Chapter 2048: Chapter 1841: Drawing Closer
I don’t know how distance should bring us closer, and I know there’s a significant gap between us.
"Zhentian, are you really stupid now? You were never like this before, although I always liked to think you were silly and said you were too naive, acting without thinking.
But why, when you were doing this today, did you not consider the final outcome at all? You never cared about what your father would think, and all you see is me. But in your eyes, is a wife really that important? A father is the one who gave birth to you and raised you, and it’s not easy for him to raise you, while I’m just a piece on the chessboard that you brought into your house. If you lose a wife, you can find another, but once a father is gone, he is gone forever. Why don’t you ever consider your family’s feelings?
Even though you care about me so much, deep down, I’m really touched, and I’m happy to receive such deep love from you. But sometimes love isn’t like this. Your kind of love is too selfish and self-serving, a love we can’t bear. What we want in life is really very minimal; the happiness we seek is overly simple. But why does the outcome, time and again, leave us both in utter despair? Is that outcome truly what you want?
You should understand that all anyone wants is a simple life. Over the years, no one understands more than you do what we’ve been through. You know how I’ve endured these years, and you know how I truly feel about you. Deep down, you understand better than anyone, so why do you keep pretending to be innocent? Do you really think it’s fun to gain everyone’s understanding by doing so?
Time after time, I take the blame for everything while you stand up for me. But it makes the world think I’m not a good person!
Sometimes, you need to think from another person’s perspective. Only by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes will you understand what your actions look like to others and what they might think when they know the outcome. Never just think from your own viewpoint because it’s too careless. You can’t make decisions for others based on what you think they want. Often, your ideas are just misunderstandings of others, and that’s how the misunderstandings between us grew. Isn’t that so?
I think the person you should apologize to most right now is not me but your father. If you had died today, you would have lost your father and your son. To put it bluntly, you would have abandoned them once again, but this time it would be completely and forever. They would never forgive you, the heartless father, the heartless son, because what you’ve done is not worth forgiving. Why do you keep treating them like this, just for me?
Once I’ve said I won’t resent you for the past things anymore, I’ve married you, which means I will no longer pursue past mistakes. You don’t have to keep clinging to the past because it brings no benefits, only worsening and complicating our emotions. I just want to stay here peacefully, with my child by my side. Please give me this chance, and don’t keep making things difficult for me, opposing me at every turn."
Zhang Zhentian hung his head as his wife spoke because, for the first time, he realized that none of his actions were right. His wife was always so sensible, and what did he make of his actions? He nearly caused his father to utterly lose him. Even though he claimed to care so much about life and death, why did he act so thoughtlessly, always simplifying everything and never caring about their feelings?
He blamed himself for being too arbitrary and self-willed. Time and again, he never considered whether others could bear such blows. The decisions he made were all made in a moment of impulse, leading only to regret, but at a time when it was too late. No one would wait forever for you to admit your mistakes, and even if you did, forgiveness was not guaranteed.
"Xia Jing, I’m sorry, I understand now. I realize none of my past actions were right. What I want now is just a stable life, and I’ll never again recklessly sacrifice my life. Life is precious, and I cannot joke with it because it would cause my family such immense pain, especially my father. As you said, parents should not bury their children.
If that were to happen, how painful would it be for them! I’m his son, but he can only watch me leave this world like this. How could he understand? How could he be happy? All he wants is for his son to live safely, to be there and talk with him. Seeing someone is a blessing and comfort. But if I really left this world, what would my father say? Not even seeing his face, wouldn’t he be even more heartbroken?"
"It’s good you’ve realized that. If you continue like this, I really wouldn’t know what to say to you.
Your thinking is slower than everyone else’s. Others immediately admit their mistakes, but you didn’t even realize there was anything wrong. Yet, in reality, every decision you made was a mistake. You never considered what others were thinking at the time. Aren’t you going to quickly find your father and sincerely apologize? Do you still want him to worry for you?
At any time and place, a parent can never not care about their child’s life. No matter what mistakes their child makes, they only worry about how their child truly lives!"
I can only look from afar, like I’m still standing here, while you have flown to the sky!
