Chapter 16: A Circus Filled With Freaks
ADRIEN’S POV
The moment I felt Orion’s hand on my head during his talk with Louise, I almost pissed myself. Not because I thought he’d hurt me— he could kill me, armed or not— but because I suddenly remembered.
Standing in the presence of him and Louise like that, I suddenly remembered exactly what my life was like. I remembered why I felt like I had to run away then.
"You’re thinking too hard, duckling."
It’s always been Orion and Louise. He’s always hated anyone hanging on to him, he wants no followers and no yes-men—just the people he’s chosen.
"Am I being ignored? Is this what it’s like to be ignored?"
He would have never chosen me, and I never wanted him to. All I wanted was to live out of the reach of that Woman’s clutches...and far away from everyone I knew then.
Then it became a need not a want, because if Orion ever knew what I did...death would be the least of my worries— the very least.
"Speak to me or I’ll— "
"Yes Orion, what do you want?" He must never know. I’ll make sure of it, even if I have to give in to Leon’s bullshit.
"So you were listening to me?" He takes a sharp right, swerving the car in a way that should get him pulled over by road safety.
But we both know he would never be pulled over for anything. Not in Greece, and not anywhere else.
"I was...thinking." About how many threads I have to make sure never unravel.
"About?" He flashes me a side grin. "Pretend I’m as idiotic as you are and enlighten me."
He takes another sharp turn, distracting me from the sting of his juvenile insult. His driving might actually kill me faster than my secrets will.
"You don’t need Louise anymore, do you?" Even as I ask the question, I already know what he’s going to say.
"Correct yourself. I never needed her." Of course you didn’t. Asshole.
"Okay. You don’t want Louise anymore...right?" Instead of a reply, I get a sly wink. Then, he goes back to overtaking cars like he’s trying to race us to our deaths.
"Why am I still here, Orion?"
I lose my mind with each second he keeps me by his side. Just thinking about everything I have to keep hidden has cold sweat dripping down my spine.
It’s too much. I need to leave.
"What an odd question." He chuckles. "Tell me duckling, where else would you rather be?"
"Away from you." As far as I can get, like I did before.
"I’m not asking for lies, Adrien. Tell me where else you’d rather be... or better still, tell me where you left to, and why you did."
I respond honestly and all of a sudden, I’m speaking to the Basilisk? Really?
"I left because I could," I ran away, "and as for why I did...I just felt like it." I knew I’d die.
It would be like old times. I’d be the last to ever figure out anything, and when I eventually do, it’d be too late for me to do anything about it.
I didn’t even know I was in danger until I was told. And the danger wasn’t even external...it was Orion. I was always in danger and I didn’t even know it.
"If I broke both of your legs, would ’I felt like it’ sound like a sufficient explanation for it?" He’s not joking. Shit.
He still has that laid-back vibe around him, but his grip on the steering is tight. I honestly can’t tell if he’s pissed or not, and I don’t even know why he would be.
But maybe if I let him hurt me now, when he does find out what I did...he won’t kill me?
"You can do that if you want," I shrug, "it’s your choice anyway...always has been."
I ran but I’ve been dragged back into this shit. I’m probably already on that Woman’s radar because of Louise, and I also have Leon’s involvement to worry about.
As much as it kills me to admit this...Orion is the only protection I have. He can either save me or damn me, but all I have to do is make sure he feels the need not to hurt me.
Because the biggest danger towards me isn’t that Woman, it’s him. It’s always been him.
"Is this the part where you shed tears so I feel the itch to pity you?" His lips curve into a sharp smile. "If that’s what you want, then I’m going to happily crush your hopes, because I’m unable to feel that itch, duckling."
"I’d rather break those legs of yours and tighten my leash on your neck," he leans closer, "so you’ll remain my pitiful, little pet for the rest of your life."
I swallow hard to avoid squirming under his gaze, but I can’t stop myself from releasing a shuddering breath. I’m not afraid of his threat, I’m afraid that he’ll actually go through with it.
It’s always a toss-up with him.
"You’ve already told Louise that you don’t want her back, and you’ve informed her of the plan, so why exactly am I still here, Orion?"
It’s always like this with him. He looks at me with eyes that want to erase me, yet he never touches me. Not even when we—
"Because I never told you to leave. Not then, not now." he parks by the side of the road, turning to me with shadowed eyes.
"That was my choice, Orion. You cannot— "
"I don’t know what I did to make you think that you ever had a choice in anything, Adrien." He tilts his head slightly, watching me like a wolf watches prey. "I never even gave you the illusion of choice, did I?"
"And you wonder why I left?" I sneer back, matching him venom for venom.
"You didn’t leave, you ran away like a coward," his voice stays calm, "and you hid yourself like a sewer rat, trying to avoid my detection."
He searched...for me?
"Can you blame me for not wanting to be around a person who promised to cut me open and embalm my organs?"
"Don’t play me for a fool, Adrien. I’ve said more colorful things to you and you still hung around. You’re very stubborn, and that is what makes this interesting to me."
"I lost that stubbornness." I deliberately let my gaze drop submissively to my hands. "I’ll never be able to go against you, and I’ve already accepted that."
I don’t even know what to do. Should I do my best to convince him to let me go and find a way to protect myself? Or should I stay on his leash and hope to high heaven that he keeps me safe?
I have two options and so many ways they could go wrong. If there’s anything I’ve learnt from Orion, it’s that there are so many ways to kill a man...but he first starts with his spirit.
Orion won’t keep me if I act like I’ve lost my spirit, so I guess I’ve already chosen for myself. I just have to find a way to survive and hide myself until that Woman—
"Then you’ll find it again," his hand rests unsettlingly against my chest, "you’ll do your best to find that stubbornness and keep me entertained, duckling."
No more Adrien?— I guess it’s back to Orion now.
"I’m useless to you Orion, why not just let me go? Don’t you want everything to go back to how it was for you?" That Woman isn’t the danger, he is.
Staying on his leash will keep me close to him. I’ll have to avoid Leon, tiptoe around Louise, and make sure I never slip up near Orion.
Not to mention that rapist wildcat he keeps by his side.
If I stay by his side, I’m going to slip up and die brutally, I just know it. It’ll only be a matter of time until he finds out everything.
"Oh, duckling..." he drawls, "I’m doing this because I want things to go right back to how they were before."
