Chapter 156: Chapter 155 - More Than Listening
The rain started the moment the final bell sounded throughout the entire school.
Students headed towards the main exit, raising their umbrellas and grumbling over the weather conditions.
Kuro stood by the locker of the students’ shoes, watching the rain falling in the courtyard.
"...It seems I’ll be going home all wet."
"Not today."
Kuro turned his gaze towards the owner of the voice speaking from behind him.
She was holding a black umbrella above her.
"Let’s go somewhere else."
He blinked.
"...Again?"
She gave a small smile.
"Why do you make me sound like I’m planning something?"
"Usually are."
"Well then..."
---
An hour later, the two were already seated on the train leading to the neighboring city.
Raindrops were rushing on the windows.
Kuro took a look out and then to Minami.
"Don’t tell me you’re not going to tell me where we’re going."
"Yes."
"Shall I be worried?"
"No."
"Maybe slightly?"
"Maybe."
She chuckled softly.
"I want you to meet someone."
"A teacher?"
"No."
"A psychologist."
He instantly paid attention.
"The one you mentioned earlier?"
She nodded.
"One of my former students."
"Her name is Haruka."
"When she was your age, she was also confused."
---
The train stopped near a residential area which wasn’t very close to the shopping street next to the station.
It was tranquil here.
A couple of cafes.
Book stores.
A local park in which children were playing underneath colorful umbrellas despite the raining.
They walked further and soon found themselves in front of a small two-story house.
Its entrance was marked with a wooden sign.
Kizuna Counseling Center
It certainly didn’t resemble any hospital.
Its walls weren’t painted with a bright white color.
There wasn’t a smell of disinfectant.
Behind the transparent windows, Kuro could spot shelves with books, comfortable seats and a pleasant lighting.
"It’s..."
He searched for words.
"...cozy."
She smiled.
"That’s intentional."
---
A kind receptionist greeted them.
"Sempai, it’s been quite some time."
"Indeed has."
"Haruka-sama is expecting you."
They took off their shoes and entered the building.
The hallway was decorated with paintings by children.
Some were bright and colorful while others seemed quite simple, drawn only with the help of some basic shapes.
However, each and every painting was neatly framed.
Kuro stopped in the middle of the hallway.
"These works are..."
"Gifts," answered the receptionist.
"From our clients."
Kuro examined the artworks more closely.
Someone really cared enough about them to frame them so nicely.
---
The door opened at the end of the hallway.
Out stepped a young woman of her late twenties.
She wore only a cardigan but not a usual coat worn by doctors.
There was a serene smile on her face.
Not because she never smiled, but because she never needed to force a smile.
As soon as Haruka saw her, her face brightened even more.
"Haruka-sama."
"Pleasure to see you."
She smiled happily.
"You’ve grown a lot."
"Hopefully so," laughed the girl.
And then she turned her attention towards Kuro.
"So this is your famous student."
"...Famous?"
Minami innocently avoided her gaze.
"I’ve mentioned him to you once or twice."
She chuckled softly.
"More like every month."
Kuro sighed heavily.
"I knew it."
---
They sat in a small conference room.
Coffee was offered to them.
It was quite cozy there.
Soft sofas.
A shelf with various literature books on it.
Even a small plant near the window.
Everything was warm and cozy here.
Kuro relaxed unintentionally and Haruka noticed it.
"You can feel it."
"Hm?"
"The ambiance."
She smiled.
"We designed it in a way to make people comfortable even before they start talking."
Kuro took a look around.
"So even the furniture serves a purpose here?"
"Of course it does."
---
After some brief chitchatting, Haruka suddenly turned to him.
"So."
"Have you decided to become a psychologist?"
Kuro nodded.
"Yes, I guess so."
"And why did you choose it?"
He paused for a bit, thinking.
"Well... because I enjoy helping people."
"I like listening to them."
"And..."
He gave an uncomfortable smile.
"I understood that I feel the happiest when I see that someone left happier than before."
Silence followed as Haruka carefully listened to him.
And then asked:
"And what happens when they don’t?"
The question surprised him.
"Well..."
"Imagine that nothing has changed inside of them."
"What if they’re still feeling miserable?"
"What if you tried every method possible..."
"...But none of them helped?"
Kuro didn’t answer.
---
She gave a soft smile.
"That’s the starting point of many people."
"And the point where many give up."
She clasped her hands.
"Many assume that psychologists are the ones who repair the broken lives of others."
"We don’t."
"We can’t."
He looked surprised.
"Is it impossible?"
"No."
She shook her head firmly.
"We aren’t solving their problems."
"We’re only guiding them through."
"There is a difference."
---
Minami observed the ongoing dialogue, remembering how she had asked the same questions years ago.
Back then...
She also believed that kindness was enough to save people.
But reality quickly proved the opposite.
---
Haruka stood.
"Now, come with me."
She led them down to another hallway.
"This place is intended for observations only."
"No recordings."
"No personal data."
"Everything remains confidential."
Kuro seriously nodded.
"I got it."
"Good."
They stopped in front of a thick transparent window.
"Apartments inside will be used for the trainees."
Kuro gazed through the window.
There were only two chairs facing each other.
No desks, no computers.
Nothing.
Only an empty space.
"It seems..."
"Simple?"
She smiled.
"Yes."
---
And at that moment, another psychologist came into the room accompanied by a middle-aged man.
This last one looked exhausted.
He had his shoulders lowered.
There were dark circles under his eyes.
However, neither noticed they were being observed from behind the glass.
The psychologist smiled politely to him.
"Thank you for agreeing to come."
He stayed silent for an entire minute, staring at the floor.
Kuro couldn’t hold back and frown.
"Shouldn’t they talk to each other?"
Haruka shook her head.
"No."
"But..."
"If we hurry to fill every silence..."
"We will interrupt the very moment the client gains the courage to speak."
Kuro turned to look at the room once again.
And then, after almost another minute...
The man whispered quietly.
"I’m tired."
Only three words but somehow...
He conveyed years of tiredness through them.
The psychologist didn’t stop him nor did she offer any immediate solutions.
Instead, she only nodded to him gently.
"I’m glad you told me."
Kuro listened to this scene silently.
He imagined that counseling involved plenty of talking.
However, he found out that sometimes...
The key moment comes during silence.
Haruka looked at him with her eyes.
"So, you’ve noticed, huh?"
Kuro’s gaze didn’t leave the room.
"...Listening isn’t only about words."
Haruka smiled at him.
"No."
"Sometimes, you should keep your words to yourself."
Kuro remained silent.
For the first time since he made a decision to become a psychologist...
Kuro didn’t move an inch before the observation window.
Finally, the middle-aged man inside the room looked up.
"I haven’t slept well in months."
"My family says it’s all because I’m working too much."
"My colleagues say I should take a vacation."
He chuckled softly.
"But they don’t seem to understand."
Kuro didn’t hear the words the psychologist across from him saying next.
She only nodded.
"Do you think they don’t understand anything in particular?"
There was silence for almost two minutes this time.
Kuro instinctively wanted to talk.
To encourage.
To comfort.
Haruka gently touched him on the shoulder to indicate that it might not be such a good idea.
Finally, the man broke his silence.
"I’m not sure it’s the stress of work making me sleep badly."
"I feel like..."
He paused.
"...like I am tired of pretending I am fine."
Kuro’s eyes widened.
This statement was far heavier than anything he heard before.
The psychologist leaned a little forward towards the patient.
"That must have been hard to carry."
"Yes,"
he nodded.
Then, finally, in the few minutes following his admission...
He cried.
But not in an hysterical way.
Not loud.
Just silent tears flowing down his face.
Kuro observed with fascination as Haruka silently offered him a box of tissues.
Not a word of consolation.
Not a promise of recovery.
No unnecessary actions to break the fragile moment.
When they left the observation room after a couple of minutes, Kuro still couldn’t stop staring at the door behind him.
Haruka led the two of them back to the meeting room.
Pouring Kuro another cup of tea, she sat across from him.
"What have you noticed?"
The student took his time.
"...She didn’t talk much."
His professor smiled.
"And?"
"He found the courage to say everything."
"That’s right,"
she nodded.
"People think this profession is all about giving advice."
"Nope."
"It is about creating an environment in which people feel secure enough to tell themselves the truth."
Kuro lowered his eyes.
"I think..."
"I would’ve made a mistake."
"A mistake in what sense?"
"In...trying to cheer him up."
Haruka nodded.
"Every beginner makes that."
"Is that wrong?"
"Absolutely."
"Why?"
She paused.
"If somebody says to you..."
"That I’ve lost something precious to me..."
"and my immediate reaction is..."
"...that everything will be alright."
"Whose pain have I just made easier to endure?"
"...Mine."
"I wish for the pain to go away."
"Therefore, I rush to erase it."
Kuro looked at her intently.
"But there is some pain worth acknowledging before healing."
Minami smiled sadly.
She could see the same look on his face when she listened to the lecture.
Several years ago...
She had worn it before.
The professor took out her notebook from the drawer.
"This used to belong to me during my internship."
Handing Kuro the book, she pointed to the first page.
There was a single sentence written there:
You are not the hero of someone else’s story.
Kuro read it twice.
"...What does it mean?"
"It means their life belongs to them."
"We aren’t here to rescue them."
"But to accompany them along the way."
She smiled gently.
"If a client begins depending on us rather than growing..."
"We have failed."
Kuro slowly nodded.
"So by trying to be overly helpful..."
"We can actually harm our clients."
"Yes."
"Which makes having boundaries crucial."
She paused.
"When my workday ends..."
"I return home."
"I spend quality time with my family."
"I read novels."
"I enjoy myself."
"And I rest."
Kuro raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Isn’t that selfish?"
Haruka laughed aloud.
"Once I asked that to my mentor."
"And?"
"He taught me a lesson that I will never forget."
She smiled as she recalled her words.
«"If you keep carrying all your clients’ pain in your heart after they leave..."»
«"One day you will not be able to bear the burden."»
Kuro looked down at his hands.
Thinking about Yui...
He recalled her sleeping peacefully beside him as late night approached.
He worried about his friends endlessly...
Without considering whether he was taking care of himself.
Fortunately, Haruka understood him.
"You have a certain look."
"What kind of look?"
"The one typical for compassionate people."
She clasped her hands.
"You think by being more empathic..."
"...you can help your clients better."
The student nodded quietly.
"Yes."
"You are correct."
"That compassion without boundaries..."
"...eventually turns into self-exhaustion."
"And afterwards..."
"It will inevitably turn into resentment."
"And nobody wins."
Kuro sighed in relief.
Minami, finally joining their conversation, smiled.
"Kuro."
"Yes?"
"Don’t you remember Yui?"
He nodded.
"She turned to you before her medical exam."
"However..."
"You never urged her to study."
"Or try to solve everything for her."
"You just were there."
Haruka smiled warmly.
"That’s why she trusted you."
"Not because you knew all the answers."
"Because you allowed her..."
"...to find hers own."
Kuro closed his eyes as he remembered their nights in the library together.
He hadn’t done anything deliberate.
Just been there when she needed him.
"I get it a bit better now."
Haruka nodded.
"Excellent."
"But understanding alone isn’t enough."
She stood up and walked to the bookshelf.
Grabbing one thick textbook after another, she put them before Kuro.
"The science."
Then the other.
"The ethics."
Another one.
"The laws."
Finally, the last one.
"Human development."
Kuro stared at the pile of books.
"...Quite a bit of reading."
Haruka laughed aloud.
"This profession will require you..."
"...not only to comprehend the nature of people."
"But also of yourself."
Looking at her student seriously, she said:
"If you ever become a psychologist..."
"People will share with you things they have never told anyone."
"That privilege is a great responsibility."
Kuro nodded solemnly.
"I won’t forget that."
As they were leaving, she walked with them to the entrance.
The rain was gone.
Evening sunbeams illuminated the dark clouds.
Finally stepping out on the street, Kuro heard her voice calling him.
"Kuro."
"Yes?"
"I’ve met many students like you."
"They admired the profession."
"They wished to help others."
She smiled warmly.
"You are the first I met who has been already doing that..."
"...before picking up the profession itself."
Kuro was astonished.
"...Really?"
"True."
"You still have a lot of things to learn."
"To make mistakes."
"To be uncertain sometimes."
"Just try to not forget the reason you began."
Shaking his hand, she smiled:
"I hope we meet again sometime."
Kuro nodded firmly.
"As I hope."
The young men continued their way to the station.
The sky was brightly colored with orange hues.
Neither of them said a word for a few minutes.
Finally, Kuro broke the silence:
"I used to think..."
"...listening was enough."
Minami smiled warmly at him.
"Then?"
He looked up.
"...Now I realize..."
"That it is only the beginning."
There was still information to learn.
Skills to develop.
Ethics to follow.
Boundaries to respect.
This road seemed to become longer before him...
But surprisingly, he felt only more encouraged.
For the first time in his life...
He wasn’t striving for perfection anymore.
He was getting closer to reality.
And although the latter seemed quite difficult...
He wished to take the steps anyway.
More than anything else.
