“God, I’m going insane....”
Leaning against Manager Choi’s shoulder, I pleaded.
“Unnie, cast the magic spell for me.”
“Alright. Yeoreum. Who are you?”
The actress personally chosen by a top writer whose dramas had never once fallen below 20% ratings, who had elevated every lead actor he cast into top-tier stars, who had pushed aside even the troika-level Hong Suryeon to choose her instead, who had secured PPL deals from every imaginable brand, who was now the model for Sansung Electronics devices, who might soon replace senior Shin Seojin as the new face of L Duty Free, and who had perfectly mastered romantic comedy to the point that people were solidifying the phrase “an actress you can always trust to watch” even further—
Ding.
A new upload notification popped up from the SBC variety-show channel I had set alerts for.
“No....”
Just seeing the thumbnail was enough to fill me with despair.
* * *
INTUBE
[Uncle Yoo Jiuk Appears at Soft Soft Kindergarten? The Master of Catching Rice Snacks in His Mouth! Even Seoyul-Heeyul Fall for Him!] 00:46
“Ahahahaang!”
Hong Suryeon spun around the set with a radiant smile. It happened so often now that the staff barely reacted anymore.
“I knew I was right!”
A romance male lead absolutely had to make people think, “Oh...? That guy...?”
To put it simply, he needed at least one trait that made people think, “I want him as my man.”
Both characters Yoo Jiuk would play in <There Is Only One Culprit> had exactly those “my man pick” points.
Then what kind of Yoo Jiuk “my man” moments should they show before airing?
—How did they know people are obsessed with giant man + baby combinations;;
—I want him to give me a piggyback ride too, husband TT_TT
—Why is Yoo Jiuk so good with kids LOLOLOL
—Please marry me. If Yoo Jiuk refuses to register our marriage. I will not stay still. Even if we meet in court. I want it to be family court.
˪ somebody arrest this person 😯😯
The answer was babies.
Hong Suryeon sold Yoo Jiuk at exactly the right moments.
“Hey, fuck, what kind of man—!”
“Oppa. Babies also deserve to see a real man at least once... although you’re right, oppa. I’m just saying.”
“Right, Jiuk-ah! Kids always have the sharpest instincts, you know? Jiuk really is smart, but still.”
“Exactly. Taking care of babies is something only truly dependable men can do. Everything Jiuk thinks is right, but— maybe think about it just a little more? Real males are different, after all.”
“That’s right. Something only oppa can show them.”
At those words, Yoo Jiuk raised one sharply arched eyebrow.
Then he smiled lazily.
“Well. Actually, I was thinking the same thing.”
That’s right.
Yoo Jiuk.
One of the Three Legendary Types.
“As expected from oppa!”
“You were just too considerate to say it out loud because you thought we might not realize... or because you’d get embarrassed, right?”
“Ah... seriously, Jiuk... how are you like this... hyung has never seen a male like you before. Seriously, you’re a male among males!”
He really was easy to gaslight.
Now in a good mood, Yoo Jiuk sprang to his feet saying he needed to go see the babies right away.
Behind him, Hong Suryeon muttered quietly.
“He’s so stupid... ah, my head hurts. He drains my energy.”
“Suryeon-ah, here’s a mirror.”
“Beautiful, right....”
And so Yoo Jiuk showcased his dazzling talents:
giving piggyback rides,
catching the rice snacks babies threw using only his mouth,
grabbing wrists tightly enough to make girls feel electrified,
being the best at applying sticker tattoos,
drawing characters with hilariously terrible artistic skill until children cried,
then getting sympathy for it,
carefully picking beans out of rice for them,
becoming a human swing,
a human slide,
a walking carousel—
Hong Suryeon, after previewing the edited footage, became convinced that during the exact overlap between the first broadcast week of <Dongdaemun Romance> and the first promotional week of <There Is Only One Culprit>, they would seize victory.
Even the teaser reactions were explosive.
ganajiwook @ganajiwook
(Soft Soft Kindergarten teaser.mp4)
Yoo Jiuk...? The man who can even make baby face-readers smile...?
Retrits 14K Likes 42K
˪ ah fuck he suits the word “husband” better than anyone alive
˪ my mutuals’ private accounts are going absolutely insane rn this is terrifying
˪ after watching this there isn’t a single sane woman left
dearmybabydarling @dearmybabydarling
(Soft Soft Kindergarten teaser.mp4)
I can’t even imagine how many women are about to start watching the drama from this one scene alone
Retrits 17K Likes 39K
˪ even this scene somehow feels like a romcom
˪ Yoo Jiuk seriously needs to do more romcoms while he’s young TT_TT don’t quit like Ji Haebeom did
˪ I’m desperately waiting for the premiere please come faster TT_TT
The <There Is Only One Culprit> side had thrown down a flashy declaration of war.
* * *
“We can’t lose! Then we’ll fight with romance!”
This was the MBS Variety Department.
Beside Center Director Lee Saerok, who muttered with the seriousness of a general heading into battle, So Yesol sighed.
“But why are you saying that in the variety department specifically...? Loud enough for everyone to hear too....”
Lee Saerok, who should have been in the drama division, was currently sitting inside the editing room of the <EmBubu> team.
“That’s what I’m saying too.... It’s stressful when someone at your level personally comes here to pressure us~....”
“To be honest, Director So is kind of getting on my nerves too~....”
“If it were Director Byeon, I could maybe understand, but I seriously don’t know why Director So came~....”
“Director Byeon is on set right now~.... The two of you personally came here because you have nothing to do~....”
“Director So totally came along with the division head because she thought this would secretly be fun~....”
The <EmBubu> team, already packed with ruthless people, had become even harsher after surviving Hwang Boseok’s training.
Right now, they were reviewing the final edit of the soon-to-air <Dongdaemun Romance> episode.
So Yesol, who truly had nothing to do and came just to watch, and Lee Saerok, who had endless work but came out of desperation, moved to the corner of the editing room.
“If it’s fun, what department is yours or mine among broadcasting-station bastards anyway.... It’s always been like that.... Saerok-ah, because of you being division head, even I....”
Ignoring So Yesol’s continued informal speech, Lee Saerok’s hands moved busily.
“Everyone focus~.... They unleashed Yoo Jiuk at a kindergarten over there~....”
If the other side was presenting a “my man compilation,” then this side would counter with elderly passion, rookie freshness, and a beautiful dog.
Onscreen, Han Yeoreum hugged a puppy tightly while smiling brightly.
* * *
Aetami finally sat down in front of the TV.
“It’s here. My <EmBubu>.”
Even the teaser alone had been entertaining.
And not just anyone’s daily life—
It was star writer Hwang Boseok’s.
“This is guaranteed hit material.”
MBS had aggressively pushed viral marketing centered around Writer Hwang.
“Thank god....”
A hopeful thought emerged that maybe this could secure middle-aged viewers early on.
Right now, the drama middle-aged viewers were most interested in was <There Is Only One Culprit>, followed by 〈Dear Judge〉.
“The Yoo Jiuk–Hong Suryeon combination is already famous....”
With two top stars paired together, many viewers had already decided what drama they’d watch next without needing to think about it.
“And Do Gyeoul’s transformation concept is ridiculously strong....”
It was impossible to erase the image of Do Gyeoul burned into the public’s minds since childhood.
And on top of that, it was a legal drama, a genre with an established hardcore fanbase.
“But if it’s Hwang Boseok, then it’s different!”
The combination of star writer Hwang Boseok and two much younger actors was more than enough to make middle-aged viewers’ hearts race.
[♨︎EmBubu Live Thread♨︎ M Headquarters Holy Grail War Is Fucking Insane...]
—LMAO what is this thread title holy shit
—I’m seriously excited after seeing the puppy teaser
—Wait did Han Yeoreum originally have a dog?
˪ nobody knows lool if she never posted it on SNS before she probably didn’t
—I never thought Hwang Boseok would appear on variety shows..T_T I’m so happy
Even the thread title itself was on fire.
The broadcast logo appeared, and <EmBubu> began.
Yeoreum’s face, greeting the panelists briefly, looked better than ever.
“Why does it feel like it’s been so long....”
She had replayed Ryu Risa’s Intube video countless times just a few days ago, yet it still felt this way.
Because she had seen Han Yeoreum’s “real ordinary girl” photos too often recently.
Aetami tearfully took in Yeoreum’s appearance—
long straight hair and natural makeup for the first time in a while.
Han Yeoreum’s <EmBubu> had always rewritten what “legendary” meant.
Aetami’s heart began pounding with anticipation.
—Just thinking about it makes me so nervous.
—A day in the life of our star writer... huff... ha....
—No, why do you keep breathing like that?! I’ll say it instead. Starting with Writer Hwang!
Hwang Boseok’s tranquil workspace-home appeared.
The stylish two-story house with elegant pine trees planted outside echoed with clear birdsong.
Wearing silk pajamas and a robe, Hwang Boseok opened the refrigerator and took out fruit and nuts.
Then he approached the window.
Q. Do you have a morning routine?
A. Feeding the birds is nice. Watching them chirp while pecking at food gives me energy.
—TT_TT this is literally my ideal life.. meditating in a sunlit house while sitting in a rocking chair in the morning..
—How much money do you think Hwang Boseok makes holy shit I’m jealous
˪ he probably gets 100 million won per episode and if you count other income his estimated assets are easily over 10 billion won
˪ these lunatics were shown a healing meditation scene and immediately started estimating his net worth LMAO
˪ this is Korea
After leisurely spending the morning, Hwang Boseok packed luggage into a suitcase.
Q. Where are you going?
A. I’m heading to pre-production for my next project. I’m thinking of staying up all night again for the first time in a while.
The MBS Drama Center appeared.
Inside the sleek shining building were Lee Saerok and the director of <Dongdaemun Romance>, Byeon Juhwa.
The conference room was scattered with materials.
Dongdaemun location photos.
Clothing sponsorship images.
—Going to a meeting and saying you’re preparing to pull an all-nighter LOLOLOL
—Broadcasting-station people are brutal... at his age they should be putting him to bed early..T_T
—What kind of personality does Saerok have
˪ ah fuck he feels so familiar now LMAO he’s starting to feel like a friend
Lee Saerok and Byeon Juhwa greeted him emotionally, still unable to believe that Hwang Boseok himself was personally discussing things alongside them like a rookie writer.
—Do you know how many places are lining up just to get a script from Writer Hwang...?
—Exactly. If Writer Hwang just slammed a script down on the table, people would swarm in and start fighting over it.
—Keuheulheul. People exaggerate. I’m not that incredible.
—Teacher! Even if you say that, absolutely nobody believes you!
The panelists once again praised Hwang Boseok’s attitude.
Sometimes serious, sometimes playful, he continued the meeting.
Hearing Nam Pyeonghwa and Jeon Segye described directly by the original writer himself made <Dongdaemun Romance> already feel vividly alive even before episode one had aired.
—The premise is seriously delicious lololol Cinderella clichés only work when a master handles them
˪ seriously T_T I’m already excited
—There’s a reason Hwang Boseok is the king of romcoms at least he’s not an old fossil so his stories never feel outdated
˪ no random white knee socks and school uniforms out of nowhere.. no high school girls with ribbon pins in Hwang Boseok’s universe
˪ the fact that this grandpa even knows B-bly means his instincts are alive
The meeting continued late ➤ NоvеⅠight ➤ (Read more on our source) into the night.
Hours passed in nonstop forced marches of work.
—T_T they’re abusing grandpa let him rest
—Hwang Boseok’s passion is insane.. even someone in their twenties would struggle with that
˪ people in their twenties would already spend half the meeting secretly on their phones
˪ people in their thirties are feeling called out too..lol
Then a subtitle appeared briefly.
Subtitle: Due to unavoidable circumstances, we will fast-forward.
—??
—What does that mean
—Suddenly??
And then the hellish training began.
Without moving from his seat, Hwang Boseok typed and typed and typed again.
Then he showed the screen, said something, and started typing and typing and typing again.
Then he ate cake—
and typed again.
—???
—What is happening
Hwang Boseok briefly went to shower, changed clothes, then returned to typing and typing and typing again.
He grabbed cookies with coffee—
and typed again.
—What exactly are we watching right now?
—Are meetings... normally like this?
—Even when I first entered the comedian department, it wasn’t this bad....
The panelists stared at the scene in disbelief.
The sun rose.
Hwang Boseok typed.
—Grandpa’s the one abusing Saerok here
—Wasn’t Saerok originally a jasmine tea guy? How many coffees has he had now?
—What the hell is Hwang Boseok? Are there actually three people named Hwang / Bo / Seok???
Evening came.
Hwang Boseok typed.
Music straight out of an amusement-park carousel played in the background.
But not a single person looked happy.
Office workers employed in high-intensity jobs were seconds away from having their PTSD buttons violently triggered.
The screen switched to an interview.
Q. Were meetings always this long?
A. ....
Lee Saerok said nothing.
Q. Were meetings always this long?
A. ....
Byeon Juhwa also said nothing.
Q. Were meetings always this long?
A. Normally? No. I can’t even remember the last time I pushed through meetings like this.
Hwang Boseok answered with a bright smile.
A. But then I looked at the broadcasting schedule and thought, “At this rate, we’re seriously in trouble.” Keuheulheul. What do they call this again? A war, right?
The topic Lee Saerok and Byeon Juhwa couldn’t bring themselves to say aloud—
Hwang Boseok spoke of it casually.
It was the ease only a top writer could possess.
A. So I figured I should do whatever I can. If I just sit around acting like “I’m Hwang Boseok,” we’ll end up getting destroyed.
The screen returned to the meeting room.
Han Yeoreum entered.
After brightly greeting everyone, Hwang Boseok handed her a slice of chocolate cake, stuffed cake into his own mouth, and immediately refocused on the meeting.
—As for Eden...
The skilled <EmBubu> editing team cut out the earlier conversation between the two and aired only the important section.
—Beep—... he’s really good at things like that.
Right after Han Yeoreum’s censored audio, the shot immediately switched to Seo Eden.
—??? What is it
—Tell us too
The shock from the unprecedented forced-march meeting transformed directly into overwhelming curiosity.
And just like that, <EmBubu> viewers became completely glued to the channel.
