Playing The Alphas

Chapter 103: We Should Do This

FINNIAN

I sat on the edge of my bed and my hands were clasped together and my head was bowed and I could not stop thinking about what had happened in the corridor. The sisters had frozen me and they had studied me and they had touched me like I was nothing more than a specimen. I had been helpless and I had been trapped and I had been terrified.

Jayce sat across from me and his face was pale and his eyes were haunted. He had not spoken much since the incident in his chambers. He had been brooding and pacing and avoiding everyone. But now he was here and he was listening and he was trying to understand.

Darlington stood by the window and his arms were crossed and his jaw was tight. He had carried me out of the corridor and he had brought me to my room and he had stayed with me until I was calm enough to speak. He had not left my side and he had not asked for anything in return.

The three of us had not been alone together like this in a very long time.

"I am sorry," Jayce said. His voice was rough and quiet and it did not sound like him at all. "For what I did. For what I almost did. I hurt that servant and I almost hurt you and I could not stop myself."

Darlington turned from the window and he looked at Jayce. "You did stop yourself. Eventually. That is what matters. But how long...How long do we continue to benneasts and rave, while everyone runs away? Will we keep living this life? We need an escape plan. What do we do?!"

"It is not enough. It will never be enough. The beast is getting stronger and I cannot control it and I am going to hurt someone. I am going to kill someone."

I looked up and I met his eyes. "You are not going to kill anyone. We are going to find a solution. Together."

Jayce laughed and the sound was bitter and broken. "Together. That is what you think? That we can just sit here and talk about our feelings and everything will be fine?"

"That is not what I said."

"Then what are you saying?"

I stood up and I walked toward him. "I am saying that we have been fighting each other for too long. We have been rivals and enemies and we have forgotten that we are brothers."

Jayce’s expression flickered. "We have not forgotten anything."

"Yes, we have. We have forgotten what it means to be family. We have forgotten what it means to support each other. We have forgotten that we are all we have."

Darlington stepped closer and his voice was soft and careful. "Finnian is right. We have been so focused on our own problems that we have not seen each other’s pain."

Jayce looked between us and his eyes were wet. "I do not know how to be a brother. I do not know how to be anything except angry."

I reached out and I put my hand on his shoulder. "Then let us teach you."

Jayce stared at me for a long moment and then he broke. He pulled me into a hug and he held me tight and I felt his body shaking. "I am sorry," he whispered. "I am so sorry. For everything. For all of it."

I hugged him back. "I know. I am sorry too."

Darlington joined us and he wrapped his arms around both of us and we stood there in the middle of the room and we held each other like we had not done since we were children.

"I am sorry for always trying to be better than you," Darlington said. "I am sorry for competing and comparing and never just being your brother."

Jayce laughed and it was a wet sound. "I am sorry for being a complete asshole."

I almost smiled. "I am sorry for being cold and distant and pushing you away."

We pulled apart and we looked at each other and for the first time in years, there was no anger and no resentment and no competition. There was only understanding.

"So what do we do now?" Jayce asked.

"We find a solution," I said. "For the beasting. For the curse. For everything."

"Where do we start?"

I looked toward the door. "Mother’s room."

Darlington blinked. "What?"

"Mother’s room. In the east wing. She kept journals and notes and records. She was the only one who ever came close to understanding the curse. She might have left something behind."

Jayce frowned. "We have not been there in years. No one has."

"Then it is time we went back."

We walked through the corridors and the torches flickered and the shadows danced and the palace felt different at night. It felt empty and cold and full of memories that we had buried long ago.

We reached the east wing and we stopped in front of the door. It was old and dusty and the wood was cracked and the handle was rusted.

Darlington reached out and he pushed the door open.

The room was dark and the air was thick and the dust was heavy. The furniture was covered in white sheets and the windows were shuttered and the silence was absolute.

I walked inside and I pulled the sheet off the desk. There were papers and journals and letters scattered across the surface.

"Look," I said. "She left everything."

Jayce walked to the bookshelf and he ran his fingers along the spines. "These are her books. Her notes. Her research."

Darlington opened a drawer and he pulled out a leather journal. "This one is dated. The year before she died."

We stood in the middle of the room and we looked at each other and we knew that we had found something important.

"We are going to figure this out," I said.