Chapter 356: Wishing For A New Beginning
He got a weird feeling going down those stairs... he had no idea what it was. But his heart was beating as it had never before. Was he scared? No, he didn’t think he was, after all... he definitely wasn’t more scared than when he had to face the Queen in Frozen Crown, so then what was it? Why...
And with every step he took, it only got worse and worse... and looking down, there didn’t seem to be an end. It reminded him of a hideout from Frozen Crown. Back then, he had to jump down; only then would the descent end.
Back then, he had been walking in the stomach of a monster, and he was wondering if this was the case. So he stopped, summoning Voidpiercer and thrusting the blade into the ground, breaking a small part of the stairs.
Grabbing the broken part, he dropped it into the hole. Then he waited and waited until he heard it. The stone piece hitting the ground.
’So... there is an end?’ Aether sighed, continuing to walk down the stairs.
’Looks like this time there isn’t a shortcut.’
...
And it only got worse; he started... hearing voices. At first, he couldn’t understand what they were saying, but with time, they became clearer and clearer, as if the one speaking had gotten close, right at his ear, whispering.
"Turn back, you have already failed them, so what’s the point?"
Aether shrugged it off, continuing to descend down the stairs. Though the thing was that he wasn’t immune to the words being whispered in his ears, he used a lot of willpower to push them off him.
"Do you really think getting stronger will help? That you will somehow find a way to get them back, your friends? You know... if you never started that rebellion, they would have never died. It’s all your fault." The voice chuckled into his ear, making Aether try to cover them, but to no avail.
But he didn’t stop.
He just sighed, tired.
"You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know how many have died because of me?"
...
"But.." He frowned. "It was their choice; they chose to follow me. I’m not taking the guilt off my shoulders. If I had been a better leader, maybe I could have helped more, but I never forced anything on them..."
...
"I’m sure that none of them blame me for their death, after all, they were my friends, we all failed. The only one who puts the blame on me for their death is..."
The voice laughed.
"Yourself, how pathetic. You said all of this to shut me up... however... how is that supposed to happen when you yourself don’t even believe what you just said? Or rather, you know it’s the truth, but you just can’t accept it. "
...
"What a waste of space you are."
Aether rolled his eyes, waving his hand in the air. "Maybe I am, but you are even more useless than I. What even is your purpose if you tell me everything I already know? A lot of things in this book keep showing me the same thing: just how useless I am, how I always fail to protect the others around me. You guys think I don’t know? How many times, and how many of you will keep showing me the same things, don’t you get bored with it?"
Aether continued his descent, not stopping once, even with the voice, since he had thrown the broken piece. As much as the voice was going to shame him, humiliate him, when he was this close... he wasn’t going to stop. Not now.
And it had seemed to anger the voice, how he kept going... but it also told him he was getting close. It wouldn’t get this desperate.
"For someone with a barely stable mind, you’re still have a strong will... can’t wait to see it get crushed. I’m sure you know that the ones most fun to watch fall are those with the brightest dreams and hopes. Sure, your hopes and dreams have already been crushed, but your will is somehow still standing...
You believe that there will be salvation for you? That if you beat the Demon of Dread... they will come back?"
Aether sighed as the tone of the voice rose and kept rising, making his ears hurt.
"No, I don’t believe that... that’s where you are wrong.
When the rebellion died, and I first came here, I couldn’t believe it, I just couldn’t. I kept running away from the truth, maybe because I was also inside the Tides, but I denied it. Until I finally broke, not being able to lie to myself anymore... that was when a deep rage consumed me... for myself, I knew it had been my fault, or at least that was what I believed, and I hated myself for that, and it lasted a long time, until I realized that it wasn’t helping."
...
"I could have hated myself as much as I wanted, I could have hurt myself, and it wouldn’t have led to anything; they would still be dead... so I stopped... I tried to regain control of myself, to reason and to bargain with my own mind, that maybe if I got stronger, I could get them back. If I became a Seeker, maybe then there was a way. I used that as an anchor, that was the thing that kept my mind in one piece."
Aether stopped for a second, looking at his hands and clenching them.
"But then everything crumpled in that war... with Kade’s and Lucien’s death, I realized that as strong as I got, it would not help. After all, I have gotten stronger, I would say a lot stronger than I was when I fought Lilith, and yet I still couldn’t protect those dear to me... so what was the point? My anchor broke, and I fell into a deep frustration and sadness. I was exhausted... I wanted to just end things and take a break, to the point I didn’t even care for my own life... and here we are.
...
What I want... isn’t to get them back, I know that it’s just not possible... what I want.
Is a new beginning... a new start. The road I’ve initially taken was rough, and it had only gotten worse. If I keep walking on it, if I let my emotions, my anger, and vengeance continue getting the best of me, nothing will go well.
A break... and a new start. That’s what I want.
To see what being a human is like again."
...
Before he knew it, the voice was gone, along with the staircase; he had reached the end. But down there, only shadows remained... so Aether walked through the darkness, waiting to see what he was going to meet on the other side...
However, the darkness never stopped.
Because that darkness was the Layer 3.
It wasn’t anything like the other three; it wasn’t a beautiful world, one with so many things to explore, only darkness.
A throne... and the Demon of Dread himself.
...
...
However, he didn’t look like a demon at all.
...
He looked exactly like him.
Aether froze, staring at himself.
"I guess... this is what she meant by you not being the person I think you are."
The Demon of Dread didn’t speak, didn’t move, it just stared at him. It was uncanny... it looked just like him, to the exact details, even the marks from the Abyss, they were there, the black eye.
Aether sighed, summoning his blade, and clenching it harder than ever before... after all, this was one of the most important moments of his life. He took a deep breath, before he dashed forward, keeping eye contact with himself the whole time...
Yet as he thrusted the blade, the Demon of Dread suddenly disappeared. Aether stared in confusion; he didn’t understand what had happened. But then he heard it, behind him."
"Who are you?"
Aether turned around to see a version of his child self. Looking up at him with his little head tilted.
"Huh?"... Aether let go of Voidpiercer, the blade retreating back into his arm, as he just stared at his younger self.
The boy suddenly smiled. "Are you me?"
...
"That’s... so cool!" It said, jumping to hug his thigh.
...
Aether staggered at first, but then stopped, feeling the warmth of his younger self’s love.
’What’s... happening?’
...
’Oh... I get it...’
Among everyone he had met in his journey as a Reader... there had only been one person that he had kept with him, the only person that had stayed alive, and he had not failed to protect... that was himself, specifically the him before he awakened.
But more importantly... it was the only thing left that still bound him to the past, to all the lost and the grief he had endured.
...
Aether smiled, patting his younger self’s head with one of his hands... and with the other, he summoned Voidpiercer... thrusting the blade into the last piece of his past.
...
...
...
[You have killed a Reader Fragment, Depression]
