Chapter 36: Chapter 36: Oh Dear Lord, How Thrilling
"If we are fated to meet again, I will introduce myself then. As for what happened today, rest assured, miss. I will not speak a word of it to anyone."
Song Yunzhao wasn’t surprised to hear the gentleman with the fan’s refusal. ’He’s basically telling me not to hit on him, that it’ll go nowhere.’
Tsk. ’Prime cabbages aren’t so easy to bring home, after all.’
The man had politely turned her down, and it wasn’t like Song Yunzhao couldn’t take a hint. ’Forget it, forget it. Once I’m done with the palace selection, I might be granted a marriage by imperial decree. Even if I see him again, it probably won’t be our fate to be together.’
Sigh. ’What a pity. Our fate is just too shallow.’
Having lost interest in getting closer to him, Song Yunzhao focused all her attention on the gossip from the second floor. She had no idea how chaotic things had gotten up there. Even though she’d written this "script," not being able to see the live show was driving her crazy.
"Sir, did you see what happened on the second floor?"
She couldn’t see the scene herself, but she wasn’t above listening to a live commentary.
Feng Yi looked at the undisguised, eager thirst for gossip on Song Yunzhao’s face and, for some reason, suddenly let out a small laugh.
Song Yunzhao: ...
’There’s something strangely captivating about that smile. And quite handsome, too.’
Feng Yi recounted what he had seen, and it matched the information Song Yunzhao had. The guards she’d sent to inquire hadn’t been wrong.
Tsk. ’Scumbags are a species that transcends time and space.’
Noticing Song Yunzhao’s peculiar expression, Feng Yi nonchalantly asked, "Miss, what are your thoughts on this matter?"
Since they were destined to be nothing, Song Yunzhao didn’t bother putting on the airs of a proper lady. She said bluntly, "This scholar can truly endure what others cannot and achieve what others cannot. He’s a real piece of work."
Feng Yi: ?
That backhanded compliment gave him the feeling he was dealing with one of those slippery old ministers at court.
"Miss, feel free to speak your mind," Feng Yi said, maintaining his smile.
"He’d bend his back for silver and break a promise for power. Whoever ends up with such a self-serving person is just plain unlucky."
’A self-serving person?’
’That’s a novel term, but on second thought, it’s quite fitting.’
Feng Yi looked up at Song Yunzhao and saw her craning her neck toward the second floor as if she could actually see something. For some reason, he found the sight inexplicably amusing.
"Your words are rather unconventional, Miss. After the scholar passes the exams and becomes an official, his engagement to that young lady would indeed be a case of her marrying up. For him to marry a wife of equal status and then take the young lady in as a concubine could be considered a solution that satisfies both parties."
Hearing Feng Yi’s words, Song Yunzhao gave a scornful laugh. ’This man looks so noble and righteous, but to think he’s a philanderer too. Thank goodness, thank goodness this sleek, smooth, super-gorgeous cabbage doesn’t belong to me, or I’d puke myself to death.’
"One shouldn’t be so fixated on social climbing; comparisons will only hurt oneself in the end. Without that young lady’s silver, how could this scholar have traveled to Shangjing to study under a master? Without a master, how could he have secured such a good marriage prospect? In the end, this entire chain of cause and effect was brought about by that young lady. He’s biting the hand that feeds him. For such an ungrateful, bottom-feeding person to be described as a clever man with all bases covered... and here I thought you were a gentleman of noble character and high integrity. Turns out you’re nothing special."
Feng Yi was left speechless, not knowing whether to laugh or cry at her retort. But on second thought, he realized his judgment hadn’t been wrong. He needed someone exactly like Song Yunzhao, someone with a difficult personality, to clean out his harem for him.
With that in mind, Feng Yi asked, "If you were in her shoes, Miss, what would you do?"
"Demand justice, get my silver back, and ruin his reputation while I’m at it, of course," Song Yunzhao said decisively. "Then all debts are settled. He can marry whomever he wants, and I can marry whomever I want. We’ll have nothing to do with each other ever again."
’What’s the point of keeping a scumbag like that around—one who’s both devious and utterly vile? To serve as an extra dish for the ancestral rites during New Year’s?’
Feng Yi’s eyes lit up. Yes, her words were exactly to his liking. He found the women forced into his harem exceptionally annoying. He felt that even sleeping with them would sully him. He needed someone with Song Yunzhao’s explosive personality to clear the field for him.
Just then, a woman in a pale yellow dress stormed down from the second floor, her face flushed with anger, and stalked out with her servants. A fair-skinned man in a bamboo-green long robe chased after her from upstairs, and in the blink of an eye, their backs vanished from sight.
Before Song Yunzhao could process what happened, she heard someone announce loudly, "Everyone, I am the shopkeeper of Yuquan Building. I’m sure you are all very curious about the outcome of this incident. I will be sure to inquire thoroughly on your behalf! In two days, Yuquan Building will invite a storyteller to recount this amusing tale for you all. We welcome you to join us then!"
Song Yunzhao was stunned. ’This Xie Jinshu is really something else, ending on such a ruthless cliffhanger. In a later era, he’d be an absolute marketing genius.’
’This suits me just fine. The Xie family will definitely earn back the silver for buying the storybook rights. So I can accept their money with a clear conscience.’
Song Yunzhao was in high spirits. Seeing Feng Yi stand up, she said, "Thank you for the tea today, Sir..."
"Watch out!" Feng Yi’s long arm shot out and pulled Song Yunzhao aside.
Yanked off balance, Song Yunzhao stumbled. Her vision blurred, and she had no idea what was happening. She subconsciously grabbed the arm of the gentleman with the fan. Before she could steady herself to see clearly, she heard a sharp, feminine cry, "You’re still protecting her? I already asked around! She got word and came here today specifically to corner Brother Yunting!"
Song Yunzhao: ...
’Seriously, just hearing the words "Brother Yunting" gives me a physical urge to run away.’
’I’m cursed with bad luck every time I hear those words.’
Once she was steady on her feet, she turned to look at her seat and saw, as expected, a large puddle of tea splashed all over it.
’Is my entire life destined to be a battle against teapots, teacups, tea bowls, and the entire tea product line?’
Song Yunzhao’s face darkened, and she said nothing.
Seeing her like this, Feng Yi was reminded of her bad luck at the Three Yuan Building and suddenly burst out laughing.
’Honestly, it was the first time in his life he’d ever met such an unlucky woman.’
’He’d always felt his own life wasn’t very smooth, but now he felt much better. Life really is all about comparison.’
’Happiness comes from comparing yourself to others, after all.’
Song Yunzhao took a deep breath, and then another. She chanted to herself, ’I’m just an unranked cannon fodder supporting character. The female lead is here, so I must stay calm. Cannon Fodder Number One is determined to court death, so I just need to watch the show from the sidelines.’
"Don’t get angry, don’t get angry. If you get sick from anger, no one will suffer in your place."
Hearing Song Yunzhao muttering to herself, the corner of Feng Yi’s mouth twitched. She was always saying these strange things that somehow sounded like twisted logic.
Song Yunzhao decided to endure it. He Lan Yun was only trying to splash tea on Qin Xiyue; she was just the unlucky one who got caught in the crossfire.
’He Lan Yun didn’t mean to splash me. It was an accident, just an accident. I’m a reasonable person. I can take it!’
Song Yunzhao swallowed this mouthful of drama and forced a smile, thanking the gentleman with the fan. "Thank you for your righteous help, sir..."
Before she could finish, the crowd suddenly surged. A powerful force pushed her, sending her stumbling toward the gentleman with the fan. This pose looked exactly like she was throwing herself into his arms. If this were a later era, she might have just gone with the flow and pounced.
But here and now? No way!
She immediately dug her heels in, her fingers gripping his arm tightly. Sticking her butt out, she used every ounce of her strength, like a dead weight, to stop herself. For the sake of her reputation, she was giving it her all.
Feng Yi’s expression changed as he watched Song Yunzhao’s frantic movements. With a slight turn of his arm, he followed her momentum and steadied her. Then, before the person who had pushed her could notice, he spun around and slipped into the crowd, making it seem as if he had been pushed away by the throng.
Song Yunzhao had no time to worry about the gentleman with the fan. The moment she was steady, her combat-readiness flared. She whipped her head around and came face-to-face with Qin Xiyue’s utterly wretched expression.
Behind Qin Xiyue were Ji Yunting and Helan Yue, protecting her. Behind them, Chu Donghui had caught hold of He Lan Yun.
It was like the Calabash Brothers trying to save their grandfather—the whole gang was present and accounted for.
’Right now, it’s a huge brawl between the female lead, the female supporting character, and the male supporting characters. I’m someone who hasn’t even secured a tiny plot of land in the harem, so on what grounds should I serve as the vanguard cannon fodder?’
Song Yunzhao was furious. Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, but a third time is an enemy action. She had tolerated it the first two times, but this was truly the last straw.
Because of He Lan Yun’s whip, Yuquan Building was in chaos. After steadying herself, Song Yunzhao held onto a table with one hand to keep from being knocked over. With the other foot, she stealthily stuck it out and tripped Ji Yunting perfectly. Just as he was about to fall into Qin Xiyue’s arms, Helan Yue unleashed his potential, let out a great roar, pushed through the crowd, and shoved Qin Xiyue away with immense force.
Song Yunzhao watched as Qin Xiyue was forced to spin around, right into the path of He Lan Yun’s whip.
’Oh my god, how exciting.’
Although Song Yunzhao knew the female lead would definitely not get hit by the whip, she still subconsciously covered her face, peeking out from between her fingers just in time to see Chu Donghui reach out and catch the whip.
Tsk.
Song Yunzhao thought, ’The female lead’s plot armor is truly invincible. My strategy of staying far away from her is the right one.’
Taking advantage of the chaos, Song Yunzhao quit while she was ahead and immediately retreated. After she had furtively slipped out of Yuquan Building, she remembered that the gentleman with the fan had already made a run for it long ago.
Hmph. ’You really can’t judge a book by its cover. But, seeing as he helped steady me and protect my reputation back there, I’ll give this clever little devil a thumbs-up.’
’Why can some people avoid becoming cannon fodder? Because they’re fast runners.’
It wasn’t until she was seated in her carriage and the wheels were spinning rapidly away from that place of trouble that Song Yunzhao finally patted her chest and took a great gasp of air.
’Thank goodness, thank goodness I slipped away.’
If she had dared to stay and watch the show, something even more unlucky might have befallen her. As a nameless, low-level cannon fodder, she couldn’t afford to become a stepping stone for Cannon Fodder Number One, He Lan Yun.
’As for how the female lead and female supporting character’s drama unfolds, what does that have to do with me?’
’I may love to watch the drama, but first, I need to be alive to watch it.’
Back at her residence, Song Yunzhao changed into her casual clothes. Holding a book and sipping tea, she couldn’t be more content.
After a good hour had passed, she finally remembered she hadn’t taken care of her actual business—she’d forgotten to give the newly written storybook to Xie Linlang.
’Oh well. I’ll have someone deliver it tomorrow. It’s not a good day to go out again.’
"Miss."
Feeling that she needed to recover properly from the scare, Song Yunzhao lazily looked up at Qiancao, who was lifting the curtain to enter.
"Miss, Miss Xi from the East Courtyard would like to invite you over for tea."
Song Yunzhao frowned. "Now?"
’Isn’t it almost time for dinner?’
’What kind of tea are we drinking at this hour?’
"Yes. Miss Xi’s maid said that Miss Xi insists you grace her with your presence."
’Song Yexi isn’t planning to participate in the selection. What could she want to drink tea with me for?’
Song Yunzhao had a feeling something was up and didn’t really want to get involved.
