Chapter 36: Chapter 36: Is It an Inborn Problem, or a Defect?
"Of course, I’m not saying you were wrong. Shawn Lane was definitely the one at fault. You’re a girl, and when faced with a situation like that, you should absolutely fight back bravely!"
He thought for a moment, then added, "But you should still be mindful of your methods. I mean, your attack... it was... you know..."
As a man, John Lawson found it rather difficult to even speak about such a thing.
He’d lived this long and never heard of anything like it.
Seeing his face flush bright red, Cecilia Sterling couldn’t help but laugh. "I understand, Director Lawson. It was a special situation. You know what Shawn’s physique is like. It would have been child’s play for him to restrain me, right? Only my hands were free. It’s not like I wanted to do it. I thought it was gross!"
’He wasn’t even wearing underwear!’
Of course, Cecilia didn’t say that last part out loud, but she had felt it at the time.
Hearing her explanation, John Lawson nodded in relief. He then changed the subject, asking with concern, "So, are you getting used to your new dorm? Do you have a new roommate?"
"It’s great," Cecilia nodded. "I have a wonderful roommate. All these snacks I’m buying are for her. I have you to thank for the dorm change."
"Don’t be so formal with me. Your family isn’t from Lorcain. If you run into trouble, who else can you turn to for help besides me?"
Cecilia smiled, feeling a little touched. Just as always, in her heart, John Lawson was the embodiment of "truth, goodness, and beauty"—the best counselor a student could ask for.
"Thank you for today, too. You gave me a heads-up, so I wasn’t caught off guard and thrown into a panic."
John Lawson smiled and nodded. The atmosphere today had indeed been murderous, but he hadn’t expected Cecilia to handle it so calmly and effectively, leaving the other party with no room for rebuttal.
But as he was smiling, he noticed Cecilia suddenly turn to him with a cold expression. John Lawson’s smile froze, and he asked, confused, "What’s wrong?"
Cecilia casually tossed a bag of chips into their shopping basket and turned to face John Lawson. "There was something I forgot to ask you. How did you guys handle that student aid grant? Some guy from the math department has suddenly started fawning over me, giving me black goji berries and flowers. He even insists I was the one who hinted at him first, saying I liked him."
"Huh?" John Lawson was baffled. "The math department?"
Cecilia nodded and proceeded to recount, in full detail, all of Flynn Hudson’s bizarre behavior and comments from the past few days.
The more John Lawson heard, the more his face scrunched up. He had seen that student, Flynn Hudson, before. Ugh, the guy was so grimy, it was hard to even look at him!
"How could something so ridiculous happen!" John Lawson found it unbelievable. After hearing the whole story, he was even angrier than Cecilia.
Cecilia was a famous beauty, not just in their astronomy department but across the entire university. And those guys from the math department were uglier than the last. How dare they come and harass a girl from his department?
"My guess is that after his counselor secured the grant, he wanted to emphasize how hard-won it was. So he probably told the kid that he only got it because you voluntarily gave it up. As a result, the boy misunderstood and thought you gave up the grant for his sake."
Cecilia laughed. "Director Lawson, just listen to what you’re saying. Isn’t that completely absurd?"
John Lawson laughed too, sounding rather helpless. "It is pretty absurd. But some guys really would think that way. What’s that saying again? ’He’s so mediocre, yet so confident?’"
Hearing this, Cecilia couldn’t help but look at John Lawson with admiration and nod. "Director Lawson, you never disappoint. Hearing that come from a man like you? That statement’s worth its weight in gold!"
John Lawson gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Confidence is the one thing I’m lacking most, let alone blind confidence."
"Don’t worry. I’ll talk to his counselor and tell him to stop harassing you. That’s just terrifying."
Cecilia instantly breathed a sigh of relief. She had a lot of money now, but she probably still only had one life. She had never been so afraid of dying.
’Turns out rich people really are afraid of dying!’
But rich men, besides being afraid of dying, were also afraid of not being able to perform.
Near the end of the workday, Dr. Sanders finally entered Shawn Lane’s hospital room to check on him personally.
"Does it still hurt?" Dr. Sanders asked.
Shawn Lane shook his head. "It seemed to stop hurting about an hour ago, but I can’t deliberately pull on it, or it’ll hurt again."
"Then it still hurts!" Dr. Sanders corrected him before saying with a deadpan expression, "Drop your pants. Let me see."
With no female doctors around, Shawn Lane was much less inhibited. He pulled down his pants, then turned his head away. Dr. Sanders peered through his glasses for a moment before nodding. "Looks okay. No swelling, color is normal. It should be fine."
Shawn pulled his pants up and quickly asked, "So, Doctor, will it be all better by tomorrow?"
"More or less. If you wake up tomorrow and don’t feel any pain, come find me to process your discharge."
Dr. Sanders finished speaking and turned to leave, but Shawn Lane called out to him again.
He looked back at Shawn with a quizzical expression, noticing the other man’s conflicted and hesitant look, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t.
"What is it? Is there something else?"
Shawn struggled for a moment before finally speaking. "Dr. Sanders, my... my first time with my girlfriend... it was... not quite..."
It was just too embarrassing. Shawn’s toes curled in discomfort, unable to get the words out all at once.
Seeing this, Dr. Sanders actually smiled. He turned back around and cut right to the heart of the matter. "Didn’t work out?"
Shawn nodded awkwardly. Thankfully, there was no one else in the room besides Dr. Sanders.
"Dr. Sanders, it’s not that I’m congenitally... unable, is it? Or is there some kind of defect?" Having come this far, Shawn gritted his teeth and decided to ask directly.
Dr. Sanders said softly, "There’s no defect, but the first time is very important. A bad first experience can have some effect on you down the line. So the most important thing is your mindset. You have to forget this experience and not let it keep affecting you."
Shawn grew anxious. "But my girlfriend is gorgeous, and I really like her! We’d been together for almost half a year before she agreed. I’d been looking forward to it for so long. I really... I don’t even know why it just..."
"If I wasn’t in the mood, that would be one thing, but I was so excited I was about to have a brain hemorrhage! But ’it’ was like it wasn’t even mine, completely ignoring the signals from my brain."
Dr. Sanders seized on the key point and raised an eyebrow. "Well, there’s your problem. Being too nervous in that situation can affect your performance, but so can being too excited. You were overexcited."
"Huh?" Shawn was floored. "Shouldn’t being excited make you... more ready?"
"Extremes lead to their opposites. You wanted it too much, and you wanted to perform well too much. You had two extreme emotions at once—extreme nervousness and extreme excitement. It’s not surprising this happened." Dr. Sanders smiled as he spoke. "So, there’s nothing wrong with you physically. It’s a mental thing. Adjust your mindset next time, and you’ll be fine."
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