The Tale of the Golden Apple - (1)
At last, the wedding was over... and the peaceful passage of time resumed in the Underworld.
I even constructed a statue for the goddess Nyx in my shrine in Thebes.
“Lord Hades has issued a divine oracle: to create a statue of the goddess Nyx, the Lady of Night...”
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“Nyx? Are we to build a statue of a primordial goddess and spread her renown?”
“Was such a being present in the Underworld?”
Occasionally, I assigned Dike, the goddess of justice, to regulate gods or humans who stepped out of line.
Lately, humans had grown more audacious, mocking the gods or engaging in acts of malice with increasing frequency.
Of course, I also paid a visit to Alecto, one of the Furies, who—oddly enough—had not attended the wedding.
“Alecto?”
“Sniff... sniff. Hades, why can you accept other goddesses but not me?”
“Well, it’s just that...”
“Is it because of my unsightly hair? Or the blood that flows from my eyes?”
It took considerable effort to calm her down.
To think that one of the goddesses of vengeance harbored feelings for me. However, recklessly adding to my number of consorts was unthinkable...
“Haaah...”
As I pondered these troublesome thoughts, the door opened, and Styx entered.
Dressed beautifully as always, she looked radiant. Hmm. Could it be...? No, not this early in the day.
“Hades, have you heard that Thetis is getting married?”
“Ah, I received the message Zeus sent, but I didn’t think it necessary for me to attend.”
“Was it Peleus? Apparently, she’s genuinely in love with that mortal hero...”
The union of gods and mortals bore fruit once again.
Cadmus, Heracles, and now even the goddess Thetis were marrying mortals. Could it be that heroes were drawing closer to the realm of the gods?
“Hades! Something terrible has happened!”
“...Lethe?”
While I was conversing with Styx, Lethe burst in, visibly panicked.
Now what could it be this time?
“My mother is missing!”
“The goddess Eris? Perhaps she’s simply attending to something—”
“No, that’s not it! She was furious about not being invited to Thetis’ wedding and stormed off in a rage!”
What? The goddess Eris wasn’t invited to the wedding? And now she’s stormed off in anger?
This could only mean trouble.
“They sent invitations even to the goddess of famine and Lady Gaia, but not to my mother!”
While fate doesn’t always bring happiness, justice, or joy,
I had hoped the wedding would remain a moment of peace...
“I must go immediately. Where is the wedding being held?”
“At the temple of the Olympian gods.”
Without delay, I left the Underworld and headed for Olympus.
Discord is ever-present, an inseparable part of destiny.
But to have it arise at a wedding—one prophesied to bear a son who would surpass his father—was ominous.
What happens to the prophecy if the wedding is disrupted?
And Zeus? How will the king of gods react?
Preventing chaos before it begins is the best way to avoid greater trouble later.
But when I arrived at Thetis’ wedding, I realized I was already too late.
The sound of raised voices echoed across the gods’ gathering above the clouds.
“Hah! As the queen of the gods and the goddess of marriage and family, it’s only natural that I deserve this golden apple!”
“No matter how much Lady Hera insists, this apple belongs to the goddess who possesses the greatest wisdom and competence—clearly, that is me.”
“With all due respect, doesn’t it say right there that it’s for the most beautiful goddess? And who else but me, the goddess of beauty and love, could that possibly mean? To claim otherwise is absurd...”
Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite.
These three goddesses were quarreling over a single golden apple.
No matter how rare the golden apple may be, even I owned a few.
Moreover, one of Hera’s possessions included an entire golden apple tree. Clearly, there was another reason for this dispute.
I pushed through the crowd of gods and approached Ares.
“Ares.”
“Oh, Uncle Hades, you’re here.”
“What in the world is going on? Why are those three goddesses fighting over a mere golden apple?”
He rubbed his temples, looking visibly troubled, and explained.
“Well, it’s because the golden apple is inscribed with the words ‘To the fairest goddess.’ Isn’t that enough to cause this kind of chaos?”
“Ah.”
“I suspect it’s the work of Lady Eris, the goddess of discord. What else could it be?”
Ares shrugged, his expression filled with exasperation.
Now I understood. In the end, it was a battle of pride—nothing more, nothing less.
While Aphrodite was undoubtedly the most beautiful goddess, it seemed each of them had interpreted the inscription differently.
“So, who do you think is the rightful owner of this golden apple?”
“Well, I think it should go to Lady Hera. Who else but the queen of the gods would be fitting?”
“But isn’t Lady Athena the most capable and accomplished goddess?”
“If you take the inscription literally, wouldn’t it make sense to give it to Lady Aphrodite?”
Hera interpreted the phrase as meaning the “most virtuous goddess.”
Athena saw it as referring to the “most distinguished and capable goddess.”
Aphrodite, however, took it at face value to mean the “most beautiful goddess.”
Even if I tried to mediate with this reasoning, it wouldn’t work.
Those three must already be aware that they’re interpreting it differently. It was truly a matter of pride.
The fact that Hera wasn’t using her strength to overpower the other two also spoke volumes.
She intended to claim the golden apple honorably, relying on rhetoric and the acknowledgment of the other gods.
The wedding, which should have been a blessed occasion for forming a new union, was already filled with loud arguments.
The goddesses fighting weren’t some lower deities; they were all high-ranking gods, above even the Olympian Twelve.
Given the circumstances, there weren’t many who could intervene.
Hymenaeus, the god of marriage, only wore a troubled expression, while Dike, the goddess of justice, held back her frustration.
Even the protagonists of the wedding were feigning ignorance, doing their best to avoid the conflict.
Poseidon, one of the three ruling gods, looked displeased, unsure whether to intervene or not.
“Ahem. Still, this is a wedding. Such disputes are... inappropriate,” he muttered.
Most others averted their gazes, hesitant to risk provoking the goddesses’ wrath.
Watching this scene, I sighed deeply and stepped forward.
“So, what you’re saying is that the rightful owner of this apple is—”
“It clearly says ‘to the fairest,’ doesn’t it? Obviously, I, Aphro—”
“What exactly are you all doing at Thetis’ wedding?”
The sharp glares of the quarreling goddesses turned to me, their expressions full of hostility toward whoever dared to interrupt.
But when they recognized me, their anger softened slightly.
“Hades. From the beginning, the golden apple tree was mine, and I am undoubtedly the most elegant and virtuous of goddesses. Do you think it’s right for someone less dignified than I to take this?” Hera asked.
“Lady Hera! I acknowledge that you are the queen of the goddesses, but I cannot yield the golden apple. I am clearly the most capable and accomplished goddess, so it should belong to me,” Athena interjected.
“Haah... What are you all even talking about? It says ‘to the fairest,’ doesn’t it? The goddess of beauty is standing right here!” Aphrodite exclaimed.
“Enough. Be quiet for a moment and listen to me.”
At my words, the three goddesses, still bristling, fell silent for a moment.
“Why are you all fighting over that golden apple? Wouldn’t it be better to simply give it to Thetis, the bride and the main figure of this wedding?”
“No!”
“Absolutely not!”
“That’s unacceptable!”
What do you even want me to do, then? Are you planning to keep fighting here?
A battle of pride should at least take place in an appropriate time and place, not at a wedding!
Should I just assert my authority to shut this down? But that wouldn’t work with Hera. No matter how irritating, the queen of the gods must be respected.
Still, if this had been my wedding, I wouldn’t have tolerated it. Not even from Hera.
No matter who they were, I would have thrown them all out of the Underworld.
“What are you all doing at a wedding!!!”
Yes. Just like that.
Thetis wasn’t a goddess who was disliked, and her groom, the mortal hero Peleus, was a grandson of Zeus.
So, it was only natural for Zeus to be this angry.
“Instead of bestowing blessings on this wedding, you disgrace yourselves with such petty squabbles. Truly a delightful sight,” Zeus said sharply as he approached and picked up the golden apple.
“The rightful owner of this apple will be decided later! For now, we must prioritize celebrating the union of the newlyweds!”
“Yes, yes...”
“Understood, dear.”
“If Lord Zeus says so, well...”
Thankfully, it seemed everyone decided to let it go for now.
Yes, save the fighting for later. What kind of behavior is this at someone else’s wedding?
I made my way to Thetis and her mortal husband.
Since I was here, it was only proper to offer my congratulations.
“Ahem. Despite the earlier commotion, congratulations on your marriage, Lady Thetis.”
“Thank you...”
“And you must be Peleus, her mortal husband.”
“Thank you, Lord of the Underworld!”
After offering a few kind words and presenting an appropriate wedding gift, I turned to Zeus.
He was staring at the troublesome golden apple, deep in thought.
“Zeus.”
“It’s giving me a headache trying to decide who should have this.”
“To be honest, it might be best to just interpret it literally and give it to Aphrodite...”
“That would only lead to more fighting.”
If the golden apple were split into three pieces and distributed, they’d accuse us of mocking them.
If it were given to one goddess, the other two would hold a grudge.
If we used authority to declare it a gift for Thetis, the bride, all three goddesses would be resentful.
In that case, shouldn’t we entrust the judgment to someone everyone can agree on?
It seemed Zeus was thinking the same thing as he looked at me and spoke.
Yes, that’s right. As the king of the gods, you should make a fair decision and give it to one of the goddesses...
“Hades, brother, could you make the decision? With your reputation as the Lord of the Underworld and a god known for fairness, they might grumble a bit but ultimately accept it.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me...”
Don’t push this onto me.