Naruto : Tsunade, You're Really Drunk

Chapter 104: Chapter 104 : Meeting Old Friends, Our Brains Are Collectively Overloaded!

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Night fell at the gates of Konoha.

Uchiha Itachi stepped into the village, accompanied by a striking woman with long, flowing hair, clad in a dark purple kimono.

Kotetsu and Izumo stood watch and eyed the pair’s retreating backs with thinly veiled envy. Their voices dropped to whispers as they leaned in toward each other.

"Hey... you think Itachi brought back a wife from his mission?" Kotetsu murmured.

Izumo nodded, eyes lingering on the elegant woman’s figure. "Wouldn’t be surprised. She looks like some noble’s eldest daughter from the Land of Fire."

"Man... that Uchiha luck. First the Sharingan, now this."

Kotetsu smirked. "What girl doesn’t want to marry into the Uchiha Clan these days? Not that you’d say no to marrying an Uchiha woman, either."

The two chuckled quietly, unaware that every word had reached the ears of Itachi and the "woman" walking beside him.

Itachi’s brow twitched. His face was a mask of forced calm, but his clenched jaw betrayed his discomfort.

Hold it together. This is Uchiha Hikaru’s plan. Everything for the clan... for the village. Just endure it.

The woman beside him turned her head slightly to glance at him. Her gaze was teasing, seductive—brows gently arched, eyes soft as autumn water, but glinting with mischief.

Her flawless face carried a faint smirk. Her small nose and soft pink lips gave way to a sly flick of her tongue, which danced across the edge of her mouth.

"Itachi-kun, what’s wrong? Don’t you like me like this?"

If this had been any other situation, Itachi might’ve admitted she was beautiful.

But no.

This was Orochimaru.

Just before reaching the village, Orochimaru had insisted on disguising himself. Itachi expected a mask, maybe a transformation jutsu—what he didn’t expect was for Orochimaru to rip off his mask and reveal that this vessel’s original body was female.

And then—before he could protest—Orochimaru had changed into women’s clothing, latched onto Itachi’s arm, and strolled right into Konoha like some noble bride returning home.

"You don’t need to disguise yourself this much just to get into the village!" Itachi hissed under his breath, forehead now creased into a full-blown tic.

Orochimaru turned toward him, batting eyelashes with theatrical elegance.

"But Itachi-kun, you looked so captivated. Consider this... my little thank-you gift for helping me earlier."

That voice—that syrupy tone—did nothing to help Itachi’s internal crisis.

His brain felt like it had been struck by lightning, and his eyes felt... violated.

Still, gritting his teeth, and bearing the bewildered gazes of villagers along the way, Itachi dragged Orochimaru toward the Uchiha district—and straight to Uchiha Hikaru’s home.

Inside, Hikaru and Tsunade were mid-celebration. Shizune was refilling their sake cups while occasionally sneaking bites of food between pours.

Knock knock knock!

A series of aggressive bangs on the door disrupted the merry scene.

Tsunade stood, frowning, already irritated by the interruption. She stormed to the door and yanked it open, ready to unleash her wrath before even seeing who it was.

"Who the hell comes banging at my door at this hour?! Don’t you know I became Hokage today? I’m not in the mood—"

Her voice cut off.

Itachi stood there.

Next to him, a stunning woman.

Tsunade’s brow furrowed. Beautiful, yes—but strangely familiar.

Where had she seen that face before?

Meanwhile, Orochimaru—still in female form—was the one caught off guard.

Tsunade? Here? In Uchiha Hikaru’s home?

His golden eyes flicked to the table. Hikaru. Tsunade. Shizune.

Drinking together?

Something clicked, and Orochimaru paused, silently mourning for Jiraiya.

Poor Jiraiya...

From the other side of the room, Hikaru looked up and immediately froze.

Itachi—check.

And beside him...

That’s... Princess Orochimaru!?

Hikaru’s brain instantly began overheating. Fueled by alcohol, his thoughts raced, overheating his nerves to the point that literal steam wafted from the crown of his head.

Shizune stared at the visible vapor in disbelief.

She pointed at Hikaru’s head, eyes wide.

"Is that... steam? From his head?! Is that even—"

She blinked. Nope. She turned and stumbled off to her room, muttering to herself.

"I’ve definitely had too much. Bed. Now. Or I’m going to start seeing toads dance."

Back in the living room, Hikaru rubbed his temples.

"Itachi, bring Orochimaru in."

Itachi gave a wordless nod and led Orochimaru inside. The snake Sannin sat gracefully at the table like a noblewoman sipping tea.

Tsunade was still frozen at the door. Slowly, she processed the situation.

"Orochimaru...? I thought... wait, why is she...?"

Then it hit her.

Wait. Orochimaru?!

She slammed the table, pointing a trembling finger at Orochimaru’s serene face.

"You’re saying this is Orochimaru? But she’s a woman!"

Tsunade had even used chakra perception. It was a female body, no doubt. No extra parts. Everything aligned.

But how could this be that Orochimaru?!

Hikaru covered his face with a sigh. Itachi just lowered his head and said nothing.

Faced with their silence, Tsunade’s mind jumped to the worst conclusion.

Her gaze narrowed. She turned her finger from Orochimaru to Itachi.

"Tell me. You’ve been sleeping around, haven’t you? Her name just happens to be Orochimaru?"

BANG.

Itachi’s head hit the table with a thud.

He had no words.

No will to live.

Someone, please—give Uchiha Hikaru a raise.

Orochimaru finally stood and reached for the edge of his kimono. With a swift motion, he brushed his hand over his face.

In seconds, his appearance reverted to his original form—pale, golden-eyed, and serpentine.

He smiled gently, voice returning to its natural hoarse tone.

"Tsunade... long time no see."

"My current body is female, yes. But I am Orochimaru."

"You can confirm it yourself with chakra perception."

The familiar energy—dark, cold, unmistakable—hit Tsunade like a brick wall.

It was him.

Only the body had changed.

Everything else—his voice, his chakra, his presence—was identical.

Still...

Why a woman’s body?

Tsunade wracked her brain but came up short. She hadn’t been in the village when Orochimaru went rogue. She didn’t know the extent of his obsession with immortality—or the forbidden experiments that had followed.

But suddenly, a horrifying thought struck her.

She pointed wildly between Itachi and Orochimaru, her face twisted in disbelief.

"Wait a damn minute—don’t tell me... you two are in love!??"

...

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