Chapter 1616: Chapter 1615: Hopeful Prayer
Finding time to be away from my pups and away from the general chaos of everything that was happening took quite a lot of effort on its own, so because of that I was absolutely determined to ensure that those moments were able to last as long as I could make them last.
Currently I was hiding away in my closet, clutching the phoenix pendant that Anput had made for me oh so long ago and using this moment to clear my head doing something that only ever seemed to come around every so often for me, and that was pray.
Praying to a Goddess that I knew was up there listening and watching, praying to not only show the devotion that I had - even if it came at irregular intervals - but also to just have something clutching my mind besides thoughts about my pups and wives.
Even still I ended up praying more often than not for them rather than for myself, but it was still a sort of relaxing experience to be here, in the peaceful quiet, calmly holding onto something as I ’communed’ with some greater power.
It was a good way for me to ’rejuvenate’ my exhausted mind and spirit, to reset myself before I had to go back downstairs and listen to Mother or Anput when they told me all about how Camilla did this or Nicoletta did that.
How Astra instigated something or Samara goaded someone else, how they caused a unified ruckus at my prolonged absence or how they all gathered around Gabrielle and made her feel uncomfortable.
All of that was valid and all of it were things that I needed to hear, but sometimes I wanted to fool myself and tell myself that I didn’t need to hear about them just yet, that there wasn’t a need for me to do anything else...
The memories of how unbothered and ’ungrateful’ I had been when I had had all of this free time to do nothing made me a tad bit regretful since now I had extremely little spare time to do what I wanted, and yet I also knew that if someone asked me if I wanted to go back I would stab them in the throat before even considering it.
My pups had become such a gigantic part of my life in such a short amount of time, and already it felt foreign to even think about just having some prolonged ’me’ time, let alone going back to long stretches where I could do anything I wanted whenever I wanted.
That was why I cherished these stolen moments of prayer oh so often, though my prayers were always targeted towards something that would steal away even these precious moments because... well, to put it simply, I was praying that sometime soon I would get pregnant with Jahi’s baby.
I wanted Reincantra to bless me with another bout of fertility that would allow the Demoness to sow her seed inside of my womb just like Anput had, even if it meant waiting many years longer for another sign of life to sprout from my womb.
I so badly wanted to have Jahi’s baby, primarily from a place of deep, raw and devoted love for the Demoness that held my Soul alongside her own, but also because I could see how devastated she was now that the pups and Gabrielle had been born.
Seeing the three of us having children to care for was eating away at my Demoness, and even after all this time she was such a horrific and incapable liar, telling all of us that she was fine and that it really didn’t bother her.
I could feel it and we all could see it on her face or in her eyes; it wasn’t her fault for feeling bitter about this, and she did a wonderful job letting her positive emotions win out for a majority of the time she spent with us, but during those seldom few moments of quiet...
It was as plain as day that she was feeling bitter and depressed, and no number of platitudes or sexual acts brought her any true comfort from what she was feeling... so I prayed to Reincantra to help me with this single ’problem’ I had.
Perhaps she was truly listening, because as I was mid murmur pleading with my Goddess to grant Jahi’s wish, the Demoness pushed the door open and stepped inside, looking down at me curiously as she quietly asked "Did I interrupt..?"
Opening my eyes and turning to look at her, I chuckled and shook my head even as I kept my hands clasped, something she noticed as she swept her amethyst eyes over me like she always did; tilting her head and mulling on it for a moment, she eventually just shrugged and crouched beside me, looking me over again and smiling as she gently caressed my cheek.
"What were you praying for?"
I leaned into her touch and held her gaze for a few seconds, wondering if I should say it or not before just going with what my heart was telling me; taking a breath and letting my gaze drop to her lips for a moment, I murmured "I was praying for us."
"Us?"
Her confusion lasted for barely a second before a grin slid across her face, slowly reaching her eyes as she got onto a knee and shifted behind me, pulling me into her grasp and burying her face into my neck as she asked "Was it for us or for something created by us..?"
My hum just made her chuckle as she nodded a few times, kissing my neck tenderly before she gently pushed me forwards, where I let her roll me onto my back so that she could pin me to the ground and stare at me as she started to peel off my clothes one by one.
When we were both bare she trailed her lips over every available inch that she wished to claim, even when she used another part of herself to claim me like she always had; it was a slow, gentle claiming that took Goddess knows how long, but by the time we were finished both of us were feeling rejuvenated...
And both of us missed how the phoenix glittered for a brief moment before the fading back into its usual state.
