Chapter 209: Agent 10’s Love
Agent 10 gazed at the photos of Li Xinjie, captivated by finally seeing the face behind Agent 17’s mask.
"What a fitting name for that exquisite face," he murmured.
Agent 10 had joined the organization at four years old - older than the others. He harbored a closely-guarded secret - he was gay. In their line of work, such an admission was perceived as weakness, so he obscured his true self behind a stoic facade.
Over the years, Agent 10 had watched Agent 17 training, admiring his muscular build. He longed to see the man behind the mask. Now here he was - Li Xinjie in all his alluring beauty.
Agent 10 traced the contours of Li Xinjie’s face on the screen. How he wanted to meet 17 in person, to hear his voice, gaze into those piercing eyes. He imagined running his hands over 17’s hard, capable body...
Agent 10 sighed, redirecting his thoughts. Such fantasies were foolish, he chided himself. They lived in the shadows, their duties ever paramount. Attachment and sentiment were liabilities.
Agent 10 grappled with his mission - to eliminate the rogue Agent 17. He knew he must complete the task. But to kill the man he had secretly loved for years...it left him conflicted.
What would transpire when they finally met face-to-face? Agent 10 yearned to caress Li Xinjie, to kiss those perfect lips...but such thoughts were foolish. If he let 17 live, the organization would order Agent 10’s own execution.
Still...Agent 10 fantasized about a life together with Li Xinjie. One where they left this dark world behind, settling down somewhere peaceful. Adopting children perhaps, starting their own little family... They could be so happy basking in domestic bliss.
But would the formidable Agent 17 ever agree to such a scenario? Would he abandon his quest for vengeance against the organization to run away with a lovesick colleague?
Agent 10 sighed, closing the photos on his laptop. He had to stop these hopeless daydreams of a happily ever after with Li Xinjie. They had both lost any chance at normal lives long ago when they entered the organization’s ruthless service.
Still, until the final moment when he came face-to-face with those piercing eyes, Agent 10 resolved to hold onto his secret love. For without it, all he had left was this cold, bloody existence as an assassin bound by duty. He would carry out his mission in the end...but not yet.
Agent 10 set his laptop aside as his phone buzzed. He answered flatly, "Yes?"
The voice on the line reminded him, "Eliminating Agent 17 will advance you up the ranks, 10. More high-risk, high-pay missions."
Agent 10 sighed. "I’m aware of what’s at stake."
Noticing his lack of enthusiasm, the man asked, "You seem off. Everything alright?"
"Just fatigue from the rushed overseas travel," Agent 10 lied. "I didn’t get proper rest."
"Then remedy that," the man instructed. "You’ll need to be sharp against a target like 17. Taking him out won’t be simple, despite the rewards."
"Understood," Agent 10 replied dully before hanging up.
He contemplated the conversation while pouring out some wine. Increase in status meant nothing to him now. The only path he saw was one where he potentially had to extinguish the man who had unknowingly claimed his heart all these years.
Could he manage it face-to-face? Or would sentiment make him waver? Would the light fade from those sharp eyes by his own hand?
Agent 10 quickly downed the glass. He had to numb these troublesome thoughts. The mission came first, as always - no matter the cost or casualties. He would deal with the aftermath when and if he lived past confronting the legendary Agent 17...
Agent 10 poured another glass of wine, struggling internally. He had never questioned a mission before - orders came and you carried them out, no hesitation, no attachments. Such was life as an assassin.
But the thought of ending Li Xinjie’s life made his usual steely resolve waver. After years watching him from the shadows, Agent 17 had become Agent 10’s sole source of light in their otherwise dark world.
He still remembered the first time he saw the man behind the mask, sparring in the compound’s training facility. His warrior-like prowess and grace had captivated Agent 10 immediately. And as the years passed, Agent 10’s covert admiration grew into genuine affection.
Now, to repay that unwitting gift of joy by stealing Li Xinjie’s future away...it cut Agent 10 deeper than any blade could.
He stared at the wine glass, tempted to down it and lose himself in oblivion. But alcohol could not erase this wound to his soul. There would be no peace for him after this assignment, whether he emerged victorious or not. Killing Li Xinjie would mean killing the only shred of humanity Agent 10 had left. It would destroy him as surely as any bullet.
This realization shocked Agent 10 to his core. For an assassin to value a target’s life over the mission was anathema. Yet here he was, questioning orders for the first time since childhood, all because of his feelings for Agent 17... Li Xinjie had awakened something in him long thought dead - a capacity to love. And Agent 10 knew he would never be the same again, no matter what fate awaited them both.
Agent 10 paced the hotel room, turmoil raging within. How had he allowed himself to develop such forbidden feelings for Agent 17? They went against everything beaten into him by the organization since his childhood induction.
Assassins were not people - they were tools, weapons forged out of broken souls. Their wants and needs mattered not, only the directives handed down to them. Orders were absolute; hesitation meant elimination.
Agent 10 knew all this, yet still he yearned. For the first time, he had a taste of what it meant to care for someone. To wish for a shared future rather than just existing assignment-to-assignment, devoid of purpose beyond the next target.
Li Xinjie had awakened that latent craving inside Agent 10. Like a seed planted unknowingly that had taken root and flourished. Now Agent 10 hungered for more. More than just admiring from the darkness. He wanted connection, intimacy...love. Things categorically denied to empty vessels like him.
And if achieving that meaning betraying everything ever drilled into him? So be it. He would accept any punishment later if it meant having Li Xinjie, however briefly. Whether they disappeared together or died in each other’s arms, it would be worth it.
Agent 10 steeled himself with newfound resolution. He would confront 17 not as an adversary, but a would-be lover. The organization be damned! If bullets awaited them instead of paradise, then let them come...At least he would know a sliver of happiness first. Surely even a weapon could be granted such mercy?
The wine providing temporary respite, Agent 10 staggered towards the bathroom for a shower before bed. He hoped sleep would bring clarity one way or another - either he would awaken ready to carry out his standing orders like the disciplined assassin he was trained to be, or find a solution to pursue his forbidden longing for Agent 17.
As Agent 10 stood under the hot water, the day’s tension dissipated. His mind drifted to Li Xinjie once more, imagination running free. He envisioned them together, somewhere peaceful. No missions, no fake identities - just honesty. He thought of what it would be like to openly declared his affection instead of pining from the shadows. To hear Li Xinjie profess reciprocation...What would it be like to kiss him? To be held against that powerful form, running his hands over hard-won muscle?
The fantasy was perfection. Agent 10 was willing to sacrifice everything to make it reality. He had to try, even if it was hopeless. Just a taste of true connection and he could die happy.
Agent 10 finished his shower renewed with conviction in his chosen path. He would present himself to Li Xinjie not as an assassin, but a man offering his battered heart. If they perished for it, then the powers that be never intended to let them live anyway. But Agent 10 would face that eventuality gazing into 17’s eyes. No matter what the new day brought, this choice was his final act of free will - he surrendered it gladly for love.
