Chapter 11: The Most Expensive Mission in History
The Eastern Forest was much bigger than Kael had imagined.
Tall trees covered the path. The sound of insects filled the air. And small traces of blue mana floated among the leaves like fireflies.
Kael walked excitedly along the dirt trail while holding a small notebook in his hands.
"Alright..."
He flipped a page quickly.
"If we do ten missions a day..."
He started writing numbers frantically.
"And each one pays this..."
More calculations.
"Then in a month we could—"
Luna looked at him in horror.
"Big brother, you’re going to die of exhaustion."
Kael stopped writing slowly.
"..."
He turned his head.
"Luna."
"Yes?"
"What are you doing here?"
Silence.
Kael’s eyes slowly widened.
"..."
"LUNA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"
The forest birds flew off in fright.
Luna covered her ears.
"Don’t shout!"
"I TOLD YOU YOU COULDN’T COME!"
"I was worried about you!"
"YOU’RE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS!"
Luna crossed her arms.
"I didn’t want to leave you alone on your first adventure."
Kael pointed dramatically at the cat walking behind them.
"I’m not alone! I have this pot-bellied cat who’s going to do everything!"
The cat slowly looked up.
"Meow."
"Well, I don’t care if you signed up for this or not."
Kael sighed tiredly.
"If we don’t survive, you won’t be able to sleep and no one will carry you everywhere."
The cat looked at him again.
"You know how much you weigh?"
"Meow."
"DON’T ANSWER ME LIKE YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S RIGHT!"
Luna started laughing.
Honestly...
Kael couldn’t even stay angry.
Because seeing her smile like that...
made everything worth it.
They continued walking through the forest while Kael constantly checked the mission map.
"According to this..."
He looked around.
"The slimes should appear near the river."
Luna tilted her head slightly.
"How dangerous are they?"
Kael proudly raised a finger.
"Slimes are considered the weakest monster on the entire continent."
"Oh."
"Even kid adventurers can defeat them."
Luna stared at him for a few seconds.
"That doesn’t reassure me much, considering you’re worse at fighting than a kid adventurer."
"That was unnecessarily offensive."
Then they finally arrived.
A small river ran through the forest while several blue creatures bounced slowly near the water.
Slimes.
They were literally gelatinous balls with tiny black eyes.
One of them even seemed to be trying to eat a stone.
Very slowly.
Kael watched the scene in silence.
"..."
Luna did too.
"..."
Then they both looked at the cat.
The cat sat down.
And started cleaning its paw.
Completely ignoring them.
Kael took a deep breath.
"Alright..."
He struck a serious pose.
"Strategy."
Luna raised an eyebrow.
"We have a strategy?"
"Of course."
Kael pointed at a small slime.
"First, we analyze the enemy."
The slime slowly bounced against a tree.
Plop.
And fell backward.
Kael: "..."
Luna: "..."
"So scary."
"Shut up."
Kael took another deep breath.
"Fine. As a professional F-rank adventurer..."
He picked up a branch he found on the ground.
"I’ll handle it personally."
Luna looked at the branch.
"That’s a stick."
"It’s an improvised weapon."
"It’s a stick."
Kael decided to ignore her.
He walked slowly toward the slime.
The slime looked at him.
Kael looked at it.
Dramatic silence.
"Alright, creature..."
He raised the stick.
"Prepare to meet the power of the future legendary adventurer—"
The slime jumped.
Straight at his face.
"AAAAHHHH!!"
PLOP.
Kael fell backward instantly.
The slime stuck to his head.
"GET IT OFF ME!!"
"IT’S MOVING!!"
"WHY IS IT WET!!"
Luna watched him for a few seconds.
Then burst out laughing.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Kael rolled desperately on the ground.
"LUNA, HELP!!"
"I CAN’T BREATHE, I’M LAUGHING SO HARD!!"
Finally, Luna grabbed the slime and threw it far away.
The creature bounced off a tree.
Plop.
Kael lay on the ground looking at the sky.
Humiliated.
Completely humiliated.
"..."
Luna tried to stop laughing.
She couldn’t.
"Big brother..."
"Don’t talk."
"That was the saddest fight I’ve ever seen."
"Luna, please be quiet before I turn into a villain."
Then Luna calmly walked toward another slime.
She picked up a small stick.
And hit the creature.
Plop.
The slime shot straight into the river.
Silence.
Kael slowly sat up.
"..."
"Did you just defeat one?"
"I think so."
Kael slowly lowered his head.
"I’m officially weaker than my little sister."
The cat yawned.
Clearly disappointed in both of them.
Kael stood up indignantly.
"Fine! I just need to get used to it!"
He raised the stick again.
"Now for real!"
He ran toward another slime.
Immediately tripped over a root.
And fell flat on his face.
BOOM.
Absolute silence.
Luna started clapping slowly.
"Amazing performance."
Kael gave a thumbs up from the ground.
"Thanks."
The cat straight-up stopped looking at him.
As if feeling secondhand embarrassment.
Several minutes passed.
And the result was disastrous.
Kael:
had missed almost every swing,
slipped twice,
and accidentally hit a tree more times than he hit the slimes.
Meanwhile, Luna had already defeated three.
"Why are you better at this than me?"
"Maybe because I actually think before attacking."
"That sounds fake."
Kael took a deep breath.
"Alright..."
He looked at the cat.
The feline was sleeping peacefully on a rock.
"I guess it’s time to use the nuclear option."
He walked slowly toward the cat.
"Hey."
Nothing.
"Cat."
Nothing.
"Little fat king of mountain destruction."
One ear twitched slightly.
Kael smiled.
"I need help."
The cat opened one eye.
And right at that moment—
PLOP.
A small slime accidentally bounced onto the cat.
Silence.
The entire forest fell silent.
Even the wind stopped.
Luna’s eyes slowly widened.
Kael swallowed.
The slime started bouncing happily on the cat’s head.
Plop.
Plop.
Plop.
The cat slowly opened both eyes.
Annoyed.
VERY annoyed.
The slime smiled innocently.
And then—
The cat raised a paw.
And slapped it.
Silence.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
The world exploded.
A monstrous shockwave tore through the entire forest.
Trees went flying.
The ground split open.
The river literally changed course.
A distant mountain lost its peak.
And hundreds of birds fled into the sky in terror.
Kael felt his soul leave his body.
Luna was left completely disheveled by the wind.
And in the middle of the disaster...
the slime had completely vanished from existence.
Absolute silence.
A single leaf slowly fell from the sky.
Kael looked at the destroyed forest.
Then at the river.
Then at the mutilated mountain.
And finally at the mission paper in his hand.
[Eliminate Slimes.]
Kael: "..."
"That’s definitely going to reduce our pay."
"Yeah, looks like it."
Silence.
Kael slowly turned his head.
Seraphina was standing behind them.
Perfectly calm.
As if magically appearing in the middle of the forest was normal.
Kael: "..."
Luna: "..."
The cat: "..."
Uncomfortable silence.
Kael blinked several times.
"...Where the hell did you come from?"
"I followed you."
"THAT DOESN’T ANSWER ANYTHING!!"
Luna quickly raised her hand.
"Would you marry my brother!?"
"LUNA!!"
Seraphina looked thoughtful for a few seconds.
She looked at Kael.
Then at the cat.
Finally, she answered:
"I’ll consider it."
Absolute silence.
The cat’s eyes flew wide open.
"MMMMMEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!"
In fright, it jumped directly onto Kael’s face.
SINKING its claws into his head.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"
Kael started running desperately through the forest.
"LET GO OF ME, YOU DAMN CAT!!"
"MMMMEEEEOOOOWWW!!"
"YOU DESTROY MOUNTAINS BUT YOU’RE SCARED OF A GIRL!!"
Luna was dying of laughter.
Even Seraphina looked slightly confused.
Which for her was emotionally equivalent to a mental breakdown.
.
.
.
Several hours later...
The Adventurer’s Guild was completely silent.
Kael had just turned in the mission.
The receptionist was reviewing a report with a trembling expression.
VERY trembling.
"U-um..."
Kael smiled nervously.
"Did something go wrong?"
The woman slowly looked up.
"During your mission..."
"Yes...?"
"A shockwave accidentally destroyed a B-rank creature that lived near the Eastern Forest."
Silence.
Kael slowly looked at the cat.
The cat whistled innocently.
"..."
The receptionist swallowed.
"The reward for eliminating it was three million coins."
Absolute silence.
The entire guild began murmuring.
"THREE MILLION!?"
"THAT WAS A C-RANK MISSION!!"
"THE ROOKIE DID THAT!?"
Kael’s eyes slowly widened.
"...Are you telling me I accidentally completed a C-rank mission while trying to kill slimes?"
"Correct."
"..."
Kael looked up at the sky.
"I think my life no longer runs on logic."
