Chapter 276: Chapter 276 Hearts Without Heirs
Phoebe’s POV
I understood that Perry would cherish me regardless of anything else. He remained by my side even after discovering I couldn’t provide him with an heir.
Shutting my eyes, I pulled my mate closer against me. I refused to release him. His devotion ran so deep it threatened to destroy him, and that was exactly what I feared most. I couldn’t bear watching him sacrifice himself for me.
We hadn’t discussed this yet, and Perry never brought it up, but I was certain he’d discovered the truth about my inability to conceive, including the miscarriage I’d suffered.
Marcela must have informed him...
Still, I was too terrified to address it. I was a coward, plain and simple.
"Phoebe?" I felt Perry tense beside me as he gently lifted my head to see tears streaming down my face. "What’s wrong? What happened? Why the tears? Did I mess up somehow?"
"Is it something I said?" Perry couldn’t identify his error, but he offered an apology regardless. "Listen, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, alright?"
"You don’t even understand what you’re apologizing for," I replied, brushing away my tears.
"I don’t know, but anything that brings you pain is wrong." Perry pressed a tender kiss to my forehead, offering the solace I craved. "I’m sorry."
I shook my head. "Please, stop apologizing. You’ve done nothing wrong. I..." The words lodged in my throat, refusing to emerge. "I..."
"It’s alright, love." Perry drew me closer, intertwining our legs. "It’s alright."
But I continued shaking my head. Nothing would be right until I voiced my feelings. "I lost a baby," I finally managed to say. "And because of that... no." I shook my head again as fresh tears spilled down my cheeks. "Even before that happened... I can’t carry your child. I can’t provide you with an heir, Perry. I’ll never be what you need."
Perry kissed my forehead, and just as I suspected, he already knew—his face showed no surprise at my revelation.
"I know. I’ve known, love." Perry absorbed my anguish along with his own, yet he also felt relief that we were finally addressing this issue.
A massive divide had existed between us, even during our most intimate moments, because we’d kept this buried.
We desperately needed to tear off the bandage to confront it properly.
"I’m sorry."
"Shh..." Perry silenced me with a kiss. "I won’t hear that. I refuse to let you apologize for something beyond your control. For something that isn’t your fault." A shadow of guilt crossed his face, and I knew he was blaming himself. I could almost hear the ’if onlys’ running through his mind.
If only... if only he hadn’t been so foolish... if only he’d trusted me sooner... I might have carried the pregnancy to term, and our child would be walking and talking by now. If only...
But I watched as he forced himself not to spiral down that path of self-blame in front of me, knowing I wouldn’t tolerate it and it would only increase my guilt.
"Don’t blame yourself, Phoebe. Don’t. I won’t listen to that, and you shouldn’t feel that way." Perry held me tighter, pressing me closer. "I love you, and we’ll face whatever comes together."
"But..." I was sobbing openly now. "But what about the heir? What will you do about that? You can’t rule without an heir—the kingdom needs one."
Perry kissed my forehead once more. "We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about that. We’ll find a solution."
I shook my head. "This isn’t something you can just solve by thinking about it. There’s no solution to find. I can’t be repaired."
"There’s nothing about you that needs repairing. You’re perfect as you are."
"I’m damaged," I said miserably. "I’m a failure."
"No, you’re not. Please, Phoebe. Don’t..." Perry pressed his forehead against mine. I felt my turmoil pass through our bond to him, my rage and sadness becoming his. His grip tightened, his expression pained, as if he felt everything I did.
The divide was healing, but it left us with even more pain to process. The wounds had reopened and were bleeding once again.
"I’m sorry, love. I’m so sorry."
"No..."
Neither of us wanted to blame the other; we each tried shouldering the guilt, but the weight was crushing... our hearts felt unbearably heavy.
"You need to find someone else, Perry. Find another woman..." I couldn’t finish before Perry silenced me with a kiss.
"No. Don’t you dare say that. Don’t you ever dare speak those words. I won’t allow it. Don’t you dare, do you understand?" Perry spoke against my lips, fury evident in his voice at hearing what I’d tried to suggest.
"Perry..." I pushed him back slightly and cupped his face. "You will..."
"No. I don’t want to hear any of that. I want you—only you. The only child I desire is one from you, and if that’s impossible, then I want no children at all. Let the kingdom fall with me, or let it rise under a new generation with a different king. I’ll abdicate if that’s what you think I should do."
