“That's complete bullshit! There is no way that's physically possible to do!”
“Skill issue.”
Tony pointed at Ezekiel with a shaking finger as he yelled, “Skill issue my ass! There is no way that's possible, you should have torn a muscle or tendon!”
Ezekiel gave a helpless shrug as a smirk played across his face and he said, “Like I said, skill issue. Unlike you, I have complete control over my body. Stopping a swing midmotion and changing its direction at the same time is nothing for me. I can do it as easily as you breathe.”
“Bullshit is what it is… You're totally cheating.”
Ezekiel's smirk grew a little more as he said in a teasing tone, “Pure Skill isn't cheating, but I can show you true cheating if you want…”
Tony frowned slightly and stood up straighter as he asked, “What are you gonna do now? Use portals to move around?”
Ezekiel's eyes changed to a new pattern and Tony asked with narrowed eyes, “What are you doing now?”
“JARVIS, restart the match.” Ezekiel said as he spread his arms wide and added with a mocking tone, “I'll give you a minute to hit me with all you've got and I won't retaliate.”
Tony's light saber flickered to life again and he cautiously stepped backwards as he asked, "What's the trick? What are you trying to do this time?”
“Nothing, just attack me and I'll show you what real cheating is like.”
Tony moved around Ezekiel before he darted forward and his light saber passed through Ezekiel without leaving a mark. Tony swiped his blade across Ezekiel's body a few more times before his eyes widened and he yelled, “You disabled the scoring system on yourself!”
“Nope, it still works. You just haven't touched me yet.”
Tony glanced at the light saber beam going through Ezekiel's chest before he said, “Bullshit, you totally disabled the scoring system around you.”
“The scoring system is working correctly, I've already run a diagnostic to confirm, sir.”
Tony glanced at the light saber as he moved it through Ezekiel's body before he said, “He wrote the code for the scoring system, it's probably hidden somewhere… Check again.”
“The code is fine, my body is currently intangible.” Ezekiel said before he jumped towards Tony who flinched back in response before his jaw dropped open.
Ezekiel passed through and landed just behind Tony before he walked back through him but kept one of his hands inside Tony's chest as he joked, “How does it feel with part of me now inside of you…”
Tony glanced down at the hand inside his chest before he screamed and slapped at the arm only for his hand to pass through it like it wasn't there. He slapped at it a few more times before he finally jumped back and yelled, “What the fuck!?!”
Ezekiel burst into laughter as Tony backed up and touched his body, checking it all over before he glared at Ezekiel and said, “Don't ever do that again.”
“You should relax more, it was just a bit of harmless fun.” Ezekiel said with a chuckle before he winked at Tony and added, “Besides, it felt good right? I know it was a little big for yo-”
“Shut up! Never do that again and never mention it either! If someone heard you say that without seeing what you actually did…” Tony said as his voice trailed off and he shivered slightly before he quickly added as he looked down at his chest, “Seriously, never do that again. That was creepy.”
“You're about as fun as a wet paper bag. This is exactly why Morgan likes me more and thinks I'm the cool uncle.”
Tony looked like he was visibly hit as he clutched his chest and stepped back while he said, “How dare you! Morgan doesn't think that!”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Ezekiel said as he moved towards the door to leave the area.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“I won, I'm going to the next stage. Good luck getting to the next stage with the glasses, loser.” Ezekiel said as he waved over his shoulder without looking back.
Less than a minute after Ezekiel left the area, the door opened on the other side and in stepped a tall woman with sharp features, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. Tony turned to look at his new opponent before his eyes widened behind his glasses and he asked in a confused tone, “Sanhildr, what are you doing here?”
Sanhildr removed the light saber from her waist and it lit up in a blue light as she said, “Having fun and looking for a worthy opponent as I climb to the top.”
Tony raised his own light saber and as its red light erupted he said in a cocky tone, “It's unfortunate you ran into me then. I'm also aiming for the top and don't plan to lose.”
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
“You've already lost against Ezekiel, Mr. Stark.”
“Shut it JARVIS, that didn't count. Ezekiel is a freak of nature.” Tony said with a frown as he glanced towards one of the cameras and added, “Just start the match.”
A couple minutes later Sanhildr walked out of the arena with confident steps as Tony mumbled to himself, “How in the hell is she that good?”
Luckily for Tony, the next few people he fought ended up being better than average humans, so he ended up winning a spot to the next arena level. Unfortunately that was the last arena he made it to as everyone at that level was more skilled then him and his glasses. He still won a couple of times, but it wasn't enough to out strip the losses and he was eventually kicked out. That didn't stop him from immediately reentering with his VIP passes, but he was kicked out again ten minutes later after losing five more times.
Tony ended up entering six times but by that time the competition was too fierce and he couldn't win a single match. Defeated and with nothing else to do, Tony moved to a private lounge he had set up to wait for Ezekiel. Inside he could watch anyone fighting in the arenas on a big screen TV as he ate snacks and relaxed. Once inside, Tony collapsed onto one of the couches exhausted from all the fights he just lost and could only mutter, “JARVIS, show me Ezekiel's current fight.”
“I believe you should rest instead, sir. Watching Ezekiel's fight might not be good for your mental health at this moment.”
Tony instantly sat up with narrowed eyes as he asked, “And what is that supposed to mean?”
There was a pause for a few moments before JARVIS let out a soft sigh and the TV turned on a moment later. On the screen was the highest tiered arena and inside of it were three people. One of them was clearly Ezekiel with a single purple colored light saber who was fighting against two opponents at the same time.
While that would normally be impressive for most people, since the gravity and added difficulty of objects being controlled by other people flying around. It looked downright ridiculous when one of the people was a blue skinned man with a tail who randomly teleported to Ezekiel's blind spots. That didn’t even account for the girl with brown hair who phased through objects and kept constant pressure on Ezekiel. If Tony didn't know any better he would think he was watching a prerecorded movie.
The fight carried on for a while and no matter how much the other two tried, Ezekiel easily countered them. He not only used his sword mastery, but also used the low gravity and entire arena to his advantage. If anything, Ezekiel looked like a true master Jedi while his opponents only really used their personal powers to fight him. While they were strong and the fight carried on for over half an hour, Ezekiel finally won and struck both of them down within moments of each other.
After the fight, Ezekiel talked with both of them for a few minutes as they shared some refreshments before they finally left. About a minute later Sanhildr entered the arena and Tony focused on the approaching match more intently. While the new match wasn't as action packed as the last one, it was still incredible to watch. Ezekiel and Sanhildr didn't jump around like crazy or use force powers to move objects, but that didn't mean the match was boring. If anything, Tony found the fight even more interesting since it was a contest of pure skill.
Ezekiel and Sanhildr traded blows back and forth at an almost blinding pace. Which forced Tony to watch the fight at quarter speed to even see half of their moves. Sure Ezekiel moved incredibly fast as he fought his other two opponents, but his current speed seemed to even surpass that. The fight carried on for a while and a few times Tony even thought Ezekiel was going to lose, but Ezekiel would always counter or parry at the last moment. When Ezekiel finally won, Tony was drenched in sweat just watching and let out a heavy sigh as he collapsed back onto the couch exhausted. Tony shut the TV off and closed his eyes to rest for a while afterwards.
Ezekiel fought a few more rounds against some valkyries and a few ninjas before he retired for the night undefeated. It didn't take Ezekiel long to find Tony, who was nursing a soda as he relaxed in the private lounge. After Ezekiel stepped into the room he asked, “You done for the night?”
Tony finished the drink in his hand after he glanced at the clock before he stood up and said, “I should head back, Morgan and Pepper are probably waiting for me at the tower.”
“Want a portal?”
Tony shook his head as he moved towards the door and said, “No, it's not far and I wanna drive my new car some more.”
Ezekiel followed Tony out of the room and they moved through the park's staff areas as they talked. About ten minutes later they stepped out into a private employee parking area with only a handful of people around. As they walked towards a white car with a woman standing next to it. She was in a purple blouse, with a black skirt and her face lit up when she saw Tony.
Ezekiel glanced at the woman for a moment before he asked, “Does Pepper know you replaced Happy with a woman?”
“I didn't replace Happy with anyone. Besides, he works from home half the time now and JARVIS takes care of everything else.”
“Then why is a woman standing around in front of your car?” Ezekiel asked even though he was pretty sure he knew what was going on.
“No clue…” Tony said as they approached closer and Tony focused on the woman and said, “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“And you are?”
“Marshal.” The woman said as she reached out and shook Tony's hand and he replied, “Irish, I like it.”
Tony stepped past her and entered the car as he asked, “Where are you from?”
“Bedford.”
“Oh, well what are you doing here?” Tony asked as the top of the car folded up and started to go into its compartment as it turned into a convertible.
“Looking for you actually.”
Tony put on a cocky grin as he said, “Yeah? Well, you found me. So what are you up to later?”
“Serving subpoenas.” The woman said as she held up the document in her hand.
Tony’s eyes widened slightly and he froze for a moment before he said, “Yikes.”
Tony glanced at the document for a few moments before Ezekiel reached over and took it as he said, “Tony doesn't like to be handed things from people he doesn't know."
“Yeah, I have a peeve.” Tony said before Ezekiel shoved the document into Tony's front shirt pocket.
The girl glanced between Tony and Ezekiel for a moment before she said, “You are hereby ordered to appear before the Senate Armed Services Committee tomorrow morning at 9 am.”
“But tomorrow's a Saturday, the government doesn’t work on the weekend…”
The woman shrugged as she said, “I’m not sure about other parts, but committee meetings are normally held every day but Sunday.”
Tony let out a sigh before he glanced at Ezekiel and asked, “Portal me to DC tomorrow morning?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, I'll even bring breakfast.”
