Chapter 481: Files
"Come with me," Zagan said to her, taking her by the hand and leading her through the wrecked woods and ruins to the castle.
Penelope glanced back at the four who watched them depart curiously. They didn’t seem surprised that Zagan was whisking her away, and they didn’t complain. August said something to Nedra who moved closer to her to hear, and then they were all out of sight once Penelope walked through the door of the castle.
Zagan and she wordlessly climbed the side staircase that led to the floor where his office and bedroom were. Once they arrived at his office door, he brought her inside behind him and only let go of her hand once he approached the adjoining door to his bedroom.
"Zagan..." she finally spoke. Why was he bringing here now? And into his bedroom? "We... we don’t have time for this," she breathed.
"Then this is not what you think," he chuckled softly, placing his palm against the knob before wrapping his fingers around it and giving it a quick turn. He glanced at her before he opened the door, something remorseful in his eyes as if he were second guessing what he was about to show her. But he pushed the door further open and walked inside, holding it open as she followed him in.
The room was pitch black. Once she was in far enough that he could close the door behind her, he walked to the wall and flipped a switch. The room illuminated with a soft glow, lights resembling candles lining the walls along with a candelabra hanging from the ceiling.
Her eyes darted to his four poster bed, which appeared to not have been slept in for some time. There was another desk nearby, though it was smaller than the one in his office. A book laid open on its surface, waiting for him to return. And there was an entire wall of filing cabinets.
Zagan walked to one of the filing cabinets and placed a hand on top. "This would only be the start, Pen."
The nickname made something flutter in her chest even as she frowned at his words. "What do you mean? What is that?"
Zagan rested a hand on his head miserably, ruffling the hair that was there. "Names of the alyko I have had who would know to ask about me. That can break the enchantment, am I right?"
Penelope’s mouth dropped open, and she walked to the cabinet, opening a drawer. There were rows upon rows upon rows of files. So many alyko...
A heavy weight started to bear down her chest, and her eyes snapped to Zagan’s. She was feeling his own guilt as if it were her own. And no wonder he felt guilty. This was... so much. So many lives.
She opened another drawer down below, and he walked away from where he had been standing next to the cabinet, unable to look at her. Unable to face the horror that had made itself apparent on her face.
Penelope gulped, seeking the ’W’ section. She had to see it. She had to know how many Winters he had taken.
When she found her last name, her hand froze before she pulled out a pile and brought it to his desk.
"Lucy, Emily, Saffi, Hannah..." she said softly, flipping through the files. "Audie..." she wet her lips. "I knew you had some of us, but..." She quickly closed the file, squeezing her eyes shut. These were more than she was aware of.
"How long have you been doing this?" She asked, her mouth going dry. "How long have you been searching for me without realizing it?"
Zagan’s brows knitted together at the way she characterized it, but he didn’t answer. He just stared at her with an overwhelming guilt in his eyes. If he tried to speak of it, he wasn’t sure his voice would manage. He had hurt so many. How could he explain that to her? There was no way she would look at him the same way.
"Okay, um," her hands started trembling, and she placed them palms down on the folder to stop them from being obvious.
She knew that Zagan was like this. It wasn’t news. She shouldn’t be surprised. That was why she had wanted to find a way to kill him so badly. That was why she had aided Eliade. That was why August was altered the way that she was. The toll may not make sense, it may be absolutely horrifying, but somehow... someway, even if she couldn’t understand it, there was a balance to all of this. There was a reason.
"Okay," she repeated for herself more than for him. "First of all, you are wrong," she said, standing from the chair. It was not time to dwell on the past. She had to think about their predicament practically right now. What did she need in order to perform the enchantment?
"They cannot ask about you if they are no longer living. And those who are still living won’t exactly be traveling to Gray Vale for any vampires there to be reminded of you. The vampires and the alyko will not interact... ever. It is not a concern that they should meet. And we already told Nedra we would not alter the memories of the alyko. So you didn’t even need to show me this."
She squeezed her eyes shut one last time and replaced the folder she had taken from the cabinet.
"You needed to know," he said. "This is who I am."
"This is who you were. Can we focus on the enchantment? What I do need are the names of those in Gray Vale who you were close to," her eyebrows tilted upward to seek his understanding as she explained this to him. She was the scientist now, gathering the research that was needed for the task that laid before her.
"And I need the names of those in Gray Vale who are hunting us."
