My Yandere Tamer System: Every Beast Becomes a Sexy Goddess

Chapter 158: [R-18+] My Ice Queen Went Back Through Her Own Books and Found Them Wrong

Selah did not confront Yara.

She waited until the room was empty, until the pack was scattered across the festival and Soren was on the floor and nobody was watching her not sleep, and then she sat down with months of her own accounting and started at the beginning.

The rationing wasn’t written anywhere.

It lived in her body and in her head, a running balance she’d carried so long she’d stopped noticing she was carrying it.

Every degree the pack drew off Soren, she tracked.

Every draw had a weight, and every weight had to be paid, and she’d built a schedule across the week so that no single day took more than the soul could make back by morning.

She had believed she was running it clean for all this time.

She wrote the six in her head.

Yara. Herself. Maren. Dani. Mona. Joan.

Then she stopped on the last name, because the last name had never once had a number.

◆◆◆◆

Joan cost nothing.

But Selah had never checked whether Joan was actually a zero.

It was a hole she’d painted the same color as the floor.

She reran the week with Joan as an unknown instead of a zero.

That was the first wrong number.

The second one was worse, because the second one wasn’t a thing she’d failed to measure.

It was a thing that had been hidden from her.

Selah sat very still with the two wrong numbers.

One was her own blind spot. Joan, the zero she’d never checked.

One was a thing Yara had been quietly doing, eating from a source Selah couldn’t see and couldn’t name and hadn’t authorized.

And under both holes, the same shape: someone deciding, privately, that they were the exception.

Joan by being uncountable.

Yara by whatever Yara was doing that filled her without touching the shared soul.

◆◆◆◆

Soren came back after the floor closed.

Selah was still at the table.

He read her posture before he’d finished coming through the door, the same as he read everyone’s, and he sat down across from her and waited, because you did not rush Selah to a sentence she’d decided to say slowly.

"My books are wrong," she said.

"How wrong?"

"Two holes. One’s mine. One isn’t." She turned her hands over on the table, the frost trace steady at the nails. "I’ll fix mine. The other one I can’t fix, because I don’t understand it yet, and I’m not going to pretend I do."

Soren reached for her across the table.

His fingers closed around her wrist.

The frost bloomed instantly under his touch, white flowers opening across her skin.

She did not pull away.

He stood and drew her up with him.

They crossed the small room to the bed without speaking.

She sat on the edge.

He knelt in front of her and slid his hands up her thighs.

Her skin was cool beneath his palms.

She shivered once, a sharp breath escaping her.

"Ahh..."

He kissed the inside of her knee.

Then higher, his mouth tracing a slow path.

The frost spread from her hands down his arms in thin crystalline lines.

She gasped again, louder this time.

"Mmh..."

His tongue reached the junction of her thighs.

She was already wet and cold at the same time.

He licked once, deliberate.

Her hips jerked.

"Ahh... Soren..."

He kept going, tasting her, the cold of her body mixing with the heat of his mouth.

Her fingers tangled in his hair, gripping hard.

The frost climbed higher on his shoulders, small blooms forming and melting against his skin.

She moaned again, the sound breaking.

"Ahh..."

Soren rose and pushed her back onto the bed.

Her legs parted for him.

He stripped the rest of her clothes away, then his own.

Her breasts were pale and cool under his hands.

He took one nipple into his mouth and sucked.

She arched hard.

"Ahh... ahh..."

He entered her in one slow thrust.

Selah was tight and icy inside, clenching around him. Soren moved, deep and steady.

Her legs locked around his waist.

The frost exploded outward from her hands across the sheets in a sudden white web.

She came with a broken cry.

"Ahh...!"

Her body locked tight around him, cold pulsing through her core.

He followed seconds later, burying himself deep as the bond flared bright between them.

They stayed locked together, breathing hard.

Her frost slowly melted off his skin in rivulets.

Afterward she lay with her head on his chest, one hand resting over his heart.

The frost trace at her nails had steadied again.

Neither of them spoke for a long time.

But she had one thing she was going to say, and she’d been building toward it since she sat down, and she said it now.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Ask."

"If I told you exactly how much each of us costs you," Selah said. "Down to the degree. Every draw, every night, sourced and named. Would you use it to protect yourself, or to spend yourself evenly?"

Soren opened his mouth.

Nothing came out that was true, so he didn’t say the thing that wasn’t.

They both knew the answer.

If Selah handed him a perfect accounting of his own cost, sourced and named to the degree, he would not use it to take less. He would use it to make sure no one of them took more than the others, to spend himself flat and even across all six so that none of them ever felt like the expensive one.

He would spend himself evenly.

That was the thing that was killing him, and it was the exact thing he would do with better numbers, and Selah had just proven she was the one person in the pack who could see it clearly enough to say it out loud.

She did not say it out loud.

She had asked the question so she wouldn’t have to.

Soren did not answer, and Selah let him not answer, and the frost trace at her nails held steady in the dark.