“...I’m just running an errand. But what are you doing here with an axe in your hand?”
“Hmm, I’m running an errand too. For a junior, actually.”
“What? You’re running an errand for a junior? That’s a lie.”
“...Hmm, well, the truth is I dumped all the hard work on my junior and now I’m just killing time?”
“Oh, I see!”
‘...What? Both of them are lying, so why does that lie sound believable?’
For some reason, it irritated me.
***
There wasn’t much time left until the march. I needed to quickly recover my memory of the original novel and figure out what happens during the march.
‘If I eat this candy, it’ll help, right?’
The thought of consuming candy infused with dark magic made me uneasy at first. But once I unwrapped it, it looked like an ordinary piece of candy. Just a plain white hard candy, the kind you’d see kids enjoying.
‘Did they just inject some dark magic into regular market candy?’
It looked completely harmless at first glance.
There wasn’t time to hesitate. I popped the candy into my mouth in one go. It was large enough to puff up my cheeks.
‘...What the hell.’
The moment the candy hit my tongue, I understood why it was infused with dark magic.
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The taste... oh god, the taste.
I can’t describe it. If I tried, this story would change genres and land in the adults-only section. It was grotesque and bizarre beyond words.
‘I just need to focus on recalling the memory I’m looking for.’
I swirled the unnervingly flavored candy around in my mouth, thinking about the contents of the novel Four Obsessed Madmen Cling to Me.
‘Four Obsessed Madmen Cling to Me....’
The cover. The protagonist, with orange hair, looking shy as she’s sandwiched between two black-haired male leads. Then the second cover: her flustered face as she’s caught between the green-haired male lead and the brown-haired one.
No, focus on the story. The story!
It was about a cheerful, quirky, kind heroine and her entanglements with four insane men....
Surprisingly, the more I swirled the candy in my mouth, the sharper my memories became.
I remembered the novel had 124 chapters, and the extra chapters began on December 18th. Unfortunately, I got reincarnated into this world before those extras were released.
‘The young lady living in the duke’s estate where Dalin worked was such a brat. People like that need a taste of revolution.’
Even the minor details I skimmed over while reading began flooding back.
I still hadn’t recalled anything about Altair or Yuri’s death, but—
And then, it hit me.
“Ah!”
A sharp sensation shot through my head.
Something inside my brain was vibrating.
This must be...
‘The signal Sanchez mentioned.’
The dark magic demanded a price for unlocking more memories. My mind was being squeezed, as if asking me to offer up something in exchange.
Fine, then. All I had to do was state what memory I was willing to give up.
...But it wasn’t that simple.
I knew exactly what my most precious memory was. It was something I hadn’t shared with anyone since coming to this world. I had buried it deep, because it was too valuable to lose.
It was my name—the name I had in my original world.
‘You want me to give that up?’
Logically, it made sense.
This candy might not just restore my knowledge of the novel but could also bring back memories of my life before this world.
But what use would that be? I had no way of returning to my original world. I had no lingering attachment to it, no reason to go back.
‘Besides, after all the suffering I’ve endured here, there’s no way I’m going back. No freaking way.’
Still, I planned to stay in this world. Erasing my past life memories would make things simpler.
Giving up those memories in exchange for knowledge about this world—about my future—seemed like a fair trade.
Logically, I understood. But...
‘I don’t want to.’
My name was the only thing connecting me to my past self.
Whenever life in this world became unbearable, I’d whisper my name to myself before falling asleep.
And yet, I had never once spoken it aloud since arriving here.
That name was my only possession.
Even if others found it foolish, I clung to it as proof that I had existed in my original world.
It was a memory I treasured deeply.
Altair and Yuri’s faces flashed through my mind.
They had stood by me, defended me in public, and made it clear I was part of their circle. They were among the few good connections I’d made in this harsh world.
And now, my original name came to mind. I loved that name.
‘You want me to throw that away?’
The mere thought filled me with dread and sadness.
Unable to decide, I buried my head in my knees. Meanwhile, the candy continued dissolving in my mouth.
And then, a hand rested gently on my head.
“Ah.”
I lifted my head and met the gaze of the hand’s owner.
Honestly, I didn’t even need to look to know who it was.
That familiar warmth told me everything.
“Aquila.”
“What are you doing here, Salvia?”
He called out Salvia’s name.
The name, strangely unfamiliar and distant, suddenly made me feel a pang of sorrow. I didn’t respond. I just let my head droop.
“Why?”
Aquila, noticing my downcast expression, sat down in front of me. His eyes shifted to my puffed cheeks, swollen because of the candy.
“Candy?”
“Mm.”
“Where did you get it?”
“Just... from Altair....”
My mumbled response, distorted by the candy, must have amused him. Without warning, he poked my cheek with his finger.
“Why?”
Startled by his sudden action, I instinctively glared at him. But Aquila, unfazed, simply stared at my cheek with a curious expression.
“When we’re discharged, you’ll need to eat a lot more.”
“...Huh?”
“Your chubby cheeks are cute.”
...He really was blunt.
But that kind of straightforwardness was very much like Aquila. He wasn’t trying to flatter or manipulate; he was just voicing whatever was on his mind.
“Are you planning to see me after we’re discharged?”
“...Would you rather I didn’t?”
There was a slight edge to Aquila’s voice.
Strangely, the sharpness in his tone was comforting.
“No, it’s just... I don’t have any friends.”
“Mm.”
“So you have to keep in touch with me. I don’t have anyone else.”
While serving in the Border Defense Army, I wasn’t alone. Even in this hellish place, there were small comforts.
Here, I didn’t need to make much effort to move forward. The structure of the army ensured I progressed, and I naturally interacted with others.
But the moment I was discharged, that would all vanish.
If I didn’t take the initiative, I would stagnate, alone in this world, knowing no one.
“You’re the only peer I have. So you have to keep seeing me. I don’t have anyone else.”
“I’ll see you every day.”
His reply was brief, but the sincerity in his voice was unmistakable.
And somehow, absurdly enough, that simple response made all my previous hesitation seem pointless.
I made my decision.
I opened my mouth and spoke the word I’d kept hidden for so long.
“My name.”
At that moment, the dark magic began to take effect.
A book seemed to open within my mind, and its letters cascaded down, flooding into my consciousness.
“Ah.”
Forgotten fragments of the original story returned to me in vivid sentences.
When it was over, I realized something.
“...It’s gone now.”
My name—the name from my previous life—had disappeared from my memory entirely.
Well, I knew this was a trade to my benefit. I understood that.
But still.
“It’s really gone.”
The sensation of losing something so integral to my being was unbearable. It felt like a massive part of me had been torn away, leaving a gaping void. Cold air seemed to rush in through that emptiness, and I couldn’t withstand it.
“The weather’s gotten colder again.”
So I buried my face into Aquila’s chest, seeking the warmth of someone who had patiently stayed with me.
Someday, this cold would fade.
Someday, I would gain so much more—more than enough to make up for the name I’d lost.
And warmth would return to my life.
***
After calming down a bit, I arrived at the women’s dormitory. Memories of the original novel, Four Obsessed Madmen Cling to Me, were now crystal clear.
When Dalin enlisted, Salvia, in the original story, had already died. The dormitory had only been occupied by Benny.
In the novel, Dalin had asked Benny if she’d been living alone in the dorm. Benny’s response had been:
“Yes, I’ve been alone. There used to be two others, but one of them got promoted to officer.... And the other one... never mind.”
‘Wow, I even remember the dialogue word for word.’
The dark magic really worked wonders. No wonder the state banned it—it’s always the addictive things that get outlawed. If it weren’t banned, I might’ve ended up addicted myself....
Anyway, back to the point.
In the original story, Benny’s dialogue served to emphasize the death of Salvia, the male leads’ first love. But it also contained a critical clue about Yuri’s fate!
‘Yuri successfully got promoted to officer.’
That meant it was clear who had died during the march.
“Altair.”
...I had to stop it. No matter what.