores live on the other side of the village. We have our own land, though we’ve never farmed it. We’re scholars, always have been. We’re not as high in the societal heirarchy as the Willowmarches, but you were still a good match for Jace. In any case, your grandfather and his grandfather decided to arrange the marriage when you two were children. Primarily because, when you were five years old, you ran into the Willowmarch home and demanded to marry the boy in the garden."
"I demanded to marry Jace?"
"What other boy would be in the garden?" My mother chuckled. "But like I told you before, Sophia. Marriages are transactional. In fact, a marital bond built on mutual benefits and tolerance will last far longer than one built on the sand trap that is love."
"It doesn’t sound like I had much of choice."
"You’re a woman. We rarely have choices."
"What do the tea cakes have to do with any of what you told me?"
"Everything I told you could potentially spark a memory for you. Where we lived, the village where you attended your early schooling, Amaranth Manor where you spent many summers running barefoot in the back garden."
"Does the oak tree have a special significance?"
Mother shook her head. "Not that I know of. In any case, you adored the tea cakes made by Mrs. Spool. She ran the little tea shop near the school you attended. In particular, a rose-strawberry dessert in the shape of a heart. You always came home with one. It was only later that Mrs. Spool told me those cakes were sold as a pair. You must’ve eaten one on the walk home and saved the other for after dinner."
Nothing of what my mother said sparked a memory. "I don’t think I mentioned tea cakes for any particular reason."
"You shouldn’t dismiss the subconscious mind. You could’ve said you wanted to bring home sandwiches or candied hawthorn, right?"
"That’s true. Does Mrs. Spool still sell the tea cakes?"
"She’s passed on since then, but her daughter and granddaughter run the shop now. It’s possible they still make it. Though your father and brothers and myself don’t spend much time at Chapter House. We live in our house in the Capital. It’s more convenient."
But ... I’d only married Jace three months ago. My entire family lived in the Capital. All, but me. "Did I live at Chapter House by myself?"
"Well, you lived there with Daisy and the other servants."
"For how long?"
"Not long after Jace returned. You kept busy. You were planning the wedding and doing ... er, other stuff. I encouraged you to spend time with Jace, but he’d brought that harlot back with him. I honestly worried he might dump you for her."
"Why didn’t he?"
"That’s a question for him if you really want the answer. Since he married you, I hardly think it matters at this point." Mother took my hands and squeezed. "You must be making progress. Perhaps you’ll wake up tomorrow and remember everything."
"It’s certainly possible. Why don’t you go rest, Mother? I’ll buy tea cakes. Maybe going to the village will help break the amnesia."
"I hope so." Mother left, and I stayed on the couch processing everything she had told me.
I might not have my memories back, but I was getting a clearer picture of what my life must’ve be like. And honestly, it didn’t sound like it was happy existence. My thoughts were jumbled, so I went into the study and took out paper and pen. I jotted down my observances.
1. My family left me alone with the servants and moved to the Capital. Presumably because my fiance had returned and the expectation was that we would spend time together as a couple. (This was not the case.)
2. I spent my life learning how to be a Willowmarch wife. I could remember how things worked and access knowledge I had gained. It was the people and places that had ultimately shaped me that were missing from my mind.
3. Jace and Penelope’s relationship was unclear. He had lied about her being my lady’s companion. Why? What did he want to cover-up? Was Penelope really his mistress?
4. It appeared I had been abandoned by everyone. My parents. Siblings. Husband. Did I have friends? Did I have hobbies? Did I have any happiness at all?
5. The doctor had particularly mentioned the Stoneharts. Why? How did they fit into the puzzle of my life?
I looked over the list and sighed. I had more questions than answers, but the hour was getting late and I still needed to go to the village. I picked one of the kitchen maids to go with me.
We set off in the carriage, headed toward the village of Velvetleaf.
