Chapter 198: Soren’s Tale [2]
’I was far too young to understand what was happening back then, but I later learned that my father decided I was the sole cause of her condition. He had branded me a harbinger of misfortune, blaming my birth for ruining my mother’s health and costing the family her valuable strength. Just like that, my fate was sealed, and I was relegated from a potential heir to an unwanted burden.’
Soren set the ingredients on the cutting board.
’Because of that, I was cast aside from the start. The servants ignored me, and my siblings used me to vent their frustrations. I spent my entire childhood being bullied, looked down upon, and treated like an unwanted ghost in my own home.’
He picked up the knife, his movements slowing down, though his hands remained steady.
’When you are that young, and everyone around you points the finger, you don’t think to question it. You just accept that they must be right. I too believed I was the reason my mother was sick, the actual cause of everything wrong with our family. So, I tried everything to make up for my existence. I endured the beatings, did whatever chores the servants dumped on me, and took every insult from my siblings, thinking that if I just worked harder, if I was just compliant enough, I might prove I belonged there.’
He paused, his eyes remaining on the blade.
He decided to spare her the details of what those years actually looked like. He had no intention of telling her how his father used to drag him by the collar, throwing him to the floor while screaming that he was the reason his wife was broken. He chose to hide how his brothers cornered him in empty hallways, leaving him bruised, or how the servants laughed as they forced a four-year-old to scrub the stone floors.
’Yeah, it’s better to keep them a secret.’
Locking those memories away, he continued.
’I lived like that for years, constantly wishing for my mother to get better. I kept telling myself that if she woke up, everything would change. And then, when I was seven, my prayers were finally answered. My mother actually recovered.’
’...’ Ethea’s fingers curled up in her lap. She kept her eyes on him, hoping that this was the moment his suffering had finally come to an end.
Soren smiled faintly. ’The change in the house was almost overnight. The blatant abuse and the constant torment toned down significantly. My siblings stopped using me as a punching bag, and the servants suddenly hesitated to dump their work on me. It wasn’t out of remorse, of course. They just feared that if my mother found out how they had treated her son while she was bedridden, she would punish them for it.’
’...’
’But honestly, I didn’t care about how the servants or my siblings changed,’ Soren chuckled, his hands coming to a complete stop over the cutting board. ’None of that mattered to me because I was just happy that she was awake. I kept thinking that I would finally have a mother, that I would finally feel what it was like to be loved by someone in that house.’
He closed his eyes for a brief moment, letting out a slow breath before resuming his work.
’But reality was cruel... A few days after her recovery, I was finally allowed into her room to see her. I remember walking up to her bed, my heart pounding, just waiting for her to smile or reach out to me.’
Soren paused, the knife cutting through a piece of food with a soft, distinct click against the wood.
’She... didn’t. She just sat there and stared at me. It was a look I recognized immediately. It was the exact same cold gaze I got from my father, my relatives, and the others every single day. In her eyes, I wasn’t a son she was happy to see. I was just the mistake that had cost her seven years of her life.’
’I didn’t want to accept it at first,’ Soren said, his voice dropping slightly. ’I convinced myself that she was just tired, that she was still recovering from being bedridden for so long. I stepped closer to her bed, trying to say something, but she didn’t even let me speak. She ordered the guards to throw me out of the room.’
He set the knife down, resting his hands lightly on the edge of the counter.
’I was never allowed back in after that. And slowly, my life drifted right back to where it started. Once the others realized my mother had absolutely no interest in me, the fear wore off. The isolation, the beatings, the chores... It all came back, and it was worse than before. Watching the hostility return only cemented my own guilt. I blamed myself even more, convinced that my very existence was a mistake if even my own mother couldn’t stand the sight of me.’
He looked over at Ethea, a trace of raw sadness showing in his eyes before he quickly masked the expression.
’It took me years to find out what had actually happened. Turns out, my father’s supposed grief over his true love was a complete lie. While Mother was bedridden, fighting for her life, he had already moved on and hooked up with another woman. By the time she finally got better, she realized she had lost her standing, her husband, and seven years of her life to a replacement.’
Soren let out a dry, humorless sound.
’In her mind, I wasn’t just the child who had broken her body. I had also become the very reason my father betrayed her. If I hadn’t been born, she would never have fallen ill, and she would never have been replaced. To her, my very existence was the catalyst for everything she lost.’
’...Soren,’ Ethea whispered through their connection, her voice filled with an aching sorrow.
Soren offered her a small, fleeting smile, though a tight sting flared in his chest as the memories rushed back. He could still clearly hear his mother’s venomous words, calling him a parasite, an eyesore, and the regret of her entire life.
’...’
Comments