I'm Just a Cat! (P.S. My Stand is a Menace)

Chapter 176: Chapter 11: Lucky Kitty

"System, gacha pull." Fight’s over, time to roll—gotta build good habits and never sit on unused pulls.

"Animation skipped for host."

[Easy Experience But Adults Only Edition: Kamen Rider...]

"Oh my, little girl."

Before she could read the rest, a creepy voice cut in. Yimi looked up and saw an unremarkable little old man.

His eyes lingered on Yimi for only a second before darting around, as if checking whether any adults were nearby.

"What’s all the commotion up ahead? This old man rushed to the airport first thing this morning, you know."

Perhaps it was Yimi’s EX Luck acting up again. At this very moment, an unreasonable but not-entirely-powerless customer was throwing their weight around at the airport staff.

The core issue was genuinely the ticket counter’s fault—they’d continued selling tickets for a grounded flight up to twelve hours after the lockdown. Joseph’s ticket was one of those.

He was feeling rather sheepish about it, but the other ticket holders were justifiably furious.

"You’re going to delay all of us over one smuggled animal? I don’t care about invasive species—you sold the ticket, so isn’t it your job to rebook us? I’m warning you, I’ve got a deal big enough to buy the whole damn plane. If this falls through, we’re going down together!"

The threatening voice carried over faintly.

"Plane. Not flying," Yimi answered the old man honestly.

"Oh? Is that so? This old man doesn’t quite understand. Why don’t you come a little closer and explain? I’ve got lollipops." He actually produced a pink lollipop.

"Candy!"

"It’s candy, yes. It’s too noisy here—this old man’s ears aren’t what they used to be. Why don’t we go somewhere quieter first..."

"Hey." A cold, sharp bark made the old man’s hand jerk.

He turned around and found a fist the size of a sandbag making zero-distance contact with his face.

"Blurgh—!"

Jotaro, hands in his pockets, had appeared without anyone noticing, looking down at the old man.

The old man clutched his gushing nose. "That’s horrible! I’m not some suspicious person—what kind of kidnapper would be about to board a plane?!"

"Did I say the word ’kidnapper’? Get lost."

The command was utterly devoid of human warmth. The old man shuddered, then scrambled away with his rolling suitcase, limping.

Once at a safe distance, he squinted. "So that cocky little punk is the one DIO-sama wants dead? Tch, I’ve already left an impression on him here. Damn it—I’ll rip your tongue out first!"

As long as they got on the plane, that kind of crowded, sealed space would be perfect for his Stand, Tower of Gray, to slaughter them!

Jotaro pressed his hand on top of Yimi’s head, his gaze still tracking the old man. "If you run into someone like that, just have your Stand punch them. No one’s going to blame you."

"Hah... First thing I hear coming out is you teaching a kid weird lessons. I get the sentiment, but you can’t just say that." Polnareff emerged from the restroom, fastening his belt.

Using the bathroom before a long trip was common sense. Yimi, on the other hand, didn’t need to use the restroom.

Joseph chimed in: "Polnareff’s right, Jotaro. Take this chance to work on that temper of yours. I can’t imagine how you’d handle things if you ever have kids."

"...Shut it, old man."

"JoJo, I have a suggestion that might not be entirely ethical." Kakyoin waved him over. Hierophant Green, following its master’s will, snagged a purebred cat that had somehow gotten into the airport.

Then smacked it unconscious with one palm.

"You killed a cat!" Yimi pointed at him in shock. "You’ve been controlled again!"

"I have not. I controlled my strength perfectly... JoJo, even though Holy-san isn’t showing any discomfort for the time being, we’re still racing the clock. If we take a ship from here to Egypt, that’ll be an incredibly long voyage—not to mention the time we’d need to search for DIO once we’re there."

Kakyoin held out the unconscious cat toward Jotaro, tilting his head toward the old man. "But if we can get on the plane, it’s only sixteen hours to our destination. I believe this breed is quite expensive in Japan?"

"Ah, I see. My thoughts exactly." Jotaro took the cat, the two of them falling into an inexplicable synchrony.

He passed it to Star Platinum.

His Stand was the same blank-slate type as Polnareff’s—nothing but raw stats—but its overwhelming speed and precision made Star Platinum perfectly suited for petty larceny. Like this, for instance.

Under Jotaro’s deliberate approach, Star Platinum stealthily unzipped the old man’s suitcase, swapped a thermos for the cat, and zipped it back up.

The old man didn’t even notice the change in weight.

"Excuse me, sir, we need to inspect your carry-on... What is this?!"

"Gah! When did that damn cat get in my bag? Disgusting!"

"I’m sorry, sir, please come with us... This is ×××. The suspect in the animal smuggling case appears to have been apprehended."

"What suspect?! What are you talking about? I’ll rip your tongue out, you hear me!"

"Threatening an officer now? Take him away!"

DIO’s pursuer, Tower of Gray—arrested. Pursuit capability: neutralized.

"..."

"Oh my, the suspect’s been caught! Wonderful, wonderful. The plane can take off now, right?" Joseph stepped forward with a smile.

To get on this flight, he’d had people work through the night preparing Yimi’s passport and entry documentation.

"Well, that may be so, but before questioning there’s no proof that man is actually the culprit, and anyway, flight schedules can’t just be changed on a—"

"What was that?" Joseph let irritation show on his face.

"Even if you’re unhappy, I can’t just... One moment, let me take this call. Hello? What? Understood... Everyone, please prepare to board."

It seemed the higher-ups had caved to the pressure. A scapegoat had walked right through the door—might as well hand him over and be done with it.

"But what about me? I don’t have a ticket!" Polnareff pointed at himself in dismay.

"That is a problem. I suppose we’d have to wait for the next flight?" Joseph fretted.

The staff member, hearing their predicament, whispered: "Sir, if you’re taking the flight to Egypt, the gentleman who was just arrested happened to be on the same one. That frees up a seat—if your documents are in order and you hurry..."

"Something this lucky exists?"

Lucky enough to make Joseph suspect a trap. But a moment’s thought ruled that out—there was no way DIO could have predicted Polnareff suddenly being freed from his curse and switching sides.

"Everyone, prepare to board. Still, stay on your guard. And Yimi-chan, I got you a window seat."

"Window?"

"So you can enjoy the scenery down below from way up in the sky."

Yimi had seen all that ages ago. She also knew the Earth was round, but fearing someone might plagiarize a cat’s discovery the way Shiori had, she decided not to tell anyone until she saw her mama and nana again.

"Speaking of which, did Suzi get you a game console? It doesn’t really look like one... ah, you didn’t steal it, did you?!" Joseph eyed the green toy in Yimi’s hand with suspicion.

"Kitties don’t steal things." Yimi tucked the freshly-pulled toy back into her storage space.

"I hope so, otherwise Suzi’s going to chew me out. That Stand ability of yours sure is handy, though." If not for Yimi’s age, Joseph would’ve considered having her sneak in some contraband and set off something big right in DIO’s face.

"Quit yapping, old man. Get on the plane." Jotaro brushed past them.

Unexpectedly, the flight was entirely uneventful. The lack of any incident almost made Joseph laugh out loud—at DIO’s lack of strategy. If it were him directing troops, he’d definitely have planted an ambush here.

Meanwhile, out at sea.

A killer disguised as a ship captain straightened his cap, standing aboard the vessel provided by the Speedwagon Foundation for Joseph. He opened his pocket watch and glanced at it.

"This Joseph fellow really is terribly unpunctual."