Kiss Of The Alpha : A YA Paranormal Romance

Chapter 59: Chapter 59

Heather

I jumped off the back porch. Before I made it to the first tree, a hand grabbed my arm. I almost fell as I skidded to a stop. Brent’s scent enveloped me.

Why wouldn’t he let me go?

I yanked my arm, trying to break free.

"Stop it," he said.

I stayed very still and slowed my breathing. He let go of my arm, and I took off. I didn’t know why I was running, but if I stayed still, I would have to face him. Face what I had done. And what I was. Face our relationship or lack of it.

Screw that. Even if it made me a coward.

I hadn’t taken more than a couple of steps before his hand gripped my arm again. He spun me around until my back slammed against a tree.

"Stop running from me. Please," he said.

"Let me go." My voice rumbled with the demand.

"No."

"I’m not going back."

His eyes turned the color of melted gold. "Why not?"

"Is Callista okay?"

He took a deep breath and his eyes faded back to their normal amber. "She’ll be fine. Because you’re a Were, the wound will heal slowly. Not as slow as if she were human. But slow enough that she’ll hate you."

"Not like we were destined to be bosom buddies anyway."

"I guess not." He set his knuckle under my chin, guiding my gaze. "What happened back there?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

His eyes flashed bright again and he released me. "What did I do?"

"I saw you. With her. After everything you said, you kissed her." I couldn’t keep the hurt from my voice, which was mortifying. I looked away.

"Who?"

I gave him a second to figure it out.

"Callista?" He let out a long breath. "Christ. If you think that, then you didn’t stay long enough."

"I stayed plenty long. You left with her yesterday. You kissed her today. You’ve dated her before. Look, I know I’m not the most experienced person when it comes to guys—let alone werewolf guys—but seriously it doesn’t take a ton of brainpower to know when your...whatever it is you are to me is cheating."

He sputtered and I held up a hand.

"So look at it from my perspective and tell me if you saw my ex kissing me what you would do. I walked away. Go me. But then I come back and she’s throwing the contents of my locker all over the hallway. Shouting crazy shit about me putting a spell on you and wanting me to give her the gris-gris. I’ve had enough. The past week and a half has been extraordinarily shitty. This is my breaking point. I’m done. With everything."

His shoulders hunched as his gaze met the ground. "I have so royally fucked up everything and I really don’t know how to fix it. From the second I met you, I’ve messed it up." His yellow eyes met mine. "I know you have no reason to believe this, but yesterday I was with the Cazadores. I didn’t ditch you to hang out with her. I think she’s covering up what her dad’s up to by saying she was leading us to some vampires’ den that turned out to be bullshit." He blew out a hard breath. "For the record, I don’t want her. At all."

Good. I stared unblinking at him.

"It probably doesn’t matter to you—the hurt is still the same—but I didn’t kiss her back. I pushed her away, and told her what I’ve been telling her for months—that it’s not going to work out. And now I can say the reason is because I’m mated to you. You’re it for me. And now I’ve hurt you again because I was trying to spare an old friend’s feelings."

Tears welled, and I focused on not letting them fall.

"I am yours," he said. "If you’ll have me."

"You can’t do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Say the right thing and then act like the opposite is true. One second everything is fine, and the next you disappear. What was that yesterday? You just run off. You disappear. You don’t call. You don’t text. I don’t see you or know if you’re okay until I see you kissing some other girl. I can’t do that. I can’t turn my emotions off and on like that. I’m either all in or all out. And if you can’t do that—if I don’t come first, then for God’s sake, leave me alone."

He pulled me to him. "I will get this right. I swear. I wasn’t thinking."

"Like I said on Saturday, I’m on shaky ground enough with this whole werewolf thing without adding a guy into the mix. Maybe we just need a break."

He squeezed me tighter. "No. No break. We don’t need a break. I’m not perfect, but I get it. I can’t see you run away from me again. So we stop this. We’re all in, because there is no other option for me. You’re my mate. You’re it for me. You have to trust me."

"Trust is earned."

"Then I’ll earn it."

I finally relaxed against his chest. "Promise."

"I promise. You’re my mate. My other half." He ran his fingers through my hair before tipping my chin up. "What happened in the hallway?"

God. He was going to say those nice things and then ask me that. Not cool at all. "It’s not important."

He cupped my cheek. "Yes, it is. Please."

"No."

"Pretty please."

I laughed. "Forget it."

"You don’t have to be embarrassed. It’s just me."

"Exactly. It’s you."

He gave me the saddest puppy dog eyes, and my will to stay silent wavered.

This was going to be embarrassing. "I was so angry after I saw...I couldn’t get control. I left class before I could humiliate myself—"

"Humiliate yourself?"

I rolled my eyes. "You know. Go furry."

He ran his thumb down my face. "That’s not humiliating. That’s what werewolves do."

"Yeah. But not in the middle of class."

"Sometimes in the middle of class."

I tried to shove him away. "Do you want me to tell you or what?"

He nodded.

"So I went into the hall and she was going through my locker. She started accusing me of some whacked out stuff. Demanded I give her my gris-gris, break whatever spell I put on you." I couldn’t stop the snort. "She pushed me into the lockers and something inside me snapped." I shook my head, trying to rid my mind of Callista bleeding beneath me. "Why did she say my arm was so gross? I mean I think it’s seriously weird. But I thought all of you shifted."

"Not everyone can do that. Only shift part of their body. Do you remember how you did it?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

The little bit of trust I’d built up for him just moments ago started to crack. Was he going to call me a freak too? I tried to take comfort in what he’d already said, but a lifetime of rejection had me holding my breath.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I broke away from his hold and sat on the ground, resting against the tree. "You’re making me nervous. Just say whatever it is and get it over with."

He squatted down in front of me and cupped my face with his hands. His lips softly brushed mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. The fear melted and my body burned. When he pulled away, I was breathing hard.

"Stop thinking the worst." He spoke as if I should understand words. My mind was utter mush with one kiss. He stood up and stepped toward my house. "Langdon," he shouted.

Mr. Langdon stepped onto the back porch. "How’s it going out here?"

Things were incredibly confusing.

"She doesn’t know how she did it," Brent said as Mr. Langdon walked toward us.

"Not surprising." Mr. Langdon sat down in front of me. "What you did back there took a lot of power."

Was he nuts? "Almost killing someone took a lot of power?"

"No. Half shifting your arm," Mr. Langdon said.

"I doubt Callista would agree with you." I held his gaze. "Am I in trouble?"

He raised one eyebrow over his hazel eyes. "No. Callista shouldn’t have taunted you, but she’s been trying to gain Brent’s power since they were pups. She was dead set on becoming his mate, regardless of how he felt."

A little growl slipped through me.

"Mate," Brent said softly to me.

I tried to breathe through the jealousy. Brent placed his warm hand in mine and calm poured into me.

"She’s furious that you’re more powerful than her," Mr. Langdon said.

I cleared my throat and tried to focus on what Mr. Langdon said. If I really was more powerful than her, why would she attack me?

"She was counting on you not realizing it," Mr. Langdon said. "You’re dominant to Callista."

Right. Serena had said that too.

I leaned away from Brent. "See, this is where I’m having problems. Who the hell talks about people being dominant?" I waved my hand to stop Mr. Langdon. "I know. I know. I probably should’ve read that stupid book instead of going for a hike."

The side of Mr. Langdon’s mouth tipped up.

Great. At least my frustration was amusing to someone.

"In other words, when you give her an order, she has to obey." He let that sink in. "That and the possibility of you being mated to Brent is more than she can stand."

Frustration burned into anger. "It’s not like I deliberately stole Brent from her." Brent stayed silent. "Right?"

"I’m not something to get stolen from anyone. Neither are you. We’re equal partners in this."

I put my head on his shoulder. Partners sounded much nicer than mates.

Mr. Langdon stood up and brushed the leaves off his jeans. "It’s time to go back to campus."

Brent nudged my shoulder with his. I felt connected to him in a way I couldn’t describe. Like he was a part of me. I was losing myself to him and the wolf. Would there be anything left for me?

Brent stood and reached down to help me up. He sighed when I hesitated. "This is hard on me, too."

Was I really that self-centered? I hadn’t thought about his feelings. "I guess you seem so in control, I didn’t think you had a hard time. Ever."

"Both of us have to learn to adjust. I’m taking it better than you because I’ve been a were my whole life." He let out a little growl. "But my wolf is out of control. I’ve been restless for the past year. And then I see you and everything else disappears.

And you keep fighting it." He ran his hands through his hair. He was even hotter with it mussed. "My wolf wants to claim you. To make you mine. To protect you. But I’m trying to give you time, give you a choice even if it’s killing me. It’s why I keep messing up. I should’ve just staked my claim and let you deal with having me attached at your hip."

Knowing that he was shaken up made me feel better. I didn’t feel quite so crazy. Or alone. I reached my hand up.

He yanked me to standing. "I admit I’m having a hard time and she’s finally smiling?" Brent said.

I chortled and it felt really good.

The back door slammed. Dad walked down the back steps in his work clothes.