Chapter 1943: Chapter 1737: Never Forget
Listening to the wind blowing sand off dreams, were the vows once said nothing but dream talk?
Ran Zhihan spoke unceasingly at Zhang Yichen’s ear, yearning to summon back her most beloved man. She couldn’t bear for the man she had loved for so many years to remain asleep forever. She couldn’t bear to see such a thing happen; if it truly did, she would rather be the one lying in the hospital bed than Zhang Yichen. To Ran Zhihan, nothing was more important than Zhang Yichen!
It was uncertain if Zhang Yichen heard Ran Zhihan’s words. In his dreams, he saw images of them talking.
In the dream...
"Yichen, why are you unwilling to wake up? Is it really because I’ve hurt you too deeply? Seeing you lying unconscious on the hospital bed, do you know how much it pains me inside? If you truly love me, why won’t you open your eyes and look at me? If you love me, would you really want to see me shedding tears from sadness over you?" In the dream, Ran Zhihan spoke to Zhang Yichen.
"Zhihan, listen to me, it’s not like that. I want to open my eyes and see you; I want to see if my most beloved woman is caring for me. But my eyelids feel so heavy, as though I can’t open them no matter how hard I try. Please don’t blame me; it’s not that I don’t want to see you, it’s that I’m powerless, dear!"
"Don’t tell me you’re powerless. If you truly want to open your eyes and see me, you could find a way to do it. I’ve spoken so much to you from the heart beside your bed, but you haven’t opened your eyes to look at me. That only proves you don’t love me inside. Since you don’t love me, why do you forcefully keep me by your side? Do you know how deeply I love you? I love you so much it penetrates my bones. For you, I would even give up my life. And you? You won’t even open your eyes to look at me, yet you dare claim to love me. Is this how you love me? If you truly love me, then open your eyes right now and see me, see if I’m by your side all along, see if I’ve been the woman who hurt you and who’s been faithfully at your side..."
"Didn’t I just say it’s not that I don’t want to open my eyes to see you? My eyes truly can’t open. Whenever I try, it feels like there’s a mountain pressing above my eyelids. No matter how hard I try, I can’t open them. I want to open my eyes and see you; I want to reach out and touch you. Don’t you know? You hold such an important place in my heart. For you, I’d also forsake my life. But why do you treat me like this? I begged you desperately to stay by my side for a lifetime, yet you heartlessly decided to abandon me and leave alone. If it wasn’t for you, why would I be on this hospital bed? Seeing me like this, shouldn’t you be happy? In this state, you can leave freely, and no one will force you to stay by my side or do anything. Isn’t that something worth celebrating for you? Why come back to me? Do you intend to hurt me once more?"
"Don’t say that. I never intended to hurt you. You’re more important than anyone in my heart. That day, you earnestly begged me to stay by your side, yet I refused you cold-heartedly, not for any other reason but my fear of high society’s judgment on you. I don’t want my identity as a common-born daughter to cast a pall on your future. Even though I have returned from my studies now, I still can’t enter high society. I don’t understand what their lifestyle entails. While studying in the United States, I found vast disparities between high society children and us from ordinary families. These gaps lead to endless criticism. Surely, you understand inside, it’s not that I don’t love you; I just don’t know how to continue our journey together. Each moment with you brought genuine joy—a rare smile, yet daily laughter with you makes my heart bright and sunny. When I see you, I feel like a prince is protecting me. Your presence gives me security, even a mere glance brings delight. But often, I must make cruel decisions; if not, the harm isn’t only to us but others too. Though you may find my decision hard to accept at the time, my heart ached immensely. I wanted to hold you and cry for you not to leave me, yet I suppressed my reluctance and adamantly pushed you away. I know your heart hates me, but I hope you’ll see things from my perspective. If it were you, you’d make the same choice because we’re equally kind-hearted and unwilling to let dear ones endure any harm. Though there are things I don’t know how to explain, I wish you’d trust me. My love for you hasn’t changed."
"Is what you said true? Do you truly love me from the bottom of your heart? But I’m afraid one day you’ll fall for someone else and choose to break up with me, which would devastate me and cause deep-seated pain. You see, sometimes I can’t tolerate betrayal from the one I love. I just want my beloved to stay by my side. I don’t ask for grand sacrifices or contributions, just that he keeps me as his dearest and stays with me. My demands are not many, nor greedy, but simple: to walk hand-in-hand with the one I love to old age. I don’t care whether I have sons or daughters in this lifetime; none of that matters as long as my beloved can always be by my side, always visible. I don’t wish for cruel words for any reason. Don’t worry; I will wake up. It’s just not the right time yet. But when I can wake up, I hope the first person I see when I open my eyes is you, not anyone else. When I open my eyes and you’re the first person I see, I hope you’ll always be at my side and never speak of separation again..."
Why are my eyes filled with tears? Perhaps, I should have let go long ago. Passing through spring warmth to winter chill, who can provide the best answer?
