Chapter 11: Chapter 11
Chapter 11 - Then I’ll Simply Feel It Again
There is a story about blind men and an elephant.
In summary, three blind men were each asked to touch a different part of an elephant and then explain what an elephant was, yet all three gave different answers.
The lesson of that story is that one cannot judge the whole from only a part.
However, there are also things so unmistakably clear that even seeing just a fragment is enough to understand the whole.
For Ferda, at this very moment, it was the beauty of Valdrova before him.
All he could see was her chin and lips.
Her jawline, as flawless and pure as porcelain, stole Ferda’s gaze.
The lips resting above it were as red and glossy as an apple kissed by the morning dew.
Just from seeing the lower half of her face, Ferda understood.
The person who would become his lifelong partner was a woman.
And she was a peerless beauty unlike anyone he had ever seen before.
As all of that information flowed into his mind, Ferda couldn’t understand what he was feeling.
So he simply stared silently at her lips.
Valdrova parted her lips, and the engagement wine flowed between them.
It slowly slipped through the narrow opening until, at last, the cup was emptied.
At that moment, Ferda sensed a strange change within his body.
The fear of dragons that had been engraved into his very being was disappearing.
"Mortals shall cast aside fear by escaping the unknown, and thus become one."
It was exactly as Luri had said.
His primal fear of dragons was fading away.
’They truly prepared so much for the sake of ordinary humans.’
The true purpose of this engagement ceremony was to allow both sides to face each other without fear.
Because of that, Ferda was able to feel it once more.
The anticipation she had once held...
And the pain she had felt when those hopes were shattered.
As Ferda continued gazing at her, the helmet shaped like a dragon’s head shifted slightly in his direction.
Its eyeholes glanced toward him before quickly turning away.
’I suppose I stared for too long.’
Ferda turned his head and quietly stood in place.
"Next, we shall proceed with the reading of your vows to one another."
Looking as though she found the entire situation utterly disagreeable, Luri handed the turn over to Ferda.
Valdrova lowered her head and waited silently.
Ferda slowly exhaled, steadying the tremor in his voice until it became clear and composed.
"You do not know much about me."
It had taken Ferda an entire day to write that single sentence.
Expressing the very first words of his feelings had been that difficult for him.
"But I know you."
And after much thought, this was the answer he had arrived at.
"You gave me your heart. Through your heart, I caught glimpses of you and learned who you are."
To honestly reveal everything he felt to her.
"I saw you betrayed countless times. I saw people slander you. They hated you over and over again."
Clink.
Each time Ferda recited another line of his vow, the suit of armor trembled.
"And yet, you fulfilled your duty with unwavering dignity. You never turned your back on what you wished to love, and you continued loving until the very end. It was your nobility that set me back on the right path."
He believed this was the best choice he could make.
"So here, before all present, I make this vow. Just as you gave me your heart, this time I shall offer mine to you. My Lady, my everything."
That was the end of the vows written by Ferda.
"Although... this part wasn’t written in my vows..."
But Ferda had not yet finished speaking.
He raised his head and looked at Valdrova.
The moment his eyes met those of the dragon-headed helmet, he immediately lowered his head.
Clink. Clink.
Still wearing her armor, she fidgeted politely with her hands clasped together.
"It is an incredible honor to become engaged to a beauty such as yourself."
The iron helmet lurched violently.
Luri stared at Ferda expressionlessly.
Though inwardly, every fiber of her being was curling up in secondhand embarrassment.
"Now then, the bride-to-be shall read her vows—"
Luri suddenly stopped speaking.
Valdrova had raised a hand, signaling her to stop.
"What is the matter?"
"..."
Valdrova gave no reply.
Instead, she simply turned around and began walking away.
Wondering if she was preparing something, everyone quietly watched her.
Valdrova returned to her Lair.
Boom.
Then she shut the enormous door behind her.
"..."
"..."
Valdrova had left without reading her vows.
Ferda and Luri simply stared at the tightly closed gate.
"...The engagement ceremony has been successfully concluded."
And just like that, the ceremony came to an end.
Although Valdrova had never read her vows, everything necessary had already been done, so there was no reason to dwell on it.
"Well then, let us return."
Luri called out to Ferda.
However, no answer came back.
Faced with such a one-sided ending, he merely stood there, staring intently at the great iron gate.
"Lord Ferda?"
Luri called to him once more.
Ferda, who had been lost in thought as though possessed by something, finally spoke again.
"I’m sorry, but would it be possible for me to enter seclusion for about three days?"
"By seclusion, you mean...?"
"I mean exactly that. I’ll neither eat nor drink and will spend the time alone. In other words, I don’t want anyone interfering with me."
He had declared that he would lock himself away without food or water.
To Luri, it sounded like this.
’The shock must have hit him quite hard.’
The ceremony had called for both of them to read vows to each other.
But in the end, only he had read his, while the other party had simply disappeared behind the iron gate.
Naturally, Ferda must have been deeply embarrassed.
"I understand."
The crescent-shaped smile lingering on Luri’s lips refused to fade.
***
"As expected of you, Master. With this, the initiative has completely shifted into your hands."
Luri entered Valdrova’s Lair, applauding her.
Valdrova had already returned to her dragon form.
She lay coiled upon herself, her head buried beneath one of her wings.
Valdrova had repeatedly fumbled throughout the engagement ceremony, yet to Luri, her final decisive action carried great significance.
"I never imagined that would be your strategy. A completely one-sided hit-and-run."
"..."
"You made him read all those embarrassingly sweet vows aloud, left him utterly mortified, and then ended everything on your own terms. The momentum on his side must have completely collapsed."
"..."
"...But judging by your reaction, it seems that wasn’t your intention after all."
Luri’s delighted expression gradually became blank as Valdrova remained silent.
Finally, Valdrova lifted her head from beneath her wing.
"I... also wished to read my vows. As one welcoming a lifelong partner..."
"...I think I understand."
Luri turned her gaze toward something she had deliberately been avoiding.
Valdrova had prepared just as thoroughly.
She knew exactly how many sheets of paper Ferda had crumpled while writing his vows.
’Ten sheets.’
The result had been a single page of vows.
Not too long.
Just the right amount.
But Valdrova’s vows...
’A full twenty pages.’
And every single page had been densely filled on both sides.
Just writing them had consumed more than three entire notebooks’ worth of discarded paper.
A surprisingly innocent maiden’s heart, completely at odds with the infamous Grand Duchess.
If anyone other than her fiancé had read them, it would have been unbearably embarrassing.
But Luri had served Valdrova as her Attendant for several centuries.
At this point, all she could do was let out a weary sigh.
"If you were that happy about it, why didn’t you read them when the ceremony began?"
"That was..."
Valdrova’s mouth moved slightly.
"I couldn’t look at him."
Luri tilted her head.
"What do you mean you couldn’t look at him?"
"Meeting those eyes... I didn’t have the courage to speak."
With the terrifying face and voice of a dragon, she spoke like an embarrassed young girl.
"That gray hair... those sharp eyes that seemed to see right through me... and that gentle voice..."
"..."
"As I looked at him... my mind went completely blank... and I couldn’t do anything."
"...My own mind is going completely blank as well."
"Then... do you understand how I feel?"
At that moment, Luri felt as though she wanted to burst her own eardrums and cough up blood.
"Anyway."
Afraid she might end up yelling again if she listened any longer, Luri forcibly changed the subject.
"From now on, your future husband will begin fulfilling the role of the lady of the house. He’ll manage this castle and the territories under it."
"That... I already know well enough."
"And humans..."
"...Begin to change once they obtain power."
"..."
Power.
At that single word, Valdrova’s cheerful mood immediately settled down.
The Third Prince.
The Third Prince, whom she herself had killed, still continued to haunt her.
Although it had happened decades ago, to her, who had lived for what felt like eternity, it was as recent as yesterday.
"That is simply how mortals live, carried forward by the passage of time. You should always be prepared for disappointment, my Master, great ruler."
"I understand..."
Valdrova’s gaze drifted into the distance as she sank into deep thought.
The innocent young girl who had just faced a human became an immortal once more.
Pouring cold water over such a joyous day was hardly pleasant for Luri, either.
’But it’s necessary.’
Just as even a war hero passing beneath a triumphal arch must remember that he is merely human...
One must also understand that everything one cherishes and loves is destined to either change or disappear someday.
That was the best advice Luri, both a Dragon Spawn and Valdrova’s most loyal servant, could offer.
***
As soon as the engagement ceremony ended, Ferda immediately entered seclusion.
Unlike Luri, who believed he had locked himself away out of embarrassment and shock, Ferda simply needed time to be alone.
’That feeling I experienced while looking at her...’
While writing the vows, Ferda had merely written down whatever naturally came to mind.
But when he actually spoke those words aloud, he felt something that had been lying dormant deep within him slowly rising to the surface.
It had even driven him to add words that weren’t written in the vows.
’Why did I do something like that?’
Ferda knew.
He knew that saying those words would undoubtedly fluster her.
He knew it could even ruin the ceremony.
’And yet... I had to say them.’
It had been an irrational impulse.
He felt that if he didn’t say them at that very moment, it would somehow be too late.
Drawn along by that impulse, Ferda had ultimately left Valdrova flustered, and the engagement ceremony had not gone according to plan.
’Why?’
Holding onto that question, Ferda slowly closed his eyes.
He carefully replayed all five of his senses, drawing back the sights he had witnessed and the emotions he had felt.
He repeated the memory dozens of times to ensure he wasn’t drawing the wrong conclusion.
Eventually, he arrived at an answer.
’It really was that moment.’
The brief instant when she drank the engagement wine.
The sight of her in that moment had completely captivated him.
The emotions he experienced then had made him cease to be himself for an instant.
Not Ferda the Grand Mage...
But simply Ferda, a man.
’But what should I call this feeling?’
To find the answer, Ferda recalled only the single moment when those emotions had reached their absolute peak.
Again and again...
He repeated it solely to uncover that answer.
At that moment, Ferda felt something stirring.
Inside the circle already formed beneath his Dantian, something was spinning violently.
As that driving force grew stronger, his chest became increasingly hot.
’The Red Circle is moving.’
It was like an unstoppable torrent rushing through him.
At the same time, it felt violent enough to swallow him whole.
’This could be dangerous...’
Instead of seeking the answer, Ferda focused on the sensation itself.
He had only two choices.
Either distract himself and calm the Red Circle...
Or immerse himself in that emotion and stir it even further.
’Suppressing it would be the wiser choice.’
Allowing it to intensify was no different from placing a blade against his own throat.
Even for Ferda, who had once been a Grand Mage, it was an extremely dangerous decision.
’But if I wish to become someone worthy of Grand Duchess Valdrova...’
Then he would have to risk danger.
That was the resolve Ferda had made when he stepped into Valdrova’s domain.
’Let’s do it.’
Ferda focused all of his consciousness on a single point.
Creating a second Circle was similar to creating the first.
However, unlike the first time, there was no vague uncertainty.
The process felt much clearer.
’The real problem is that I simply don’t have enough Mana to build it up.’
Breaking through to the next Circle was like breaking out of an egg.
To reach a new world, one had to shatter one’s own shell and prove oneself.
Doing so required a sturdy beak and sufficient strength.
In this case, those roles were played by Mana and mental strength.
Ferda possessed both.
’First... concentrate...’
Ferda closed his eyes and steadied himself.
He lowered his consciousness deep within.
At the same time, his five senses gradually faded.
The sound of his heartbeat disappeared.
Even the sensation of time flowing across his skin vanished.
At last, nothing remained that could interfere with Ferda.
Only his pure consciousness remained.
Within his mind, Ferda drew a line.
That line became a guide.
The turbulent Mana began flowing along the path he had traced.
Without resisting Mana’s natural disposition, he gently guided it toward a new destination.
The small stream branching off from the great river steadily widened until it eventually formed the shell of another circle.
’Now... layer it over.’
A new circle surrounding the one already created.
He slowly refined its shape, making the outline of the Circle increasingly distinct.
For a full forty-eight hours, Ferda devoted himself to nothing but shaping it.
At last, it was complete.
Within Ferda’s Dantian, two circles now revolved.
Ferda had become a Second-Circle Spell Blower.
"Hmm..."
Although he had become a Second-Circle mage after only a few days, Ferda was not entirely satisfied.
’The emotion has already faded.’
The moment the new path opened and he reached the Second Circle, the emotion itself had reached its conclusion.
That tingling feeling had become a part of Ferda.
Even recalling the memory no longer filled him with the same excitement.
’That’s the weakness of the Red Circle.’
It constantly craves stronger stimulation.
Once the excitement fades, progress comes to a halt.
Eventually, one either becomes a monster consumed by emotion...
Or ends up as something neither here nor there.
’Then I’ll simply feel it again.’
Although he regretted not discovering the true answer, he felt no impatience.
The next time he stood before her...
He was certain this feeling would swell within him once more.
A smile spread across Ferda’s face.
***
"When you said you were going into seclusion, I suspected something like this... but you’ve already reached the Second Circle?"
"That’s right."
A mage who had reached the Second Circle in only three days.
It had been barely over a month since he first arrived here, yet he had gone from an ordinary man to a Second-Circle mage in the blink of an eye.
’An absurd rate of growth.’
Even if he was only at the Second Circle, his growth alone was worthy of awe.
"So this is where I’ll be working from now on?"
"Yes. Though you’ll only possess authority as an acting representative."
Ferda and Luri stood inside the Grand Duchess’s office.
The room was furnished with aged brown wood.
Everything within it had been optimized for administrative work, while at the same time radiating the overwhelming dignity of its owner.
When Ferda first stepped inside, he had instinctively felt as though a monarch must surely be sitting before him.
While taking in the atmosphere, Ferda asked Luri,
"So, now that I’m officially her fiancé... I simply proceed from here?"
"As I explained before, the first task is recruiting capable people. Since the Grand Duchess will soon begin acting personally, someone needs to fill the position she’ll be leaving."
"Yes, I remember. But can I really make that decision on my own?"
"Of course not, Lord Ferda."
Luri picked up an object resting on the table and held it out.
"However... this can."
It was the official royal seal of Grand Duchess Valdrova.
The seal carried authority equal to its owner.
There was a reason people said to treat the royal seal with the same respect as the ruler.
"Recruiting talented people..."
If someone suddenly asked him to appoint personnel, most would first ask for time.
Normally, taking at least two days to think it over carefully would have been the wisest course.
"...No."
"I already know exactly who."
Yet Ferda’s pen moved across the paper without the slightest hesitation.
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