Chapter 2044: Chapter 1837: Must
Nothing is ever a must; it all comes from enduring time and time again!
During this period, Zhang Yichen felt quite at ease; his parents were not interfering in his affairs, at least there were no incessant quarrels like before, and his wife’s condition was relatively stable, with no adverse events or unexpected happenings. This was already a blessing in disguise for him, he hadn’t had such a peaceful life in a long time, neither did he know that reaching this point was not easy for him, yet he never gave up.
If anything bad resulted from the conflicts within his family, he really wouldn’t know what kind of outcome he would face. Now, he had no mind and no inclination to deal with these old grievances; he felt each day was fulfilling yet very tiring.
Over the years, taking each step to get to today was really not easy for her. He wonders about every decision he made over the years, could he really say he had a clear conscience? He never thought about how he reached this point, living step by step, only hoping that his family would be safe. Now that his family had reached the outcome he most desired, even though his wife hadn’t woken up, he was still very happy...
"Dad, to speak frankly, I am already filled with despair regarding this family. I can no longer find the warmth I once desired from everyone in this family, do you understand? When I was tormented again and again, when I was at a dead end needing to be drunk, when the ones I loved showed their concern and care for me, what I received was nothing but pain. How I longed to live happily and joyfully, to finally get the ending I wanted, but what did I get? I got nothing, on the contrary, I lost so much.
No matter how you all viewed me over the years, I truly lived happily. Even if I was hurt over and over again, hiding under the covers crying alone, deep down in my heart, those were the happiest times of my life. I got to where I am today by my own efforts, without relying on anyone. I was only brought up by my grandfather, and at that moment, deep down, I felt sorrow. I never received your love, nor your company. In my heart, my parents were always like invisible people, never there beside me.
The years when I needed you most are already gone, the bygone times will never come back, and there’s no opportunity for them to be as they were. How could you ever comprehend the severe pain caused by the harm you once inflicted on me? I never spoke of my past hurts to anyone, because speaking of them is useless. But today, I truly can’t stand that after doing so much, what I ended up with was only the harm from my family. I got nothing in exchange.
When I needed you the most, you were wandering the world, you abandoned me, leaving me to face all the pressure alone. In those moments, I always felt heartache, never expecting that my parents would treat me in such a ruthless way. Was wanting what I wanted really so wrong? Do I deserve to be hurt by my own family time and time again, while I stand indifferent enduring all the pain? I am unwilling. By my efforts, I proved that my lifelong unwillingness is justified.
I thought of living at any cost, as long as I’m alive, doing anything makes me happy, but what did I end up with? Even if I could live like this, in the end, I would gain nothing. I lost my lover, lost myself, lost the family that could have been happy, lost everything I cherished most deeply. At that time, of what significance was anything I did?"
"Child, you should know that from start to finish, I never thought of treating you in this way. The misunderstandings between us are already too deep, not something that can be solved in a few words. Have you thought that if at the beginning, I really hoped you’d leave and never come back, if I truly didn’t want to come back to your side to take care of you and accompany you, how could I be standing here? When have you ever stood in my shoes to consider things? Are you saying that everything you’ve done is right, and everything I’ve done is wrong? For my freedom, for living, am I at fault? My intention to leave was only to make the person beside my pillow happy, to let you be happy and content, you too, you still hope that your wife could be happy and cheerful, don’t you? You want her to stay healthy and safely by your side for a lifetime without separation, don’t you? Don’t I want that too?
Certainly, many things are just human nature, yet in your eyes, they’re so unforgivable. Have you never thought about my inner struggle and pain as a father? Have you never thought about the moments when I was caught in between, how difficult it was for me to choose? You think it’s all for myself; have you ever considered how difficult everything I did was? If you could even just slightly put yourself in my shoes, then the outcome might not be as it is now. I don’t wish for there to be any unexpected events between us, nor do I want either of us to further exaggerate this matter, continually arguing without end. Such a life exhausts me, it’s not the life we want."
"Now you suddenly tell me that’s not the kind of life you want. Do you think I will believe it? Perhaps I once truly believed every word you said, but now I won’t, because the result of believing you just brought repeated hurt onto myself. Why should I make myself bruised and battered, only to silently bear all the pain in the end, while you laugh alone beside me? Why am I indebted throughout my life, but only to my grandfather, my wife, my child? I do not owe my parents because they never gave me love, never accompanied me. Even if you gave me life, the fact that you abandoned me all these years has already paid for everything. We owe each other nothing, and I will not allow your presence to affect me or endure any resentment against you because of you. I am not the person I used to be; I will live with dignity by my own efforts, without being saddened by anyone again..."
Truly living is the path of life, a happy life is in your own hands!
