Leanna

Chapter 161: [Change] [Letting Go]

[Zoe’s POV]

[Change]

I was having the time of my life when Lawrence guided me into the dance floor when Emery played a slow melody, drawing our attention to her beautiful face.

That girl was awesome. She could play the violin like a pro.

Much better than a pro.

I heard she was taking music in Artem. No wonder she was the star of her batch, she was better than most pros that I heard playing when my family forced me to attend those classical concerts every year.

Apparently, it was a favorite past time of the rich.

The soft music played and my attention was back on Lawrence. Since I was short in my five feet four inches’ height, and Lawrence was tall for a thirteen-year-old kid towering at five feet four inches, dancing was not a big problem.

I had goosebumps while my face was flushed when he circled his arms around my waist.

"Relax . . . This is not the first time that I’ve touch you," he teased.

My cheeks went hot as I brought my arms around his neck.

"How have you been? It’s been a while since you last replied to me."

I bit my lips and shifted my eyes. "I’ve been . . . busy with school recently." I lied.

I couldn’t tell him his sister gave me a heart to heart talk, and I was bothered by what she said.

"Oh. Are you free now? Why don’t you sleep here for tonight? It’s not safe to travel at night, and it’s pretty exhausting too."

Yes! I would love to!

"I’m sorry I already bought a return ticket home. I have a project I needed to finish."

Lawrence smiled, yet the disappointment in his eyes shone.

The hell with this!

I was about to retract my words and say yes to his offer when the violin screeched, pulling us apart.

EiiggnzzZ!!

Emery zoomed to our table, and without thinking, I chased after her.

"Emery, wait!"

But the girl just grabbed her purse and dashed away.

I seized a neatly wrapped box on the table and shouted, "Emery, wait! Your gift!"

"Burn it!"

Her reply stunned me.

Her voice was more than upset. It was full of hurt that I felt sad for her.

I heard cheers from the crowds and saw Lance and a girl with long black hair, who resembled young Leanna somehow, were hugging.

Oh. So that’s why she runs away.

My dislike for Lance intensified.

"What’s wrong with Emery dear? Is she alright?" Mother in law came to me, looking all worried.

"Uhmm . . . ah . . . she’s not feeling well, so she wanted me to give this to you to give to Lance." I gave the present to mother in law since I couldn’t bring myself to burn it.

"Oh. Is she alright?"

"Yes. But ah . . . she’ll have to leave early. Something came up."

I didn’t want to make my in-laws worried, so I made a lie.

I’m sure Emery would also want this.

Mother in law was still hesitant to leave until someone grabbed her hand and pulled her away.

"Zoe, dear. Enjoy the rest of the party!"

I waved my hand at her before roaming my gaze to find Lawrence, who magically disappeared amidst the crowd.

Where did he go?

I thought he was following me –– but apparently not.

I sighed.

Feeling awkward to sit alone on an empty table, I walked around the mansion to entertain myself on the grandeur of the gardens.

I was at the secluded part of the garden beside the house, meters away from the party when something caught my eyes.

Lawrence!

I was happy to see him and was about to call out when another person came into view. A short-haired brunet. She was cute and innocent with sprinkle of freckles on her lovely cheeks and all over her flushed face.

"Lawrence, I’ve liked you . . . I’ve always liked you since grade school . . . and I thought that . . . the feeling was mutual . . . What changed . . . ?"

It felt like the whole world stopped moving as I watch the two with a blank face.

Eh?

----

[Zoe’s POV]

[Letting Go]

"Maxine, nothing’s change . . . I still like you . . . But not the way you want me to."

The girl called Maxine cried as she said, "You used to be so sweet to me. You used to give me flowers and chocolates. We used to talk a lot. But months ago . . . you just . . . stop."

Lawrence didn’t answer. He just stared at her with guilt and sadness, and I couldn’t help but think about what Leanna had said.

-- Zoe, I know Lawrence like you, believe me, I know. But ever since you showed up to him, he’s been making you his responsibility because he took your virginity. He has this mental notion of taking care of you for the rest of your life. --

Am I?

Am I a hindrance to him?

Looking at it now. If I hadn’t come into his life, that cute girl could have been his girlfriend by now, and they would experience their first romance. Their first kiss. Their first hug. Their first date. Their first everything together.

What have I done?

"I’m sorry Max . . . ," he said, reaching out but the girl shoved his hand and ran to my direction.

I was too dazed to even react. She was surprised when we locked gazes. She then recovered and ran past me with Lawrence running after her.

Lawrence was taken aback when he saw me. He shot me a shy smile with a bit of guilt on his face.

"H-hey . . ."

"Hey." I was surprised that my voice came out calm, but I knew inside . . .

I’m far from calm.

"Did you . . . did you saw that?" he shifted his eyes and rubbed his nose, unsure if he should ask.

I nodded, and he was all apologetic.

"Uhm . . . that’s not . . . ," he said, rubbing the back of his head. "You don’t have to worry about anything . . . I––"

"Lawrence . . . ," I cut in. "Can we . . . talk?"

I then sat on a hammock, motioning for him to sit beside me.

Lawrence stared at me before he sat beside me while our gazes remained lock.

"Lawrence . . . what . . . do you want to do in the future?" I asked after a short silence.

Lawrence was taken aback before he smiled, red creeping on his cheeks. He lowered his head and stared at the ground. With a low crisp voice, he answered, "Well, I want to finish school so I can go to college and finish my degree. I want to be successful enough to support my family, even alone. I want to build our very own hospital. Since my mother loves houses, I want to build her a house in all parts of the world. I want to buy our very own private plane for my father, and I want to experience things the world has to offer. Like exploring the deepest ocean. Getting lost in a jungle. Or flying your own aircraft. How cool is that?"

He glanced at me and grinned, showing his canines with his still reddened cheeks.

"Well, of course . . . I’m broke at the moment so––!"

He didn’t finish his words when I silenced him with my lips.

He stiffened, but after a short paused, we were lost in the kiss. It was slow, savoring, like memorizing everything, remembering that time –– the first time that we kissed.

I didn’t know how long our lips devoured each other, but a moment later, I found myself hovering inches from his mouth, our forehead touching.

"Lawrence . . . I . . . I love you. I love you . . . but . . . this is goodbye."

I pulled away and stared at his bewildered face.

I smiled at him. "I’m letting you go."

His bewildered face creased into a frown.

"Zoe––!"

I pressed my finger on his lips.

"Lawrence . . . it would be best if you weren’t trapped with me. You don’t have to be responsible because you took my virginity. You didn’t. I gave it to you."

I pulled my finger from his lips and caressed his face.

"I want you to be free. To do all the things you wanted. I don’t want to be the reason that you’ll restrict yourself. You’re still young and have many things left to experience, and I don’t . . ."

My voice cracked as I held on to the last of my strength and forced out the words. "Don’t want to be the reason that you can’t experience it . . ."

My tears fell when he didn’t answer. His expression was all I needed to confirm that what I said was right.

I stood, and he grabbed my arm.

"Zoe, I . . . I . . ."

. . .

. . .

After the long brutal silence, he whispered, ". . . I’m sorry . . ."

I closed my eyes.

Not here, Zoe.

Not here.

I blinked the tears away and forced out a smile as I pulled my hand from his weak grasped.

"You don’t have to."

I kissed his forehead. "I’m very happy that you were my first man."

I then walked away.

Holding my lips, I stopped my cries.

I didn’t want him to feel guilty about me.

I wanted him to resume his life before he even met me.

----

A/N

Next updates for Estela, Zoe, and Emery is after a time skip. From here on. It would mostly be Leanna’s POV ^^